Blame
by pip25
Summary: A Misha "route" after Shizune's bad ending. Expelled from the Student Council, Hisao and Misha find themselves drawn to each other despite personal misgivings. They have a bumpy road ahead of them, however, as Hisao struggles with his conflicting emotions and his inability to properly face his previous failings. (Complete)
1. Chapter 1: Aftermath

**_Author's notes:_** I am well aware that several attempts have been made to create a route for Misha, but (while I haven't read much of the existing ones yet) I don't think this particular concept has been tried before.  
This story picks up exactly where the Bad End left off, on the same day even, so reading it after (re-)playing the route is encouraged (although not necessary of course, but all the gloom and doom at the beginning might feel slightly jarring otherwise). In keeping with the tradition of the Shizune route, the fic features a single choice that determines the ultimate fate of Hisao and the others.

A few words regarding continuity: I've been working with the assumption that the events of the "Parfait" chapter went the same way and had exactly the same results as in the good ending. While this may sound surprising, it is actually supported by numerous events later on; for instance, it is said that Misha visited Shizune in the student council room on her own volition the day before Shizune and Hisao parted ways, wanting to help her (without success, as Shizune declined her offer the same way she declined Hisao's). The tricky part of the bad ending is that, unlike the good ending, it does not skip several days after "Parfait", which is why it starts with Misha still feeling pretty down. (This is stated in the good ending as well, but followed immediately by the observation that she started looking more like her old self with each passing day after that.)

This fanfic has a soundtrack! From time to time, you'll come across paragraphs with the text "Music track: TRACK NAME" in the story. If you have the game at hand, you can use the "Extras" menu option to access the game's soundtrack, allowing you to listen to the BGM while reading for a more authentic Katawa Shoujo experience.

Have fun reading, and remember: Hisao is an unreliable narrator. What he tells us about those around him often say more about himself than about anyone else.

* * *

**Blame**

"Can you be yourself?"

**1. Aftermath**

_Music track: Daylight_

Shizune kept to her word.

No, I suppose that's not the right way to put it. When it comes to her, it's more like she makes a decision, and then browbeats the world into submission. No matter how hard the world may try to resist.

With this decision, I think the world put up quite a fight. After all, it's hard to ignore people you not only go to the same class with, but they sit right next to you too. Not to mention that they do not take well to being ignored.

Well, Misha didn't want to be ignored.

I knew better than that, I guess. The morning's events were still fresh in my mind; I could clearly see Shizune sitting dejectedly on the stairs, her arms hugging her legs as I walk away from her. There was no helping it; I only did what she insisted on, after all.

There was no point to arguing with her, not back then, and not in the classroom either, so I watched with a strange sense of detachment as Misha tried repeatedly to get her attention without any success whatsoever. Her signs became increasingly exaggerated, to the point that eventually half of the class was staring at her. Then a loud, irritated cough coming from Mutou's direction forced her to stop.

Shizune simply kept her eyes on the board the whole time. It was like she didn't notice, or as if she forgot about sign language altogether. I idly wondered which one of these ridiculous impressions was she trying to make; either way, she was shockingly good at it.

I also couldn't help but wonder if she was really prepared to do this for the remainder of the school year… but I guess the answer to that is fairly obvious.

She left the classroom immediately at the start of lunch break, and did not come back. This was nothing unusual; because of the amount of work involved, members of the Student Council have a lot more leeway with skipping classes – that much quickly became apparent to me during the year I've been part of it. To an outsider, the only thing that might've seemed amiss was that she went alone instead of at least dragging Misha with her.

Speaking of whom, she spent most of the afternoon classes in something of a daze. I wanted to talk to her, but had no idea of what I could say. No, scratch that. There was only a single subject that would've made sense to talk about, and that wasn't the time or the place for it.

Maybe I was avoiding that specific conversation, even. I can't give a much better explanation to why I left her sitting at her desk at the final bell, and started trudging randomly around the school building. A random walk that, of course, just had to end in front of the student council room.

I could hear the sound of shuffling paper from the inside.

I put my hand on the door. It was locked.

After staring at it for a while, I eventually made my way back to my room in the dorms.

And, well… here I am. Sitting in front of my desk, with plenty of homework and studying to do, and I'm replaying today's events over and over in my head instead. It's aggravating. I don't even know what I'm trying to find, or what I'm trying to learn from it.

I glance at the window, and notice that the sunlight sifting through the curtains already has an orange tint to it. I nervously check my watch. Damn, is it this late already…?

I shake my head, as if trying to break free of some malign hypnosis, and focus my eyes on the textbook before me. I'm reading with the speed of a dying snail, but at least it seems to work.

Minutes pass, maybe even hours. I don't want to check my watch again, out of fear that even such a small distraction would ruin my concentration.

And I'm supposed to like physics, too…

BAM-BAM-BAM

Despite all these extensive precautions, my focus is shattered to bits by a loud knock on my door before I could reach the end of the chapter. I angrily slam the book shut, estimating its weight in my hands as I pick it up. If my suspicion is right and Kenji is the one responsible, this nice, heavy textbook is going to slam right into his face.

"It isn't locked," I call out, twisting my body sideways in the chair to ready myself for a throw.

The door creaks. The book falls back from my hands to the desk.

_Music track: Painful History_

"Hello, Hicchan."

Misha is already showing her back to me as she says this, turning around to close the door, then makes her way through the room and sits down on my bed.

She looks inexplicably tired, almost completely drained of energy, with her shoulders drooping and her gaze on the floor. The only time I saw her so depressed was a little over a week ago on the rooftop, and that… well, involved discussing a certain topic that I hope she'd never want to bring up again. I shudder at the mere thought. The state of relative apathy I managed to keep up so well throughout the day slowly crumbles, replaced by… I'm not sure what. Is this fear?

Right. Apathy my ass. I've been dreading this discussion all day long.

The silence stretching between us would be uncomfortable in itself, but seeing her of all people so unwilling to speak is even more unsettling.

"What's the matter?" I manage to say. I feel a bit guilty because of it, since I'm obviously playing dumb.

She raises her head, golden eyes searching my own. "I don't know, Hicchan. Shicchan has been avoiding us all day, or more like… she's pretending we're not even there."

Well, at least she has the courage to cut right to the chase, the courage I still seem to lack.

"Yeah, I… noticed."

Another meaningless sentence. I really ought to get a grip already.

"You two talked to each other this morning, right? You were both late for class, did something happen? What's wrong?"

She's basically pleading now.

I really don't want to tell her about this. Why didn't Shizune talk to her, anyway? It's just too cruel. I only know them since a couple of months, but they've been together for much longer than that…

Maybe that's the reason. Maybe it would have simply been too painful. Maybe Misha wouldn't have given up as easily as I did; like Shizune, she can be really stubborn if she wants to.

And so the dirty work falls to me. Fine.

I draw a deep breath and recount the morning's events to her the best I can. I try to stick to the bare facts: what Shizune said, how I responded and so on. Not meeting her gaze probably helps to keep my voice even and neutral, even if I feel stupid for doing so.

When I finish my explanation and glance at Misha again, her expression is not what I've been expecting. Her mouth is twisted into a small, uncertain pout as her eyes regard me with incredulity. It's like I'm Mutou on one of his really bad days, trying to teach her a thing or two about Einstein's theory of relativity. In any other situation, I'd probably find it funny, or even endearing.

"I… I don't get it." She slowly shakes her head. "This isn't like Shicchan at all. Just a few a days ago, she… all the time, she was trying so hard to cheer me up… Remember when you two didn't let me leave the classroom, Hicchan~?" That sudden cheerful smile on her face feels awfully fake and strangely typical at the same time. "It was almost like in some action movie. We have you now, Misha~! There's no escape~! We'll wipe the gloom off your face right~ this~ instant~!…"

The smile disappears as quickly as it came, and we sit in silence for a while again as I try to consider what she said. Misha does have a point. The change in Shizune's behavior really was sudden and unexpected. I wonder why I realize this only now.

What was it, four days ago? Her family dropped by for an odd visit, and after they left we spent the time trying to come up with a good way to get Misha to give their friendship another chance. She seemed to be as energetic and driven as ever, not just then, but the morning after as well, when we've put that plan in motion.

We haven't seen each other for two days after that. I'm not sure why; the jury was still out on whether our plan worked or not, which may have been part of the reason. Still, while that could explain my own hesitation, giving in to anxiety like that would've been unlike her. Unless…

"Maybe… she was taking this a lot harder than she let on. In the end… it got the better of her," I offer.

It would make sense. The preparations for the student council elections showed us a typical example already, with Shizune pretending to feel fine, even though something was obviously bothering her. Both me and Misha saw hints, but she'd deny it if asked. With her best friend keeping her distance, and me downplaying my own problems in a misguided attempt to make her feel better, but only ending up pushing her away as well out of guilt… how desperate she could have felt? I have no idea.

"This really is my fault, isn't it, Hicchan?" Misha's sullen voice reaches my ears.

Oh, damn it. That's the last thing I wanted her to think. I regret opening my mouth already.

"I made Shicchan sad and upset. I did awful things behind her back. And even when you told me I shouldn't let our friendship go to waste… I believed you, but I still couldn't bounce back to normal just like that. That was too much, even for me… hahaha." She closes her eyes, as if lacking the strength to keep them open any longer. "Now I missed my chance. I really, really blew it, Hicchan."

I bolt from my seat. The sudden movement visibly startles her, but she doesn't open her eyes even when I plop down next to her on the side of the bed.

"Look, if someone is to blame here, it's me." I need to calm down. Sounding so upset won't help. "Maybe you didn't notice, but things have also been awkward between Shizune and me for a while. If she knew she could count on me, I'm sure this would have worked out. But I chose to keep my own secrets from her, and I think with that I hurt her more than I could have any other way."

Not to mention Shizune isn't all that innocent either. We thought up the perfect "cheer-up-Misha" plan, working together as equals for the first time since… likely forever, and she quit before she could see what came out of it. Of course Misha did not revert to her usual self immediately. It would've been foolish to expect that. But she did come around, little by little. Our plan worked, but by that time Shizune didn't care. She gave up. Doing something like that is so uncharacteristic of her that I get frustrated just thinking about it.

I'm not going to share this train of thought with Misha of course. I'm not that stupid.

She gives me no response; looks like what I did say apparently wasn't enough to change her mind. I'm not surprised. Like I said, both of them can be stubborn to a fault.

What to do then? Should I just say "all right" and walk off, hiding my frustration behind anger? Just like earlier today?

No way. I already regret doing that. This time, I'm not going to give up so easily. I can be stubborn too, if I want… I hope so, at least.

I reach out and put a hand on her shoulder. I can feel her flinch at my touch - not really the effect I was going for, but this is not the time for me to get cold feet. Leaning closer, I whisper into her ear.

"Listen Misha, I don't think-"

I'm suddenly thrown off balance as she jumps to her feet, almost in panic. No, one look at her features tells me it's not "almost". She's backing away now, positively frightened. But what did I do to make her-?

Right. Of course. This whole situation, the two of us sitting in my room, she being depressed… it's all too familiar, and not in a good way. What we did here over a week ago was probably one of the things that started this whole mess. No wonder she's scared to repeat the same mistake again - not that I intended to do anything of the sort, either.

I want to call out to her. I want to tell her that it's just a misunderstanding. That I only wanted to… what exactly? Comfort her…? Between the two of us, that word has acquired a twisted double entendre of sorts which freezes my thoughts in place for a moment. And then it's already too late.

As I hear the door close behind her, I grab my pillow and throw it across the room.

Never mind what I said. I _am_ that stupid, or maybe even worse.


	2. Chapter 2: Grudge

**2. Grudge**

_Music track: School Days_

Imagine this funny scene. Three people sit next to each other in class: two girls and a boy. Used to be close friends, now not so much.

No, this isn't the funny part yet. Let's say the guy sitting next to the window at the far left glances to his right by complete accident - it happens all the time, classes aren't all that captivating, really. The girl sitting in the middle immediately notices this and does the same, turning her head to avoid eye contact. But that means she has to face the other girl, who likewise notices what's happening and also looks aside.

Who is the worst off? The poor boy with the hat to the right of the trio, who suddenly thinks that everyone is staring at him for some reason.

Oh, you mean this isn't funny at all? I don't think it's funny either. But in the past few days, this has been the story of my life.

I have to say, avoiding each other like this is hard work. For example, we have this unspoken agreement of sorts about where one is allowed to spend their lunch break so they won't run into the others: Shizune locks herself up in the student council room, Misha goes to the cafeteria and I spend my voluntary exile in the school grounds. I tried to rooftop as well, but Emi and Rin usually eat their lunch there also, and I found that the doom cloud hanging over my head is contagious… if that metaphor even makes sense. Suffice to say that I didn't want to bother them with my problems.

I'd love to just brush the whole thing aside, to act like it doesn't matter. Graduation isn't that far off now, after all; I think I could manage until then even with my hands tied behind my back. Falling into depression over this would be an admittance of defeat, and I've spent too much time in Shizune's company to allow myself that luxury now. After constantly getting swamped by work in the Student Council, some free time is also more than welcome.

I can't do that though. Not all of us are coping so well with the situation, and even in the few moments when I can forget about everything else, that thought keeps nagging me in the back of my head. I guess it doesn't help that I feel responsible. Guilt can turn the best moments of ignorance sour.

Perhaps the most infuriating part is that I cannot confront the issue directly; I already blew my chances with that. But in a more roundabout way, maybe… just maybe… if I could only find the right moment…

Perhaps today is the day. My savior appears in the classroom door fifteen minutes before lunch break, like an angel with long, flowing golden hair… and a white cane.

Lilly knocks lightly on the door frame to make sure she gets the teacher's attention. There's really no need, as everyone in the room is looking at her by now.

"Please excuse me," she says in her trademark polite manner that is probably unmatched in the entire Yamaku student body. "I was asked by the principal to bring a member of the Student Council to her to discuss some urgent matters. Can one of them be excused from class?"

My eyes immediately dart towards Shizune, then move to Misha. I see indecision on both of their faces, with a healthy amount of confusion added on the former's part, since she could not understand a word of what was said. Misha's hands rest in her lap, unmoving. Perfect.

"I'll go." I rise from my seat before the two could somehow disagree, glancing at the teacher, who nods in reply.

I nearly drag Lilly out of the room, giving her my heartfelt thanks as we walk towards the principal's office. She's visibly confused by it, but decides not to press the subject with a small smile. I can't deny I love that part about her.

The visit itself isn't anything special; it was "urgent" only because the principal has to leave for a conference in Seoul and wanted to ask a few questions about the council election budget beforehand. I've been out of the loop regarding the Student Council recently, but that much I can still answer with ease.

The whole meeting is over in less than five minutes, after which I casually ask the principal if there exists a spare key to the council room, since the president will be busy in the afternoon and I forgot to get it from her. She asks around the office, and a minute later I am handed a single key on a small metal chain. I promise to return it in short order and leave with a polite bow.

So far so good.

* * *

_Music track: Stride_

I enter the council room a minute or two before the bell. It looks neat and tidy, even too much so. I note with a sigh that Shizune packed away everything into the drawers again. It seems so pointless; she has to work with some of that on a daily basis. But since as far as she's concerned she now has the room all for herself, I guess I don't have the right to complain.

The familiar melody fills the air throughout Yamaku, signaling the beginning of lunch break. It makes me slightly nervous, but I can't let that distract me right now, so I sit down and take a couple of deep breaths. I found that the exercise they've taught me to do if my heart starts acting up can also help a lot with my nerves being on edge in general.

…Since when have I become so utilitarian regarding my condition?

My thoughts are interrupted by a rattling noise coming from the door. Someone is trying to open the lock - in vain, of course, since it was already open to begin with.

A few moments later a confused-looking Shizune steps inside, her surprise growing by several orders of magnitude as she notices me sitting there. I quickly stand up, and start signing to her with the most confidence I can muster.

[Can I have a word with you?]

Shizune finally collects herself, and narrows her eyes at me. Maybe she'd even cross her arms, if that wouldn't prevent her from replying.

[What do you want?]

Another deep breath. I need to do this right.

[It's about Misha.]

I see her stern look waver for a moment, but I'm not sure in which direction. Was that doubt? Or maybe annoyance? Either way, she's waiting for me to continue, so that is what I will do.

[I thought about what you told me that morning, and I guess you have every reason to be angry with me. I betrayed your trust, in more ways than one. But this is just between you and me, not her. Misha still truly, honestly wants to be your friend. She doesn't care if you see life as a series of battles or not, and now she's feeling terrible that you're trying to push her away like this.]

There's more I want to tell her, but the mental effort needed to produce these sentences just the way I want them forces me to take a break for a moment. Shizune uses this very moment to interject.

[It doesn't matter.]

What…?

[This is for the best. For all three of us.]

I'm completely taken aback by her bluntness. It hits me especially hard since I know how sign language forces you to think your thoughts over before you present then - Shizune meant every word she said. Still, I make a decision to assume the opposite; that's the only possibility I can work with right now.

[Do you even realize what you're saying? How would this be for the best? We've spent days trying to keep Misha from giving up on us, and now you want to go against everything we did? How does that even make sense?]

As my hands form the words one after the other, I notice how it takes me a lot less effort than only moments before. This feels more natural, somehow.

And why not? With Shizune, an argument is probably the most natural form of discussion. Perhaps she's also aware of this fact; this realization makes me look at her previous words in a whole new light. Seeing how she also lacks an immediate retort for me fills me with hope, and I continue signing with renewed vigor.

[What's best for Misha isn't up to us to decide. Remember when I told you about the things I want to say to her when we can finally get her to listen? I wanted her to see the mistakes I made with my old group of friends, I wanted to tell her how I regret them… but the decision whether she wants to repeat them was still in her hands. She made her choice. She came back to us… to you. Don't throw that away.]

I slowly lower my arms. I think I said everything I wanted to say. Of course, I don't expect her to give in right away, even if she agrees with me on everything, which I doubt. This is Shizune we're talking about, she's going to latch on to the smallest mistake to pick my argument apart. But nonetheless, I get the feeling that we're on the right track.

She knows it's up to her to say something now. Her hands move about in the air for a while meaninglessly, as if searching for the right words to use; it's something I hear a lot in speech, but looks really unusual like this. Tearing my gaze away from her hands, I glance at her face. The fire in her eyes, which lights up every time she's challenged by something or someone, is noticeably missing.

That's odd.

Her expression hardens. I guess that means she finally got her thoughts together, but I still can't help but feel uneasy for some reason as her hands began to form words in my direction.

_Music track: Moment of Decision_

[Please leave.]

…

I simply stare at her, rooted to the spot.

That wasn't an argument. That wasn't… anything.

She seems to have interpreted my lack of reply as defiance, because she takes a resolute step forward and points at the door.

[Out!]

But… how…

Her expression now taken over by fury, Shizune grabs my arm. I don't remember her grip being this strong.

The next thing I know, I'm shoved through the door, which slams shut behind me.

I hear the lock turn. I think I left the spare key inside.

Waves of exasperation and disappointment run through my body, magnified by the fading sound of her footsteps from the other side.

…

What…

What on earth was that…?

* * *

I couldn't bring myself to care about the afternoon classes.

If a teacher sees me walking around the school corridors like this while everyone else is in class, I think I'll be in trouble, but right now I don't really care about that either.

I can't wrap my head around what happened. She made no effort to prove me wrong, just threw me out. She gave up on the argument. She gave up… just like last time.

The Shizune I know would never do something like that.

The Shizune I know… or the Shizune I think I know? I'm not so sure anymore.

Maybe… it's time to reconsider what I thought I understood about her, starting from the very beginning.

When I came to Yamaku, it was Shizune and Misha who first reached out to me. It was hard to tell them apart back then, since everything Shizune said or thought could only reach me through Misha. I had a vague idea about how the pink-haired girl with the drills was the more carefree one while the bespectacled president was more strict, and how well they worked together regardless to get what they wanted, but unsurprisingly, my understanding of the two was merely skin-deep. Still, I saw both of them as attractive in their own way, and I think on some level I knew from the beginning that they were trying to help me, so I found myself drawn to them.

Then came the festival. The fireworks lit the sky. Misha fell asleep, I was feeling depressed, and Shizune stood up, spreading her arms wide.

And I fell in love with an impression.

Still, that impression did not seem all that baseless, even in retrospect. I started taking sign language classes, and for the first time, I could talk to a girl who turned out to be a lot more likeable as a person than some would think at first glance. I felt that my understanding of her grew, and so did my feelings. At the end of Tanabata, I asked her to be my girlfriend.

Then something went wrong. The way Shizune acted during our summer trip left me with questions I cannot answer to this day, with the time I've spent with my hands tied to a chair only confounding things even further. That probably wasn't her intention, but it still turned out that way nonetheless.

How strange. It's not like I realized this problem only now, but it still feels like the first time I truly admitted its existence. I remember wanting to talk to Shizune about it, but then the election preparations came along, and… I don't know. It's as if she has some kind of reality-distortion field around her that makes you forget all your worries and just concentrate on the task at hand. On the next big thing. Tanabata, reports, student council elections… There's no time to deal with personal issues. And she doesn't notice, heck, no one really notices as they just keep piling up, until one day it all comes crashing down on our heads.

It sure did. And now that it did, there's no way I can ignore it any longer.

It's just like Misha said: she brings people close, then pushes them away. Shizune herself admitted as much to me recently, but that fact alone did not bring me any closer to understanding why. After all, this isn't like gravity, something we obviously take for granted. Things can't be so simple. I thought I understood her thought process better when I realized how she compartmentalizes life events, but that only serves to explain why people have trouble getting along with her. It doesn't say a thing about shutting people out when she so desires.

Ugh, now I'm starting to sound bitter.

But isn't that the same thing she's doing now? She might hide behind rants about how she screwed up and how this is the best for everyone, but the fact remains: she's shutting us all out, and doesn't give a damn about how we might feel about that. That's how things are going to be, period.

I thought she may have collapsed under the strain of possibly losing a friend, because she could not even trust me, her supposed boyfriend. The idea feels almost laughable now. Shizune collapsing? For that to be possible, she would need to rely on someone first. I'm no longer sure she really has. Ever.

You know what, Shizune? I think you're afraid. You're afraid of what might happen if you let people too close. They may see things you don't want them to see; I guess boyfriends are especially dangerous in this regard. You may have to treat them as equals rather than subordinates, if for no other reason then because you now need them as much as they need you. A life with less arguments and more compromises? Perish the thought.

That fear in her is stronger than anything. Even stronger than her self-esteem or competitive spirit, apparently.

…

…

…maybe I'm also afraid.

Regardless of everything, I know I made some mistakes, a couple of really bad ones too, but it turns out I don't really feel like facing them. I'd rather have someone else clean up my own mess. Thinking that I already blew my chances to make things right myself is all too easy.

Well, if this "discussion" with Shizune was good for something, it's that I know that is not going to happen. Shizune already threw in the towel. If I don't do it, no one will.

With a sigh, I glance out the large rectangular window next to me; from up here on the third floor, the school grounds look beautiful bathed in the afternoon sun. Beautiful, but also lonely. No one is out there yet, after all.

A voice in my head tells me to think this through before doing anything. Rushing things might just make the situation even worse. Then again, I thought really long and hard about what to say to Shizune, I even looked up a few words in the dictionary. And what did I accomplish?

Nothing. We're further apart than ever.

Shizune might be fine with it, but I'm not. I had enough of excuses, of pretending and running away. Time to face the music; if I screw up, then I screw up.

With these thoughts in mind, I head towards the exit as the last period ends and Yamaku comes to life around me.


	3. Chapter 3: Confession

**3. Confession **

_Music track: Nocturne_

I really should have thought this through, damn it.

What has gotten into me? I got all worked up, like a male lead in some drama series, deciding to move forward and "face my fate", whatever that may be.

And now? I'm standing in the lobby of the girl's dorm, looking like a complete idiot. I failed before I even left the starting line.

One of the many morals of the day: planning exists for a reason. Especially for me, since I'm just awfully bad at winging things, apparently. Then again, I might be even worse at planning things out…

The rising sense of dread makes my heartbeat pound in my ears. Maybe I should get out of here before I die of embarrassment. That would be ironic-

"Hello."

I spin around, and see Rin standing behind me. For a moment, I contemplate how long she could've been there, watching me fidget around nervously, and decide that I really don't want to know.

"Uh, hi." I clumsily wave at her.

"What are you doing here?"

Contrary to what her words may suggest, there's nothing suspicious or hostile in her tone. In fact, I don't think I can trace any kind of emotion in it, like she just asked me this because it seemed like the appropriate thing to do in such a situation.

The bigger problem is how to respond. I mean, it's not that I'm here to do anything bad, but… but… damn, I think I'm panicking now.

"You don't need to tell me if you don't want to," Rin reassures me, seeing my indecision. "But with that attitude, some people could think you're up to no good. Not that I think so. Or at least I don't think I think so. But others might. Just saying."

Her deadpan delivery actually convinces me that she's not making a joke at my expense. It shockingly manages to calm me down a bit, too.

"Actually, I was only looking for Misha," I admit to her.

Rin blinks. "She's not here. I mean in this room. Definitely not."

"Yeah, err… I know that."

Great, from the way she looks at me I think now we're both confused.

She gives it another go. "But if you know she's not here, shouldn't you be looking somewhere that isn't here? You've been standing here for a while now."

I have absolutely no defense against such flawless logic.

"Well… The thing is, I wanted to go to Misha's room, since she'll surely turn up there sooner or later, but…" Come on, just spit it out already. "…then I realized I have no idea where it is."

That's right, Rin. I came here to play the cool guy without having the faintest idea about where I'm going. Feel free to laugh at me, I won't mind. Okay, maybe I'll just hang myself, but it's no big deal.

Rin merely nods, her hazy, dark green eyes boring into me. If she were a mind reader, this is the point were I'd have to start worrying about all my closely guarded secrets. Her gaze unnerves me a little even so.

"Say… you're here pretty early, considering school just ended." A lame attempt, I know, but the silence was driving me crazy. "No clubs or anything planned for today, I take it?"

She responds with her usual shrug. "There's the art club, but I don't feel like going. There are, um… what's the word for hating each other's guts and throwing- ah, 'creative differences' between the art teacher and me right now."

I desperately hope the original meaning of "creative differences" applies here, instead of Rin's, well, unique interpretation of the term. It must be showing on my face too, since she goes on to clarify.

"Nomiya wanted to show my paintings in an exhibition. I didn't." Her eyes widen slightly, like she suddenly recalled something of great importance. "Three… one… two..."

I can hear a low whistling noise. Either the wind picked up outside, or the remains of my sanity are escaping through my ears. "Sorry, what?"

"The room number you were looking for. Three-one-two. It's the twelfth room on the third floor, you see." Her lips curve into a small smile. "That reminds me. Are you going to crawl on your knees and beg?"

Huh…?

"What… what makes you think that?"

Rin seems to be seriously considering the question. "I don't know. You had that kind of look on your face."

That kind of hurts.

"Really? Is the look on my face that bad?"

She gives a grave nod. "I think you better stay clear of mirrors for a while, at least until you get there. Might sap all your remaining strength." Gee, thanks for the encouragement. "If the numbers are confusing, you can also try looking at the name plates. If she didn't remove hers. I don't think she did."

I don't really understand how the numbers could get confu- Wait.

Name plates. _Name plates._

"Goddamn name plates!" I yell at the sky. Well, at the ceiling.

I turn around and dash towards the staircase. From the corner of my eye, I can see Rin gazing after me with a look of mild surprise on her face.

It's embarrassing, but it only occurs to me on the third floor that I owe her some thanks. I'll do that once I'm done. Thankfully, Rin is not easily offended.

So the situation had something of a double twist to it. If I would have kept going without thinking instead of starting to think about how I didn't think of anything, then I could have found Misha's room just by looking at the name plates, without thinking… I think.

I have no idea what went through my head just now. Rin is probably to blame.

As it turns out, very few rooms are occupied on the third floor, and Misha's room is indeed one of them. Room number and name plate both present and accounted for.

She's not here yet though, or at least no one answers my light knocks and the door appears to be locked. I figure she was in no hurry to come back to her room after school. Why would she? There are a gazillion better things to do…

Well, tough luck for me, because I'm not moving from this spot, no siree.

…

…

After an hour or so, my legs start to feel tired. I reluctantly slide down to the floor, with my back propped against the wall. It's not as uncomfortable as I thought.

…

…

Another hour passes. I think I'm now intimately familiar with every single smudge or crack on the walls around me. I swear, one of them is shaped just like a horse.

…

…

Yet another hour crawls by. This new method I thought up for assembling stalls for the festivals should speed up the process quite a bit. I'm sure Shizune will be happy to hear about… Oh. Never mind.

…

…

It's getting dark outside when I hear footsteps coming from the direction of the stairs. The details of my one-of-a-kind idea for writing a novel slip between the cracks of my mind, never to reemerge again. Or was it a dating sim? I already forgot. The footsteps finally reach the corridor, and the first thing I spot of the newcomer is her glowing pink hair. It's Misha alright.

I want to stand up, but my legs seem to have fallen asleep. Misha approaches me with even steps, grinning all the way. It's a welcome change after all the awkwardness in the classroom recently. Should I take that as a good sign?

"Hi, Hicchan~! Fancy meeting you here, hahaha!"

What to say, what to say… No, stop thinking, stop thinking.

"I was hoping to talk to you."

There. That wasn't so hard, was it?

Her eyebrows shot up as she fiddles with the lock. "Oh, you did?"

Then, after a second of delay, she steps inside and closes the door. I stare at it for seemingly everlasting minutes, but there's no sign of it opening anytime soon.

Man… that was rude.

No matter how I look at it, Misha just chose to ignore me. How should I react to that? Since I'm trying to follow the "no-thinking" policy for this occasion, I better go with the first thought that pops into my head.

"Crawl on your knees and beg."

No, sorry, that's just not happening. Next thought please.

…

Nothing. I'm not sure whether my thoughts bailed on me, feeling offended that I ignored my previous epiphany, or if that's really a genuine idea in itself, but I decide it's good enough for the time being.

So where was I with that novel or dating sim or whatever again?

I cannot keep myself occupied as well as before, however. My thoughts keep jumping back to the fact that Misha is merely a couple of feet away from me, on the other side of the wall; it is like she's an anchor that doesn't let my mind wander too far away.

Sometimes, I think I can catch a glimpse of the door opening - either that, or my eyes are playing tricks on me. No matter which is true, by the time I turn, it's closed already. I hear no sound, so it's more likely my imagination.

It's almost like I've already spent an eternity sitting here. I want to check how much time has actually passed, but I can no longer find the will to move my head or my arms. Both are starting to feel like lead, dragging me closer and closer to the ground.

It must be pretty late though. Most likely past curfew. There are members of the school staff patrolling the dorms at night; if they find me here, I'll be in one hell of a mess… serious consequences and all that…

I find an odd grin taking hold of my features.

Bring it on. I think I've become one with floor and the walls by now… they'd have to scrape me off from here.

With a huge… Shizune-shaped scraper…

Too bad for them she's… already decided… to… avoid… me…

…heh…

…

* * *

_Music track: Letting my Heart Speak_

Something startles me awake.

I open my eyes, and see nothing but a small line of light running across the floor and up the wall in front of me. For a moment, I don't even know where I am, before the events of the day come back to me in a flash.

Right. The lights in the dorm corridors don't have switches. They automatically turn on before dusk, and after midnight they turn off, unless triggered by the motion sensors peering down from the ceiling. I guess my position on the floor put me into a blind spot - although a person sleeping with his back against the wall likely doesn't move that much to begin with.

But if the lights are off… then that line is…

I slowly turn my head to the side, nagged by this absurd fear that if I turn too quickly, the light may disappear or turn out to be some illusion.

Thankfully, this time it really isn't my imagination: Misha's door is open, if only ever so slightly. I can't see anything of what's inside, the light in the room is simply too blinding compared to the near-complete darkness of the corridor.

I only hear her voice. It comes from right behind the door, slightly above me. "It's really late, Hicchan."

I manage to force my expression into something that resembles a smile, although it probably looks more like the sick bastard child of that and a yawn. "It sure is."

"Shouldn't you be going back to your room? They'll find you here, you know~." Her words sound like she's also suppressing a yawn herself. I suspect she did not get a minute of sleep so far; the thought makes me feel a bit guilty.

Not guilty enough to leave, though. "I said I'd like talk to you about something, didn't I?… Anyway, don't stay awake on my account; I'll just wait here as long as you want me to."

I really hope what I said was at least roughly coherent; it kind of rolled off my tongue before I realized what I was doing. In my current state, I don't think I can consider my words even if I tried.

A few silent seconds pass, and my dazed contemplation is put to a halt by light filling the corridor as the door slowly creaks open.

I guess I should take that as an invitation.

It takes me a few more moments to realize that I need to get up. My feet simply refuse to cooperate, and I find myself trying to pull my body up with just my arms while grasping the door frame for support. I nearly fall back down, but somehow manage to regain balance. With the same momentum, I stumble into the room.

Blinking profusely to adjust myself to the light, I let my gaze wander around. I don't think I had any kind of preconceptions about Misha's room, but even if I had, they most certainly would have been proven wrong.

'Multi-layered' is probably the best phrase to describe it. As base you have the same earth-toned walls, cupboards and bed sheets that can be found in my room, completely generic, lacking any kind of personality. But that's just the surface: looking more closely, you can see a few touches here and there that still change the atmosphere of the whole.

The books on her small shelf seem to be categorized by color rather than author or title, the covers forming a rainbow-like pattern together. There's a small, grumpy-looking teddy bear sitting in the corner of her bed, wearing eye glasses and a T-shirt with the text "Don't Mess With Me" written on it in fancy letters. It has an almost eerie resemblance to Shizune. The few pictures hanging from the walls are actually photographs, most likely of family and friends. On one of them, I spot Lilly and the aforementioned council president behind what seems to be a stall during a previous Tanabata festival, wearing waitress outfits.

Behind the two stands a girl with a tray in her hand. Her hair is long, its color brown, not pink, but the look on her face is unmistakable.

And then there's the pink alarm clock. I'd say that's the final touch, but it feels more like the final megaton punch. The clock face is decorated by dancing kittens. The hands sparkle. Sitting on her wooden bedstand, it looks so out of place in the entire room, you can't tear your eyes off of it.

Misha herself stands in the middle, still wearing her school uniform. Her eyes are cast down in resignation. It's obvious that I forced her into this. That does not bode well for my chances, but if I've been seriously considering those, I probably never would've dared to come here.

My legs still feel weird, so standing here for too long isn't likely to be a great idea. The side of the bed looks almost inviting right now.

I run my hand over the beige covers as I sit down, before glancing back to Misha. "Any good food in the cafeteria today?"

Good grief, that was so awfully random. She appears to think so too, if her bewildered look is any indication.

"…What?"

"You mean it wasn't good?" I insist. I'm not all that sure what I'm insisting on, but I still do.

Misha spends a moment either grieving for my sanity, or contemplating throwing me out of her room. I find myself hoping it's the former, as sad as the fact is.

"Hicchan~, you know the food in the cafeteria is terrible," she finally replies with a pout.

Phew.

"Terrible for you, maybe. It sure beats eating in the school grounds. I swear, on some days there's nothing but the grass there."

I wouldn't think there's anyone in the world who'd laugh at a joke that lame. But, after a second of wide-eyed staring, Misha does - and I feel grateful for that.

"Haha… Poor you, Hicchan."

If anyone has any idea about where this conversation is going, please let me know, okay? I'll just continue on in the meantime.

"Oh, so you think the sad tale of my suffering is funny? Heartless, that is what you are." I gesture dramatically towards the scowling teddy bear on the bed. "I think she agrees with me. Look at the disapproving glare she's sending your way right now."

Misha smiles at the stuffed animal briefly, and then sits down next to me. I guess with the rooms only having one chair each, it's to be expected, but it still feels really odd how we always end up in this position. Not that I want to remember the last time it happened… or the time before that, for that matter.

"Are you sure she's not angry at you too~?" she teases me.

"You think she might be?" I return the question as innocently as possible. She rewards me with another laugh.

Hey now. Misha's laugh as a reward? That's a novelty. I guess it used to be so abundant, I never noticed its true value? It's like diamond… or maybe more like oil… or uranium… or I should just stop with the parallels already.

"She has really, really many reasons to be grumpy, doesn't she?" Her tone has a hint of melancholy to it.

I have a hunch about what she's implying. The toy's resemblance to that certain bespectacled, often serious girl is likely no coincidence. I can't imagine it being a gift, but maybe Misha bought it herself for the same reason.

"Well, I think she's jumping to conclusions." I manage to say that with more confidence than I thought, just before ruining whatever atmosphere of authority I might have created by pointing a reprimanding finger at the toy. "Bad bear, bad."

Another chuckle. The cynic in me suspects Misha being as tired as she is probably contributes a lot to my present success as a comedian. "You're being really silly today, Hicchan."

No kidding. I could not think up so much stupidity in days. But when I try without paying attention, it just comes naturally for some reason. Lucky me…?

"I'm serious about this though. I tried to tell her today, too, I said all sorts of things that sounded right to me, but it didn't work out in the end. She just insists on being grumpy. But you know what?"

Her golden eyes are fixed me. I have her full attention now. "Yes?"

"Just because she's that way, it doesn't mean we have to be. Or, well, I don't want to see you like that, at least. It's just… sad. Seeing you sad, I mean. You, of all people."

How quickly eloquence left me when I finally want to make sense… it really is an unfair world.

Once more, with feeling. "Remember that small tour around the campus the two of us took at the end of lunch break? Just before the bell, you asked me something I didn't really feel like answering. Well…" Take a deep breath, and continue. "I think I can do that now. I… I think…" Don't stall. "I think I care about you. A whole lot. Back then, I didn't believe saying it like this would be wise; I'm still not sure to be honest, but maybe I'm simply fed up with worrying about stuff like that. I want you to know that I want to see you happy. Like you said, we're friends, so… seeing you sad is just depressing, doubly so when I feel it's my fault. Maybe I can't do any better than making brain-dead jokes about eating grass, but I don't care, I still want to do all I can to change that. Just… please… let me, okay?"

I have no idea when my hands found their way onto her shoulder, and I wince the moment I notice it. I risk a glance at her face, which confirms my fears: her expression is so uneasy, it nearly pains me to look.

Well, damn. No matter how roundabout the delivery was, we still ended up like last time, didn't we? Only it's a little worse, since we're in her room, and it may look like she has nowhere to run now.

But there's one thing _I_ can do. I can leave.

I let go of her and rise to my feet. Thank goodness they seem to be working okay now. It's amazing how awake I feel all of a sudden.

"Well, I guess that's all. It was probably stupid to barge in here just to tell you this, but I felt I had to. Pretty selfish of me I guess, huh? Anyway, I'm really sorry for keeping you awake. Good night."

I turn around and head towards the door. I notice only now that, shockingly enough, it was wide open during the whole conversation. What if… someone came by and… eh, who cares.

Considering that, aside of my general intent to make things right, I had no idea what to do when I came here, I think I can say that I actually accomplished… something. Time to quit while I'm ahead.

I reach for the handle as I step through the threshold… but the moment my fingers touch the metal surface, I'm forced to a halt.

_Music track: Breathlessly_

I can feel Misha's arms wrapping around my chest from behind, immobilizing me completely.

This is not good.

She didn't say anything. I don't even see her face, let alone her expression. Still, her body language seems to speak to me as clearly as any word, signed or spoken, can, and what it tells me makes me hugely uncomfortable.

This is exactly what I've been trying to avoid. No, it's exactly what both of us were trying to keep from happening again, and yet… those arms embracing me are as real as they can be.

No need to panic, it's okay. I can still avoid going down this road. I gave in to temptation the last time and regretted it - I have learned my lesson.

All I have to do is walk away. Take a couple of firm steps and shake her off my back. She'll be sad, no question about it, but doing this would be a mistake. It's for the best, for the both of us. For-

…Oh no. Oh, hell no. Not this.

God damnit. Fuck me and my high morals. I'm sounding just like Shizune. Even our words are the same.

I'm… just like…

Damn it… all…

I pull lightly at the handle, and in a motion that seems to take an eternity, the door swings to a close, stopping half an inch from my face.

I'm an idiot. But I don't think that can be helped. I'm also a hypocrite, but no matter what choice I made, that'd also be a given. I just told Misha I don't want to see her sad about… half a minute ago. Call me a brainless, cowardly fool, but going against my word like this would make my stomach turn.

So instead, I'm going to do something that'll probably leave her just as sad - but at least, for now, I still have a bit of false hope that it somehow won't. How convenient.

She is pulling me backwards now. I let her. It only takes a couple of uncertain steps, and we land less than gracefully on the bed.

I roll over on reflex, and end up on top of her.

This is the worst feeling of déjà vu ever. Even that damn bed cover is the same color as mine.

I search for her gaze, but as expected she closes her eyes instead, opting to simply lie there, completely passive. Again, it falls to me to take her clothes off. I have a bit of experience with that now, at least.

* * *

As time passes and our bodies become entangled on the bed sheets, I feel more and more like an actor in a play. The occasion is different, but the script and the role is the same. It's a role that I hate, but play willingly anyway; after all, I can't deny that part of me obviously enjoys this, the same way it enjoyed the last such occasion. My movements are not half-hearted. The pleasure I experience isn't fake. But it does feel, nonetheless, very-very empty.

And Misha? How does _she_ feel?…

I slow down somewhat, finally noticing one strange difference. Back then, I wished she would stop talking. The sadness in her voice filled me with guilt, and made me realize how foolish my choice had been.

Now, I find myself desperately hoping that she would say something. Tell me to stop, or to go on. Talk about the weather. Anything.

But she doesn't. Her eyes are closed tightly, and aside of a couple of soft moans, she stays completely silent. It's almost like she's concentrating… or…

…maybe… more like…

…enduring… what… I'm…

I stop completely. The air around me is cold, and my body feels like it's been frozen solid. That was the last straw.

For the longest while, it seems like the rest of the world has ground to a halt with me.

And then…

_Music track: Innocence_

I notice Misha looking at me. Not directly in the eye, but like she's searching something on my face - an answer to a question, perhaps. I haven't got the faintest idea about what kind of an expression I'm showing her right now, but I doubt it's anything encouraging, considering how hollow I feel on the inside.

I can feel her arms slide up from my back, entwining around my neck. The movement is oddly… delicate.

My head is being pulled downwards. I see Misha's face grow larger in my sphere of vision as she leans closer to me… and plants a soft kiss on my lips.

She once again rests her head on the bed as I stare at her, my eyes wide open. She has this tiniest… strangest… but still so very Misha-like smile on her face.

It's beautiful.

I can feel life returning to my limbs. The cold numbness is washed away by something warm… no, more like searing hot, scorching me from the inside. Her body, pressed tightly against my own, seems to burn with the same raging, unbearable flame, and yet I still yearn to get even closer to her.

Leaning down, I return her kiss with a passionate one of my own.

Her arms never leave my neck the entire way.


	4. Chapter 4: Evasive Maneuvers

**4. Evasive Maneuvers **

_Music track: Air Guitar_

I open the door just enough to allow myself a peek outside. The corridor looks to be empty, as far as I can see. No suspicious sounds either, the most prominent noise still being Misha's gentle snores coming from the direction of her bed. Yeah, she snores in her sleep. Not too loudly, though.

I take one last look at her sleeping, scantly clad form, and then tiptoe out of the room. I can consider myself lucky that something drove me out of bed so early; there is still a good hour before most students crawl out from under their blankets, giving me a fair chance to leave the girls' dorm unnoticed.

I sneak through the corridor - there isn't a soul around. As I begin descending the stairs, I hear the muffled sounds of conversation from the second floor, but they seem to come from such a distance that I don't think they'll be a problem. I still manage to catch a couple of words: one of the girls seems to be complaining rather loudly about her ex-boyfriend being a jerk.

Jerk ex-boyfriends, huh… Do I count as one? Shizune and I didn't even formally break up, although her decision to stay away from me means pretty much the same thing. As for being a jerk… I sure hope not. Then again… what about last night, for one? Did I make the right decision? Was it truly right for me to do what I did?

For a second, I feel something warm against my lips, then the sensation fades away, leaving behind no hint of its source. By the time it fades, though, my mouth is already curved into a smile. A small but meaningful one, the same kind I saw on Misha's face last night. There's no way this can be wrong. Or, heck, even if it is, I have no regrets - not anymore.

I continue heading down the stairs at a brisk pace, unnoticed by all.

My good luck lasts right until the building entrance.

Out of nowhere, I'm struck by a sense of imminent danger. Perhaps I heard some footsteps without paying conscious attention, or saw something approaching from the corner of my eye - either way, my instincts tell me to get out of the way right this instant.

My quick reaction saves me from taking a direct hit to the chest, but something or someone still slams violently into my arm, nearly knocking me off my feet. I hear a high-pitched yelp and something hitting the floor with a thud; seems like the perpetrator was indeed a person, and she did not have as much luck as I did. I turn my head, the feeling of terrible suspicion settling in.

Sadly, my suspicion proves to be right. Really, who else could it be?

_Music track: Parity_

"Hisao!" Emi exclaims from the floor as she tries to pick herself up. She looks distressed. "I'm so sorry, but this is an emergency! I got to hurry!"

I was one-hundred-percent sure I was busted for a second there, but she seems to have other pressing matters on her mind right now. In hopes of keeping it that way, I ask, "Why, what happened?"

The worry on her face seems to intensify. "Rin is in trouble!"

"Trouble…?" I echo blankly. When I spoke to her yesterday afternoon, she seemed to be just fine. Well, nothing out of the ordinary, anyway.

"She was walking around barefoot on the boys' dorm roof all night!" Emi declares.

Err, wait a minute… she did what…? Overall strangeness aside, the roof of our dorm isn't even remotely flat, and without arms, Rin probably can't even correct her balance if she slips… in other words, that's incredibly dangerous.

"Nearly all the night staff tried to get her down, but she ignored them! She's such an idiot!" If I didn't know better, I'd think Emi is on the verge of breaking out in tears. "They almost called the firemen, but then Rin came down on her own around midnight… I don't know what they're going to do with her! She might even get expelled from school!"

"W-Whoa…" That's all I manage to say.

The whole thing makes very little sense to me. Rin has a penchant for unusual… well, for unusual things in general, but she never struck me as the type who would do something so reckless just because she felt like it. Also, if she saw people yelling at her from the ground to come down, I think odds are she'd come down, if only to see what they could want from her so badly. Especially if the entire night staff, probably from both dorms even, came there to… to…

No way.

That's silly. Why am I even considering this?

Still… I can't think of any other even remotely realistic reason. The fact that no one found me during my prolonged stay in front of Misha's door last night feels too convenient to be a simple lucky coincidence. I was so tired by the end of it, I likely haven't noticed if someone was watching me sitting there in the corridor.

It was Rin. I don't know how, but she already had a rough idea of why I was there when I spoke with her. Later on, she saw that I would be in need of a diversion, and decided to help me. By nearly falling off that roof.

I'm… speechless.

"H-Hisao? What's with that weird face?" Emi's uncertain words snap me out of the state of mental shock.

I quickly shake my head. "It's… nothing. You were right, we need to hurry. Come on, let's go!"

I'm not sure what, but if there's anything I can do for Rin, I am going to use all my influence as an ex-student-council-member and senior of Yamaku to get her out of this mess. Which isn't saying much, I suppose. But it can't hurt to try, right?

Not waiting for Emi's response, I storm out of the building. Hopefully she'll catch up to me sooner or later, after all, she's…she's… err, she's the track champion. And I have a weak heart, and I'm completely out of form.

This was a horrible idea.

* * *

_Music track: Ah Eh I Oh You_

I guess I didn't do much in the end.

I just brought up the idea of talking to the nurse - to be honest, even that was something of an excuse so we can stop running for a minute before I faint. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on the point of view) Emi took the idea and ran with it. Literally.

By the time I caught up to her in the nurse's office, the two of them were already exchanging a series of demands, yells, attempts and counter-attempts at blackmail and surely a lot of other things as well - I don't know the rest because once I heard Emi scream "But you saw me naked anyway!" I decided it was better for everyone if I zoned out of the "conversation" and waited in the corridor instead.

I can only assume that Emi succeeded, because after a little while two disgruntled, sleepy-looking men appeared along with Rin, who walked between them like a convict who's being escorted to her cell. They entered the office before I could call out to her - and after ten minutes or so, the two men left by themselves.

It turns out, the "official medical opinion" on the case is the following: because of some side-effects related to her medication, Rin's been sleepwalking last night. The fact that she hasn't been taking any meds recently did not bother the nurse the slightest; as I've been told, Rin has been sick with a cold around early summer, and she's apparently been taking the medicine for that by the dozen.

"…When you overdose yourself like that, traces of the medication can persist in your body for months, or even years on end. You know, like a mugger disguised as a doctor lurking in the shadows, waiting for the right moment to strike." I listen to what hopefully is the last part of the nurse's explanation. His jokes are especially painful today, like they're part of some twisted scheme of revenge against us for pushing him into this. "Even a fraction of the dose Miss Tezuka took back then could turn someone into an effective zombie for the night. Given the symptoms, I say this theory is a perfect fit."

Theory, eh?

"That said," the nurse furrows his brows to stress his point, "the tests show that the medication has now completely cleared out of her system. If she does something as stupid as this again, it will be her own fault and no one else's, are we clear on that?"

"Yes-yes, very clear, crystal clear!" Emi nods vehemently while grinning from ear to ear. I can't really blame her. "This won't happen again, right Rin?"

"Probably." A tired mumble comes from the direction of the infirmary bed.

The nurse shakes his head in a similarly tired manner, and heads toward the door. "Let her rest here for a while, I'll be back soon. Some sleep would do her good, and besides, if I let her leave right now, some might think I was only covering for a bunch of unruly kids. We can't have that, now can we?"

His expression morphs into a grin that matches Emi's, like he's satisfied with getting the last word at least. A moment later, the door closes behind him.

We better leave soon as well if we don't want to be late for class. It just occurred to me that I'm still wearing the same set of clothes from yesterday.

First things first though.

I walk to the infirmary bed. Emi's right behind me, visibly unsure whether she should look relieved that everything turned out alright, or scold her friend for doing something so stupid. For now, she stays silent.

As for Rin herself, she might as well be already asleep. Her eyes are closed, and there's a rarely seen look of serenity on her face. When I'm about to change my mind and leave, though, her right eye pops open and focuses on me.

"Did it work?" she asks. Judging from her neutral tone, it should be obvious to me what she's referring to.

I guess this time it truly is. "Yeah, it did. Thanks. I really owe you one."

My heartfelt thank-you is met with a slightly hesitant shrug. "It was nothing, I guess… And how did it work when it worked? Begging or no begging?"

I smile in spite of myself. "Luckily, no. It wasn't necessary."

She nods once, looking satisfied with my answer, then closes her right eye… and a couple of seconds later she's really asleep. It was a strangely short, yet strangely fitting conversation.

With no reason to stay any longer, I say my goodbyes to a very confused-looking Emi and leave for the boys' dorm with a spring in my step.

That grin really is contagious this morning.


	5. Chapter 5: Step by Step

**5. Step by Step**

_Music track: Ease_

It's been several days since that eventful night in the girls' dorm.

The atmosphere in class improved drastically. I found that even the simple act of paying attention to the teacher becomes easier when you're not unconsciously fretting about glancing at the neighboring desk by mistake. Misha no longer notices it all the time, anyway, and even when she does, she simply grins at me. Things do seem to be back to normal.

Well, almost. Shizune still prefers to hole herself up in her mental ice castle behind her relentlessly glinting glasses, paying no heed to anything except what's on the blackboard, and leaving immediately when classes end. But I find myself paying less and less attention to that. It's like… would it sound heartless if I said I no longer really care?

Still, even ignoring that, things aren't completely normal. Misha and I sometimes talk a bit before, during or after classes, but it's nothing more than trivialities. We are trying to get things back to how they used to be, but we're nonetheless having clear difficulties regarding how to react to each other.

And for good reason, too. No matter how you look at it, our current relationship is messed up. Going back to being simple friends is not something that would work, that much seems obvious. At the same time, we're not officially dating, even though we had sex with each other twice already. We've been doing things out of impulse, and ended up in some sort of romantic limbo… except it feels more awkward than romantic.

Something needs to be done, and to me it would feel pathetic to wait for Misha to take the initiative. So I've decided: I'm going to ask her out on a date.

Of course, the decision itself is easy. Putting that thought into action is a different thing entirely.

Saturday's physics class is the same as always. If you at least comprehend the basics of what Mutou is talking about, chances are you'll understand his eccentric explanations eventually. If not, well, then you're doomed. Or maybe you'll fall asleep, and postpone facing your doom until the exams.

I take my eyes off the wildly gesticulating teacher for a moment to add the latest formula to my notes, and notice that a small, folded piece of paper somehow found its way onto my desk. I pick it up. A single look at the purplish pink letters dispels any questions I might have had about its origin, and I can't say its contents hold all too many shocks to me either.

_This is SOOOO BOOOOOORIIIIIING!_

Prognosis: Definitely doomed. Currently in denial.

I consider answering the message with nothing more than a wry smile, but thankfully I realize in time how stupid that would be. Misha is trying to start a conversation here. We don't have all too many of those, so I might as well make good use of it.

Forgetting about the formula completely, I hastily scribble a line of text on the paper and pass it back to her.

_I have a window right here if you want to escape. Maybe we could climb down the drain pipe._

"Wahaha~!" Misha's sudden laughter makes me glance nervously in Mutou's direction, but he seems to be so absorbed in some tangent that he doesn't even notice.

By the time I look back, the piece of paper is on my desk again.

_But! The teacher would be SO sad to see you jump out the window, Hicchan! _  
_You are his star pupil and all!_

Something about being called Mutou's "star pupil" again annoys me just enough to start thinking of an appropriately evil comeback, but my thoughts end up taking me in a surprisingly different direction.

Could this be a chance?

A rhetorical question, of course. I won't know until I find out. I mull on the exact wording for a minute, then send my reply through the air with a tiny, well-placed throw.

_Well-placed_, I said.

It misses. Damn. At least Misha noticed and picks it up from the floor.

_I guess there really is no escape right now, but how about doing something _  
_less boring this afternoon then? We'd have something to look forward to, at least._

She wastes no time writing down a short-looking reply. It's a bit odd; it's not like her to simply answer with yes or no to a yes-or-no question. I wonder what did she-

_You mean like a date? ^_^_

So much for subtlety. Oh well…

_Yeah, I suppose you can say that._

Good thing we're exchanging written messages; it would have been much harder for me to say this with the same nonchalance the text itself suggests.

…It does suggest nonchalance, right?

Well, too late to worry about that, here comes the reply.

_Okie dokie! Let's meet at the school gates after lunch!_

Great! Although we could just eat lunch together, you know…

Whatever, I don't care about this tiny detail all that much. We're going on a date, and that's what matters. It's a small step in the right direction.

I hope so, anyway.

The remainder of the class teaches me a good lesson about being sympathetic to Misha's plight: Mutou's explanation suddenly becomes hopelessly dull, boring and impossible to follow as I anxiously wait for the remaining minutes to pass by.

* * *

_Music track: Afternoon_

My plan is perfect. It cannot fail.

As luck would have it, I found a fellow student of similar height and build waiting at the entrance, with his back to the school gates. Even his hairstyle makes a passable impression of my own when viewed from behind. It won't fool Misha for long, of that I am sure, but the diversion will still give me plenty of time to spring my trap. I'll move out of my hiding place in the bushes, sneak up behind her, and cover her eyes with my-

Hey! I can't see!

"Guess who~?"

Curses! Foiled yet again!

"Misha?" I utter with a sigh of defeat.

"That's right~!" She goes to stand in front of me while I quickly jump out from beneath the bushes to keep this from becoming even more embarrassing. Although they're not exactly the same, her clothes closely remind me of what she wore during our summer trip, only with slightly softer colors. She must be quite fond of this style. "So~! Where are we going, Hicchan?"

"I was thinking that we could head into the city and see a movie. There's an American comedy about superheroes playing right now that looks interesting."

"Ooh! Sure, sure~! Sounds fun!"

Misha's enthusiastic reply does wonders to my confidence. I did not pick this movie merely because of its possible entertainment value, you see, but also because I know that she has an interest in stuff coming from the other side of the Pacific. Good to see I was indeed right.

The bus arrives not a minute later than we get to the stop, right on schedule. That's a relief, since the movie will start in 30 minutes, and we still have to buy our tickets before that. If I knew that today will be the day, I could have bought them in advance, but… well, I didn't know. It seems we are acting on impulse again. But hey, what could possibly go wrong?

Ugh… I suddenly get the feeling I really shouldn't have said that, even in an internal monologue.

And indeed, after not even five minutes have passed of our bus ride…

"Hey~…We're not moving," Misha states the obvious, glancing out the window from her seat.

I can't bear to look; what little I saw of the situation from here was bad enough already.

"Looks like hu~ge traffic jam, Hicchan!" my pink-haired companion reports, confirming my worst fears.

At this rate, we're not going to make it in time. That would be bad, as no film worth watching will start for at least another hour. I wish I had gotten more familiar with this city in the past few months, so maybe I could devise some sort of alternative route or shortcut, but the truth is, I've barely ever been here. We have no choice but to hope that the traffic jam will clear by itself soon enough.

…

It doesn't. It's been 15 minutes and we've barely inched forward five hundred meters at most.

Misha keeps staring out the window, although there's not much to see around here, or at least nothing that I can imagine occupying her interest for so long. Then again, what do I know about her interests, aside of a few generalities? She may simply like watching traffic jams for all I know. I'm almost tempted to ask her about this, actually, but I feel too nervous about missing the movie to try making conversation at the moment.

We're surely going to get moving any minute now. We just have to.

…

Aaaargh.

I stare at the screen of my phone in despair. I could have just glanced at my watch, but then I would've been forced to witness the last seconds slowly ticking away. My phone only displays the current hour and minute - but even that can no longer hide the fact that we're well and truly late.

What a great start this is for a date…

Oh, come on! I know I was tempting fate, but all I wanted was to see a stupid movie with my not-quite-girlfriend! Is that really too much to ask?

"What's wrong, Hicchan~?" Misha grins at me from the neighboring seat.

Oh. I never told her how short on time we were. Great.

"We just missed the movie," I inform her with a sour expression. "And all the other ones starting after this look terrible. Sorry, it's my fault, I should have asked that we meet a bit earlier."

"Ah~! So that's what it was!" Her mouth hangs slightly open, like I amazed her with something. I don't really follow how or why. "Hmmm~"

Suddenly, she beams at me and jumps from her seat. I reflexively make room for her so she can move from her spot from next to the bus window, although I'm not sure exactly what she's planning on doing.

"Come on! I have an idea~!" With that, she makes her way towards the driver. Some of the other passengers are giving us strange looks already, due in no small part to Misha's distinct lack of volume control, I assume.

_Music track: Generic Happy Music_

There's no choice; I also rise from my seat and follow after her.

"Excuse me~!" She actually went and waved at the driver. Oh man. "Could you please open the door~? We'd like to get off."

The man in question is middle-aged, with short, graying hair, a gruff expression, and an almost piercing gaze. Pretty much the anti-thesis of Misha.

This is not going to end well.

"Sorry, miss. We're in the middle of the road right now." His tone doesn't exactly make it sound like he's truly sorry.

I do see what he means though. The bus will turn right at the next intersection, so it's currently occupying the innermost lane. If we leave the vehicle, we'd have to pass through three other lanes full of cars to reach the sidewalk.

Misha appears to share none of his worries. "But~! All those cars aren't moving right now, are they~?"

That's also true. Traffic has completely ground to a halt. Of course, that doesn't mean things won't suddenly start moving again when… eh, who am I kidding?

"Sorry, miss." The driver uses the same words with the same tone and expression. "There are strict regulations in place concerning when the doors can be opened. There's nothing I can do."

Despite his firm refusal, Misha is not the least disheartened. "Sure you do~! Just press that teensy little button over there! I won't tell anyone, I promise~!"

"Sorry, miss. I simply cannot."

"Yes, you can~!"

"I cannot."

"You caaaan~!"

"I cannot."

"You caaaaaaan~!"

Considering how this exchange is starting to grate on my own nerves, I would rather not look back to see what the other passengers are thinking. Misha, on the other hand, is I'd dare to say almost enjoying herself.

"You can-you can-you can-you caaan~!" She ends her verbal onslaught with a giggle.

The driver does not respond anymore. I assume that since meeting Misha head-on only led to a stalemate, he's switched to the "I'm going to ignore you" approach instead.

Well, I don't think it's working, because she hasn't let up at all. "Hey~, Hicchan!"

Please don't get me involved. I beg you.

"I wanted to go to a karaoke bar… But~! If we're not going to get off the bus soon, I guess…"

No.

"...we…"

No-no-no.

"…can sing… "

No-no-no-no-_no_!

"…right here~! A one-two-three-four~! Eeeven if the dry wind confronts meeee, blowing intensivelyyyyy-!"

"ALRIGHT ALREADY!"

I don't know whether that was a shout or an agonized scream, but it sure came from the direction of the driver's seat.

Oh, and it seems the doors closest to us have opened.

"Thank you~! Wahaha!" Misha's laugh can also be taken for a declaration of triumph as she jumps off the bus.

I quickly follow before someone gets lynched. Mostly me, being guilty by association.

"So, um… you know of a karaoke bar nearby?" I ask Misha once we made it safely to the sidewalk. I'm afraid I didn't manage to hide the apprehension in my voice very well.

"Of course not, silly~!" She almost adds a laugh, but cuts herself off at the last moment and looks at me with a bit of worry on her face. "Oh, sorry Hicchan, I mean, we can look for one if you want to, but-"

"N-No, not at all! Actually, I hate them! Karaoke bars are my natural enemy!" Perhaps I am a bit too desperate to clear the misunderstanding, but on second thought, considering what is at stake, perhaps I'm not.

Misha grins again. "That's good, 'cause~… I can't really sing."

Yeah, I think I noticed.

"What was that great idea then?" I decide to swiftly change the subject. "Where would you like to go?"

"Hahaha! You'll see in a bit, Hicchan~! In a bit!" Perhaps to avoid any further inquiries, Misha speeds up her pace and turns abruptly left at the next corner. I struggle to catch up.

She really moves like she knows where she's going; this is surely not the first time she's been in this part of the city. It's something of a surprise: although Misha and Shizune walked around town a lot during our summer vacation trip, at Yamaku I rarely saw them leave the school premises, not counting the trips to the nearby convenience store or to the Shanghai. They certainly didn't often venture this far off.

Misha does seem to be full of surprises today. The scene on the bus was no less than shocking. I guess it's not the first time see her being so proactive, but this blatant disregard for any and all social norms to reach her goal… I think I'll conveniently blame that one on Shizune's bad influence. Now that it's just the two of us, I have the feeling there are still plenty of surprises in store for me.

I'm proven right sooner than I thought as I take a glimpse at the building Misha has stopped in front of.

_Music track: Hokabi_

An arcade.

Not a small one either: the five-story building appears to be completely dedicated to this single purpose. It looks rather fancy, with all the blinking neon decorations on the facade. They probably make an even better impression once it gets dark, but it's already next to impossible to walk past the place without glancing at least once in its direction.

"So~, what do you think, Hicchan~? Shall we go in?" Misha's bubbly voice is brimming with excitement, leaving little doubt that "yes" is the only available answer to her question. Not that I planned on objecting. I don't have any better ideas, after all, and we might just have some fun in there.

"Sure, why not."

"Yay-yay! Let's go~!" My date once again squarely refuses to act her age as she runs inside with her arms flailing in the air. Not wanting us to lose sight of each other should the place be too crowded, I quickly hurry after her.

That proves not to be an issue; there are only a few people nearby as I follow Misha through the first floor. I still have to force myself a bit to pay attention to where she's heading though, as something catches my eye nearly every other second. And we're still not far from the entrance, where only pachinko machines and crane games seem to be the main attraction.

It's no wonder the sights feel unusual, I've rarely been to arcades before. I'm one of those irresponsible people who will bring this proud national industry of ours to ruin, opting to stay home and play on a gaming console by myself or with friends instead. That said, now that I think about it, ever since my heart attack I didn't even touch my console. Bringing it with me to Yamaku was not an option, and my newfound passion for reading took up what little free time I had anyway.

I never felt I was missing out on anything, but still, this atmosphere is something to behold.

"So, do you come here often?" I state my question half-jokingly to Misha's back.

For a second I'm not sure she heard me, but then she whirls around and answers while walking backwards. "Hahaha! I used to come here a lot. But~! That was a long time ago, before I joined the Student Council. With Shicchan, we just came once or twice. I really missed this place, though~!"

I wonder if that was because Shizune is also not fond of arcades - or the other way around, she took these games too seriously to the point of ruining the fun. I suddenly try to remember an occasion when she was trying to compete against Misha instead of me, but aside of a vague mention of some game of dice, I can't seem to recall any. Loud-mouthed spectator or even co-conspirator, that her friend was rather often, but opponent, not really. Was that Shizune's conscious decision, or was it due to some well-rehearsed avoidance strategy on Misha's part?

Something tells me it was probably the latter. And avoiding this place was part of it, as much as Misha enjoyed being here otherwise…

Enough about Shizune. I'll just get myself worked up again about something I have no influence over.

"Do you have some favorite games we could t-" The question gets stuck in my throat as I notice Misha taking a sharp ninety-degrees turn and backing right into an escalator. However, she steps on without the slightest trouble. "…err, try?"

Does she really know the arcade so well, or was that simple fool's luck? I'll never know.

"That's where we're going right now~!" She nods enthusiastically as we ascend towards the second floor.

Out of the blue, I am assaulted by a swarm of mental images, each trying to guess what her favorite game might look like. It's hard to decide which one is more hilarious: Misha playing a shooting game with a huge gun in her hands, Misha doing a 20 hit combo in a fighting game while the pros merely watch in awe, or maybe Misha eagerly picking up weapon upgrades for her ship to defeat the latest wave of incoming aliens.

My imagination keeps me entertained to the point that I almost walk into her, not noticing that she had stopped. We're standing next to a machine with a screen rather unimpressive in size, two large speakers at the bottom, and some kind of raised metal platform in front of it to stand on. I glance warily at the title on top.

"Dance Dance Revolution"? Well, this certainly wasn't on my list.

Something tells me I should know about this game. It's surely famous. But no matter how I rack my brain, I can't recall a single thing concerning what it is about.

"Yay, it's still here~!" Misha exclaims, hopping on to the platform. "Come on, Hicchan, let's do a song together!"

Song? But it doesn't involve singing, right?

"I… I don't think I ever played a game like this before…"

"Hahaha, don't worry! I'll choose an easy one, I promise~!"

Curse you, traffic jam. This is all your fault.

With a sigh, I step onto the platform next to her. There seem to be some kind of blinking buttons or sensors below my feet, four to be exact, each corresponding to a different direction: up, down, left and right. I guess my job is to step on them - but when? How?

Meanwhile, Misha feeds the machine two 100 yen coins, and uses the arrows on her side of the platform to expertly navigate the song menu. I'm already impressed by her skill - although my enthusiasm drops slightly when I see her choosing some sugary pop piece that I normally wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. Some sacrifices have to be made, I suppose.

The song starts, and I stare intently at the screen, expecting some kind of instructions on what to do.

Instead, I see arrows scrolling upwards.

Oookay…

Well, if I can comprehend Mutou's classes, hopefully I can use the same scientific approach to figure this one out too. There seem to be two sets of scrolling arrows here, one on the left and one on the right side of the screen. The left is probably Misha's and the right is mine. But what are they for? I think it's reasonable to assume that they're trying to tell me which arrows on the platform to step on. If I listen to the song and try to match the beat with the scrolling arrows, I will surely be able to form a hypothesis on the exact timing required…

…or maybe I can just look at what Misha is doing.

Whoa, she's good.

I have a hard time tearing my gaze away from her skirt, which sways incessantly to the rhythm, to glance at the screen and then back - and everything becomes clear to me.

How could it escape my attention all this time? It was always right in front of me, but I never noticed: Misha's hips are incredibly sexy.

Well, okay, and I figured out how the game works too.

I concentrate on the left-pointing arrow closest to the top of the screen, and jump on the left sensor the moment it moves into what I believe is the correct position. The game rewards me with a "GREAT" message, celebrating my success - which did not come a moment too soon, as the bar that seems to represent my life points was getting dangerously short.

As the song moves into the second verse, I am slowly figuring out how to position myself on the platform to reach all the arrows in time. The singer's high-pitched voice, normally annoying enough to give me a headache, is beginning to have something of a hypnotic effect on me, as my steps try to match the song's rhythm.

Left-right-up-down, left-right-up-down, left-right-left-down, left-right-up-down…

Hey… no more arrows?

It takes me a second to realize that the song is over. The game presents us the results: unsurprisingly, my score is abysmal compared to Misha's, but this being my first try I don't mind at all.

"See~? I knew you'd get it, Hicchan!" She encourages me with a grin. "You can pick the next song, okay~?"

"You got it. Let's see if I can level the playing field a little." I search my pocket for a couple of 100 yen coins, and after throwing them in, I try browsing the song list the way Misha did earlier.

Ah, right. This one. This is a great rock song, I will even admit to singing the chorus once or twice in the shower. Let's see how Miss Dancing Queen can move to this!

Misha's eyes widen slightly at my selection. "Ooh, you're really brave, Hicchan~! Wahahaha!"

Brave? I… don't like the sound of that.

Still, I came this far, it'd look silly to back out now. Let's do this.

* * *

…

The arrows.

The arrows are coming for me.

They're everywhere.

Help…!

How can this game move so fast?! This is insane!

Left-left-up, left-left-up, left-up-right-down-ri- I don't have three feet, damn it!

Must not panic. Must not panic. I'll just skip the next four arrows, and continue with the combination that comes after, that looks easy enough. Really easy. Piece of cake.

Piece of-

"Shieeagh!"

With a most bizarre yell, not unlike a scream of death, I fall down onto the platform, having successfully tripped myself with my own foot. I manage to grab onto the safety rail at the last moment to avoid hitting my head into the steel floor as well, but it was a really close call.

I pant heavily, my heartbeat drumming in my ears. It sounds slightly erratic. Maybe this song, or game in general wasn't such a great idea after all.

Either way, I better get back on my fee-

_Music track: Generic Happy Music_

"Eeeek!"

A high-pitched yelp hits the air, and something soft but heavy pushes me back to the ground before I can barely start getting up. I can't see a thing, suddenly blinded by pink hair - but that's more than enough for me to guess what's going on.

Misha leans over me with a look of worry on her face. "Hicchan, are you okay? I'm so sorry, I…" she giggles nervously, "…I may be a little rusty. Heheh."

"Yeah, me too." Okay, I'm not rusty, just plain bad. But this sounds much better, doesn't it?

Suddenly conscious of the intimate distance between us, Misha tries to pull away, but I don't let her escape: driven by a sudden impulse, I quickly close the gap and claim a small consolation price from her lips.

Her surprised expression, with that blush… I think I'd even fall on my face three more times for this.

Thankfully though, I don't have to. "Maybe we should pick a game with, err… less footwork next?" I ask.

My question succeeds in breaking Misha out of her dazed state, and her face lights up. "Hahaha, okay-okay~! I know just the thing!"

I merely blink and she's already on her feet, running off somewhere. Good thing her destination isn't far away, as it'd be next to impossible for me to repeat the same feat.

I manage to get myself into a sitting position and throw a glance in her direction. Misha is waving at me from next to a very similar machine, with a smaller screen, prominent speakers, but instead of a steel platform with arrows, sticking out of it in front is… a pair of taiko drums?

I can't help but smile as I pull myself up with some help from the safety rail. This is shaping up to be a pretty long afternoon, but I find myself looking forward to it all the same. Being with Misha on a date is similar to working in the Student Council: tiring, sometimes troublesome, but ultimately fun - with a little less paperwork and a lot more fun involved in this case.

I could get used to this.

* * *

_Music track: Raindrops and Puddles_

By the time we leave the arcade, the sun already hangs low in the sky. We are hit by a slightly chilly autumn breeze as the automatic doors close behind us; I would offer my coat to Misha if I was wearing one, but thankfully she doesn't seem to be cold. Regardless, the dark clouds gathering above warn us not to waste a lot more time before returning to Yamaku, so we make our way along the sidewalk at a quick pace.

"Had a good time?" I ask, searching for her gaze with a smile, which she eagerly returns.

"I did~!" She pumps a fist into the air for emphasis.

"Ah, okay, great to hear. You just fell silent for a minute there."

Around Misha, noise and buzzing activity seems to be the norm. Silence, even if soothing to my ears right now after all that racket, tends to feel strange, unfitting. This time is no different.

"Oh, hahaha, sorry Hicchan, I'm just tired. A little bit." She apologizes, although there's absolutely nothing in the situation worth apologizing for. "You know how I get sleepy really, really quickly when it gets dark."

As if to prove her point, she puts a hand to her mouth to cover a small yawn. For some reason I'm not convinced, but I hesitate to push the matter further, not wanting to dampen the good mood.

My hesitation proves to be pointless, as the first few drops of rain falling from the sky do a fine job at dampening everything anyway. We make it to the bus stop just in time to take refuge under the small shelter before it really begins to pour. Sitting down on the wooden bench, we stare at the rain as its noise fills the gap our stalled conversation left behind.

Minutes have passed already when the fact slowly eases into my brain that I'm not only listening to the rain anymore.

"…Hicchan?"

"Hmm?" is all I can utter in reply, as my body chooses this moment to demonstrate how contagious a yawn can be.

Misha turns her head slightly, but does not face me completely. "Do you… do you think we're being selfish?…"

She gives me no context, but sadly I don't need any to understand her.

"_No_." The sternness of my reply surprises even me. It's true: to be selfish, we should have a better alternative at hand that we are not willing to choose, and Shizune gave us no such thing. But what made me so upset about that all of a sudden? I scramble to cover my outburst with a question. "Why, what makes you think that?"

"I don't know. I've just been… wondering." Misha is signing everything she says again, a habit she was neglecting during the past few days. It's obvious now that she is more worried than tired, as I suspected. "I thought about what Shicchan could be doing right now. We're having fun out here, but she might still be in the council room, working all by herself… I told you about it, right? How I used to wish I could see Shicchan like that, all alone, so I could be there for her and she might like me because of it… But! I can no longer do that, even as a friend. It was a really stupid wish, Hicchan."

I want to say something to her, something positive or encouraging, but my mind draws a blank. I knew something was wrong, but her sudden change of mood still caught me by surprise.

No, there's more to it than that. Her words made me realize how deeply Misha still cares about Shizune. Even though Shizune rejected her feelings back then. Even though she no longer wants to have her around now.

What's terrible is that I've also realized I can't say the same. When I'm reminded of Shizune, I immediately want to think about something else, because all I feel is a mixture of frustration and anger rising within me. That is why I try to ignore her, claiming that I no longer give a damn. That is why I nearly snapped at Misha earlier - and even though I don't want to feel this way, struggling against it only serves to increase my frustration even further. I know it's not right, but that's just how it is.

Still, I have to say something. We were doing so well, I can't let our date end on a sour note like this.

"I don't think wanting to be there for someone is selfish. Or stupid, for that matter," I manage to reply.

A nice try, but it's doubtful that I even convinced myself with that line. And from the looks of it, I only made Misha feel even more down. Terrific.

"But it can be. I can do stupid stuff like that, Hicchan. I don't think things through enough, maybe. So… sometimes I can be selfish without even noticing," she replies, effortlessly brushing my argument aside. "I… Did you know Shicchan wasn't alone when I joined the Student Council? Lilly was there with her too."

I remember her mentioning this before, yeah. But now that I actually consider the thought, it leaves me utterly confused. How could they-

"They don't need an interpreter, Hicchan." Misha drops the bomb. "They have their own way of talking to each other, they just don't want to use it anymore. They don't feel close enough for that now, I guess."

Not close enough? I don't think I understand…

"But! When Shicchan found out I was taking sign language classes, she kept telling me that I should do it anyway. She said it would help me practice, and that it's more… 'efficient' like that." Misha seems almost annoyed at the word. "She is wrong, though."

She trails off for a while, leaving me time to guess what she meant by that. A memory flashes through my mind for some reason, of a lunch break I've spent in Lilly's company recently. What did she say again…?

_"…every day consisted of having Shizune stomp around, using Misha as a megaphone…"_

Of course, it figures she would call that "efficient". Shizune knows how loudness can force people to pay attention, that's why she developed that ear-splitting finger snap. But relying on an interpreter for that benefited only her, and not anyone trying to talk to her, since the effect doesn't work the other way around. You can't shout at people using sign language - well, you can, sort of, but they can simply turn around and ignore you anyway.

"Shicchan didn't know how dangerous that was," Misha speaks up again, as if continuing my own thoughts. "Suddenly, there was something like a wall between Lilly and her. I wasn't very good at signing yet, so I made a lot of mistakes, caused a lot of misunderstandings… But! That's not the worst part, you know. The worst part is that I may have made some of those mistakes on purpose. After all… how could I be there for Shicchan… how could I be the one to help her, if she is not alone?"

I simply stare at her in stunned silence. Something within me is slowly but surely edging towards breaking point.

"I told you I don't want to hate people, Hicchan. Lilly was always nice to me, too. Maybe a bit distant, but nice. But… even if I didn't want to do it, that doesn't mean I haven't. I loved Shicchan so much… I think I'd have done anything to be together with her. So… I probably did. That's how selfish I can be." She hangs her head. "But now you're here with me… and it feels like I even abandoned Shicchan in the end, despite everything. I know she's the one who doesn't want to talk to us, but… it still feels like…"

"Stop it…" My voice is more harried than I want it to be. I meant to embrace her, but my movement comes off more like I'm clinging to her, grabbing her to keep her from running away. "That's enough…! Why are we even talking about this…? What does it matter…?"

"It… It matters to me, Hicchan…" Misha sounds confused, even defensive.

I can't keep myself from yelling any longer. "Well, for me it doesn't! You can try feeding me this bullshit about being some self-centered monster all you want, but I'm not buying it! I don't care about what you did!… Maybe you're right, maybe we really are being selfish - and so what?! Shizune is just as bad, if not worse! Why are you trying to take her side, even now?! She doesn't want you to!…"

I finally regain enough self-control to put an end to my barely coherent tirade, although the damage is already done. I'm deeply ashamed, but my still-overflowing anger doesn't let it show.

Damn you, Shizune. Why can't you leave me alone?! Why do I have to feel more and more bitter each and every time I think about you?! Why can't I cut you off as easily as you did to me?! _Why?!_

"It's because of love, Hicchan." Misha is looking deep into my eyes, and there's a kind of defiance in her gaze that scares me. "I worry about Shicchan because I love her. And… I can't be super mad at you right now, even if you're acting like a jerk, because… I think I like you too."

She leans close to me on the bench, pushing herself deeper into my embrace. My anger seems to melt at her touch; it escapes me so quickly that it leaves something of a gaping hole behind, a vacuum that I don't know what to fill up with. Shame will just have to do for now.

For the following minute, I completely forget about the existence of the city and the rain. All I hear is the sound of Misha's even breaths, so very close to my chest.

"It's a bit funny. When I think of it like that," she finally whispers, "maybe being selfish around you, around someone I really, really like is just … how Lilly would say… par for the course? Ha… Hehe… Hahahaha…"

What starts off as a small giggle gradually escalates into a full-fledged Misha-style laughter. And it gets even louder: by the time I realize, I'm already laughing myself silly along with her like I've lost my mind.

But… it truly is funny. Why am I so fixated on the effect Shizune has on me? That's nothing. The person who can turn me upside down for real is right here in my arms.

Just look at what she's doing to me right now.

"Do you want to do something really stupid?" I ask her playfully.

"Wahahaha! Maybe~," she answers with a matching expression.

See?

As her grin widens, so does mine, and vice versa. It's a runaway chain reaction. "Then follow me!"

Grabbing her hand, I hop to my feet and lead Misha out into the rain. We end up jogging lightly through the city, soaked from head to toe, giggling all the way. Even my heart keeps up with the pace somehow. I can't help but blame that oddity on Misha too.

On the pink-haired bubbly girl who can make miracles happen.


	6. Chapter 6: Warm

**6. Warm**

_Music track: Fripperies_

Totally worth it.

That's what I'm trying to tell myself.

And why not, it really was great. Running through the rain with Misha, hand in hand. Forgetting all my problems for a little while and just experiencing the moment. And still…

…it's hard to stay positive about anything when you're lying in bed, the covers are pulled up to your eyes and your head feels like an over-inflated balloon, ready to pop any second.

I wish I had a book to read, but ever since I no longer had student council work to fill up my day, I used my newfound free time to go through everything I got from the library. It was sloppy of me not to visit Yuuko earlier to get some new reading material.

Ugh… And now it's like someone is pounding on my skull with a sledgehammer… ow…

No, wait, that was actually a knock on the door.

"Come in…" I utter in a weak voice. I'm not sure I am in the condition to entertain visitors, but explaining to them that I'm not feeling too well right now would require an effort I am even less willing to make. Whoever it is, he'll probably realize the situation just by looking at me, will quickly apologize in a whisper and leave me to my suffering. That's what I'm hoping for, anyway.

On second thought, that didn't sound all too right.

"Hicchan~! Where have you beeeen~?" Misha explodes into the room like the embodiment of cheer, cruelly shattering my hopes. Oh, my poor, poor ears. "You weren't in class the whole day~! Skipping school like that isn't nice, you know~! Wahahaha!… Um… Hicchan?" She glances around the room. "Are you in here~?"

Not only did she fail to take note of my heart-rending condition, she didn't even notice me at all…! How is that physically possible? My room is no conference hall, for crying out loud…

…Don't tell me it's the bed covers. I push them away from my face and murmur in a hoarse voice that would fit well into any kind of zombie movie, "I'm right here."

Misha whirls around, staring at me like I just teleported into my bed out of nowhere. "Oh~! Hicchan, what happened? Are you sick?"

What an amazing discovery. Give her the Nobel Prize right this instant.

"I caught a cold yesterday," I drone the very same explanation I was hoping to avoid. "My nose is not running at least, but my head hurts and I have a slight fever too. The nurse told me to stay in bed for a day or two."

"Ah~, so that's what happened! Hmm~, yup, I kinda knew you're probably sick." Liar. "So~! I copied my notes from today for you~! Here!"

She holds up a couple of photocopied pages in her left hand. It's a suspiciously small stack considering the number of classes we had today, but I suppose it's still better than having no notes at all.

"Thanks." I manage an honest smile. "Could you please leave it on my desk?"

"Sure~!" She walks across the room, puts the papers down, and… and… now she'll turn around and leave, right?

Right?

…No such luck.

_Music track: Comfort_

Instead, I see Misha kneel down before my bed with her arms on the mattress. She's rests her head on them, gazing at me roughly five inches from my face.

And just when I think I'm about to become extremely annoyed by that… I'm actually not. What in the world?

"The cold is contagious, you know. You'll get sick too like this." I cannot sound nearly as serious as intended.

She grins and lightly pokes my nose. "I'm not worried~."

"Not yet. But maybe I'll sneeze. Very suddenly."

"Hahaha!" Her hand moves to my face, stroking my cheek. It's pleasantly warm. "You wouldn't do that, Hicchan."

I try to look offended. "No?"

"Nope~! You're not that mean kind of person." Her smile softens a bit. "Even if, sometimes, you really try to be. I can see through that though~."

I shift uncomfortably on the bed, shying away from her touch. "Look, if you're talking about what I said yesterday… I'm really sorry. I didn't-"

"No, that's not it, Hicchan." She leans closer to me, not letting me get away. "But~! It doesn't matter right now, because~ I didn't come to make you all worried." The distance between us is practically nonexistent by now, I can even feel her breath on my face as she speaks. "Hicchan… You said you want to see me happy, right~?"

I'm no longer able to open my mouth at this point, so I merely nod.

"Right~! Well~! Me too~! I want to see you happy too, so~!" While her up-and-down tone is nothing unusual, when taken to such extremes it seems to betray slight nervousness on her part. "I'm going to make you feel a bit better~! Okay~?"

I don't think I can even incline my head anymore - Misha, however, does not wait for an answer, but instead locks our lips in a brief, hesitant kiss. This shyness seems to be recurring element whenever she's taking the initiative like this, as if she's not sure whether she's doing it right or wrong.

Well, as far as I'm concerned, she's doing superbly, as her kiss is no less than intoxicating.

I'd immediately go back for more, but Misha, determined to stay in charge, gets up and hops onto the bed, raising the covers for a second to slide under them. There isn't much room like this, so bumping into each other is more or less inevitable. Her school uniform feels cool against me through my pajamas, while her bare legs below her skirt feel hot, even though I'm supposed to be having a fever.

"This is nice~!" she giggles, snuggling up against me. "It's getting really, really cold outside, I almost froze on my way here~!"

With that, she graciously allows me another taste of her lips. I reach forward, my left hand gently caressing the line of her neck, while the other slides down her waist, reaching slightly under her skirt.

Strange. It's like I'm holding a beautiful, precious teacup full of boiling hot tea. Her skin simply shouldn't feel this warm; my body temperature is higher than normal, so others should feel considerably colder to the touch… unless…

"Misha, are you okay?" I breathe, breaking the kiss. "Your body is incredibly hot."

She laughs again in a shy manner that thoroughly confuses me. "Heehee, thank you~."

"Huh? Oh, sorry, that's not what I meant…" Argh, stupid! "Err, no, I mean, yes, y-you look stunning, but… you're also much too warm. Aren't you having a fever too?"

If my words managed to make her worry, she's hiding it amazingly well.

"Hmm~, who knows~?" Her efforts to inch closer and closer resulted in her basically lying on top of me by now, and she considers my question while drawing circular patterns on my forehead with her finger. "I was feeling a bit woozy in class today, but it was no biggie~! I'm made of tougher stuff than that, ahahaha~!"

Knew it. She also caught the cold.

"Hey, this is no joke. You should be resting if you're sick."

"I~ am~! Right~ here~!" she declares, and pushes herself up a bit with one of her hands previously resting on my shoulders, while the other one wanders downwards and reaches under my pajama top. Her movements still seem nervous, but also playful and determined at the same time. "Plus~! Some light exercise can be good, you know~! Builds up sweat, brings the fever down, everyone wins~! Right? Right~!"

I have the feeling the nurse may want to disagree with this particular piece of medical adviiiii-

Waah, that tickles! "…C-Cut it out!"

"I didn't know you were so ticklish, Hicchan~!" Despite my protests, Misha's hand continues to explore the contents of my pajama shirt. "I better remember that, it could come in handy later, wahahaha~!"

There is no reasoning with her, is there?

"Listen, I don't-"

"Hicchan… please…" She cuts me off. A pleading note appears in her voice, hidden behind her usual grin. "Let me do this… Give me a chance, okay?"

Wait, what?

Give her a… chance…? For what?

What does she want to prove? That she wants me as much as I want her? That she wasn't simply letting me have my way with her until now? I… I already know that… She has nothing to prove to me, this is-

Okay, hold it. Time out.

Just what am I doing? She came here on her own accord, and I am rejecting her why? Who am I, really? Her daddy? No. Her legal guardian? No. The little angel who sits on her shoulder and tells her what's the right thing to do? I'd do a terrible job at that even if I tried.

I should start listening to my own advice already: Misha can decide what's best for her on her own. I am free to offer my opinion, but she's also free to ignore it.

She's not stupid or helpless. She's the girl I love.

It's about time I get my priorities straight. From here on, if she feels doubt or guilt, I will listen to her. If she makes a decision, I will support her. And if she wants to make love to me while both of us are sick as hell, well, more power to her, because man, did she manage to turn me on with that!

I look at her face again; Misha is gazing back at me expectantly. Far be it from me to let her down.

"Well, alright then." I close my eyes and try my best to relax. "I guess I have no choice but to entrust myself to you. Please take good care of me. I'm fragile, you know."

I have no idea where the last part came from, but I kind of like it. Heh.

I think Misha likes it too. Why? Here's why:

"Wahahahahahahaha~! Hicchan, you're so… fragile~! Hahaha! Hahahaha! Hehehehehahahaha~!"

As she is shaking with laughter, I can feel the nervousness in her voice subside a bit. Finally, she leans down and kisses me; slowly, carefully, but also passionately this time.

Holding each other close under the blanket, we let our feelings carry us away.

_Music track: -_


	7. Chapter 7: Shock

**7. Shock**

_Nyan-nyan-nyanyan-nyanyanyanyan-nyan-nyan, nyan-nyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanya, nyan-nyan-nyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyan -nyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyan-nyan-nyan…_

Not this again…

_…nyan-nyan-nyanyan-nyanyanyanyan-nyan-nyan, nyan-nyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanya, nyan-nyan-nyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyan -nyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyan-nyan-nyan…_

Please… make it stop…

_…nyan-nyanyanyan-nyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanya-ny an-nyan-nyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanya, nyan-nyanyanyan-nyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanya-nya n-nyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyan-nyan…_

I can't take it anymore…!

_…nyan-nyanyanyan-nyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanya-ny an-nyan-nyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanya, nyan-nyanyanyan-nyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanya-nya n-nyanyanya-_

…Finally.

Thanks to some kind soul, the torture is over.

I don't really know the legal background of this, but I do wish the original author of the music in that Youtube video would sue the manufacturers of this alarm clock into oblivion. That's the least they'd deserve.

I wearily open my eyes and sit up in bed, trying to recover from the trauma.

"Rise and shine, Hicchan~!"

_Music track: Lullaby of Open Eyes_

Misha is grinning next to me, covering her otherwise completely unclothed self with the blanket, her other hand touching the pink monstrosity on the bedstand - it seems I have her to thank for saving me.

I don't actually put my gratitude into words though, as they would sound half-hearted; after all, this is her room and her accursed alarm clock. How can she bear waking up to this nightmarish noise every single morning, I have no idea.

But since now I spend roughly every second night here, maybe it'd be wise to find out. Or invest in some earplugs.

A lot changed in the past two weeks: I think I can safely say that the relationship between Misha and I has reached "official" status. Although, well… I can't really say that it has become any less physical. Sure, we do stuff together, go on dates and parfait-hunting trips, pretty much made the arcade our secret base of operations by now - but we spend even more time in bed, and I'm not even counting the three days when we've been nursing that cold after our little jog through the city in the rain. In fact, we're starting to make a habit of spending almost every night together, alternating between her room and mine.

That's not to say that I mind. Heck, these nights tend to be nothing short of incredible. It just feels a bit unusual. Maybe.

Because I'm such a relationship expert, of course. Anyhow…

"I'm rising, I'm rising…" I climb out of bed with a grumble, and quickly start getting dressed in my clothes from yesterday. The alarm was set early so I can safely go back to my room and finish my morning preparations there before school. "Shining might be a bit too much to ask after a reveille like that, though… Say, can I buy you a new clock for your birthday?"

And then brutally murder this one with a screwdriver and a huge mallet… or give it to Kenji, saying that it contains some secret feminist documents. Mwahahaha.

"Wahahaha!" Misha joins my inner diabolical laughter with a bright one of her own. "But~! I like this clock very much. It's funny."

Damn. I knew you'd say that.

I reach down for my shirt, lying haphazardly on the floor, but a pair of arms pull me back to sit on the bed again instead. Misha hugs my neck from behind, her bare chest touching my back as she kisses me on the cheek.

"Is this a better kind of reveille, Hicchan~?" she asks mischievously.

I close my eyes, letting myself be absorbed into the warmth of her embrace. "I'm shining already."

"Hahaha~!…" She rests her head against mine. The position seems comfortable enough for the both of us that we might actually drift back to sleep if we're not careful. "Thank you."

"…For what?"

As I suspected, her tone is already slightly drowsy as she answers, "For sticking around." An affectionate squeeze. "For staying here. With me."

I chuckle lightly. I don't remember laughing so much out loud before; Misha is seriously starting to rub off on me. "Oh come on, you're stealing all the good lines I could woo you with. I'm going to end up depressed."

She doesn't say anything in reply, and I hear her breaths deepen as much of her body weight slumps against me.

Uh-oh, she's really going to fall asleep.

My eyes flutter open and I shake my shoulders the tiniest bit. "Hey, Misha, don't pass out on me. We're going to miss first period like this."

"You know, Hicchan…" Her voice sounds just as I utter the last word. Maybe she wasn't dozing off after all?

"Hmm? What is it?"

"When you came here that night… when you waited before my door for hours… you looked really, really strong." Her words have a dreamy quality to them that makes me reconsider once again whether she's actually talking in her sleep or not.

Either way, I can't disagree more. Me, strong? I had no idea what I was doing. If it weren't for Rin, I might have given up before even finding her room. I was simply going with the flow, and can only thank the heavens or maybe blind luck that things turned out the way they did.

Then again, according to Misha, luck can also be a skill…

"Now, with you… I think I can be strong like that too," she says, and I can feel the smile in her voice even without turning my head.

I decide to do that anyway. Misha's eyes are open, not at all asleep, showing a determination that instantly wins me over.

"For Shizune?" I ask. "You think you can change her mind?"

Even though the council president keeps haunting our conversations like a ghost, seeing Misha's expression, this time I'm not bothered by it - a fact that fills me with inexplicable relief.

"Yup!" She raises her head a little above my shoulder and nods eagerly. "It might take a super long while, but I think I can do it! Just watch me today, Hicchan~! I'm going to go in there with guns blazing! Wahahaha~!"

She abruptly lets go, blasts off the bed, and starts rummaging through the closet for some piece of clothing or undergarment in all her naked glory. With some effort, I manage to tear my gaze away and start putting on my shirt, while my brain mulls over the glaringly obvious question.

Should I help her somehow? No, more like, can I help her at all? At this point, the answer is probably no. Misha has the advantage that Shizune never tried to explain herself to her so far; my presence would negate that and most likely make things worse in general.

Satisfied, if not all too reassured by this conclusion, I do the only thing I can: I wish her good luck. It's no mere formality; something tells me she's going to need all the luck she can get.

Then again… the two of us are pretty "skilled" in that department, aren't we? We're here together, after all.

* * *

_Music track: Daylight_

Despite convincing myself that I am in no position to directly help Misha's plan, paying attention in class proves to be an impossible endeavor throughout the day. She told me to watch her… well, that's no problem, since there's little else I can do except repeatedly glancing to my right to see if something sudden and noteworthy happened in the past three and a half seconds.

I should have asked her what her plan is. Still, odds are she would have simply laughed and told me it's a secret; from the looks of it, Misha also wants to take a stab at this on her own. And that's fine, but it nonetheless leaves me worried. Not exactly about the outcome itself - whether Shizune can be convinced, I really couldn't care less at this point - but about the consequences said outcome may have. If things don't work out, then Misha will be forced to accept that their friendship is beyond saving, and I don't want to imagine how she would feel about that. Terrible doesn't even begin to describe it, probably.

And so I watch, though to no avail, because apparently nothing is happening. Misha glanced at Shizune no more than five times during morning classes - yes, I've been taking count - and did little out of the ordinary so far, even though lunch break is now quickly approaching, when our "benevolent dictator" will lock herself up in that room, out of reach. So what is she waiting for…?

"Teacher~!"

Gah… I've been staring at her all day, and Misha's sudden call still nearly made me jump out of my seat.

She waits a moment to make sure the teacher heard her (as if there was any doubt) and continues, "My tummy hurts a bit, I think I need to see the nurse. May I be excused~?"

Those puppy dog eyes she adds to her pained plea would make Emi proud. The teacher doesn't stand a chance against them.

Ten minutes until lunch break. Not bad. She didn't even need help from Lilly to pull it off, like I did back then.

From the corner of my eye, I notice Shizune following Misha with her gaze as she walks out of the classroom, confusion written on her face.

If all goes well, she's going to find out everything soon enough.

* * *

_Music track: Everyday Fantasy_

I almost never stay in class during lunch break. I spend both the morning and much of the afternoon there, so it's only natural to take every chance I get for a brief change of scenery. It's also a bit depressing, the thought that I had nothing better to do than to sit there all by myself.

This time, however, after grabbing a couple of sandwiches, I am immediately drawn back to the classroom. My reasons are twofold: first of all, if Misha finishes putting her plan in motion before the end of the break, that's the place she's going to return to. And second, before that happens… well, I want to avoid meeting her or Shizune at all costs. The last thing any of us needs is me running into them at some critical moment and ruining everything.

That and… maybe I'm anxious too. At least a bit. It's not that I don't trust Misha's judgement, but… for some reason I just can't see her succeed. And seeing her fail really is the last thing I want to experience, even if the outcome will become clear to me sooner or later anyway.

As I enter the classroom, I notice that despite my expectations, I'm not alone after all: Hanako is reading a book at her desk. Lilly is probably busy today, which is why they're not having lunch together. She glances nervously in my direction for a moment, before attempting to disappear behind the indigo blue cover.

I don't want to bother her any more than I already have, so I sit down at my usual place next to the window and grab one of the sandwiches. It disappears amazingly quickly; looks like I was hungrier than I thought. Good thing I bought more.

The remaining sandwiches also don't last much longer, however, and I find myself with a full stomach but with absolutely nothing to do, even though lunch break is still very far from over. I can't believe I've been postponing that visit to the library for weeks; just about any kind of book would do right now to get my mind off the-

I turn back in my chair, risking another glance at Hanako. There are at least three more books piled up on her desk. She looks immersed enough in the one in her hands that I'm sure she doesn't want to read those right now. If I could borrow one… but how should I ask her without risking her panicked escape from the classroom? I eye the stack of books with a whole different sort of hunger as my mind races to find a solution.

Gah, I can't think of anything. To put it simply, my confidence is in shambles: ever since I managed to convince Misha not to give up on her friendship with Shizune, as far as talking to people goes, nothing I had consciously planned out in advance went as I had hoped… and so many things happened since that last success, it feels as if it took place in another lifetime.

I mean, even my first date with Misha ended up heading in a whole different direction… well, it wasn't bad at all, but still… I can't get used to this spontaneity. I'm nervous every time I'm forced to resort to it. Looks like I really am Mutou's star pupil after all: there are no surprises in physics, just a set of laws which govern the universe. Once you know the laws and all the variables, you are prepared for anything.

No, not true. That was a childishly naive notion, I can almost see Mutou shaking his head in disappointment. One of those laws themselves, the uncertainty principle states that you cannot know everything all the time. You can't be prepared for every single twist that may come your way. Sometimes you just have to wing it and hope for the best.

Perhaps I can find a middle ground. I could plan ahead, and if something unexpected happens, adjust those plans on the fly to take the new development into account. That's what all those masterminds do in the movies, anyway.

Hahaha, yeah right, some mastermind I'm going to be…

My thoughts are interrupted by the realization that Hanako is looking at me, or more precisely peering over the book cover, her eyes slightly wide with surprise.

Man, did I really laugh out loud? Misha's influence on me is starting to become something to worry about.

Anyway, I may have made myself look like a weirdo, but this is still an opening. I better act quickly before she looks away.

"Sorry, didn't want to startle you. I just thought of something funny," I tell her in the absolutely friendliest and most unassuming tone possible. "Hey, by the way, could you lend me one of those books? I'm waiting for Misha to come back, but I am getting bored out my mind doing nothing."

Hanako slowly lowers her gaze to the books lying on her desk, then looks back at me, and… is that a small nod I saw? It must've been that, because now she takes a paperback from the middle of the stack and timidly extends her hand in my direction.

"This is… an interesting book," she explains in a low voice. "It has l-lots of stories… Very short ones."

"Oh, great, thanks!" I might be thanking her a bit too vehemently, as she shrinks back in her chair. I tone it down a bit, and take the book from her with a grateful smile. "I promise to give it back before classes start."

"O-Okay." She nods again, more slowly not to mention visibly this time.

As I make my way back to my seat at the window, I can barely hold back another laugh. Talk about anticlimactic! Is this what I've been so worried about? Maybe if at least I wouldn't be so frightened about the idea of talking to Hanako, things could be going a lot more smoothly with her. She's frightened enough for the both of us, after all.

Sitting down, I glance at the cover of the book with interest. "One Minute Stories", by someone called "Örkény István"? That's a strange name, but it does look to be just what I needed. I guess I'll start with the first one…

…

…

Huh? Wait, what time is it?

Looks like lunch break is almost over. Too bad, I would have enjoyed reading a few more of these.

True to my word, I reluctantly return the paperback to Hanako's desk. "Thanks, this really is a great book. I barely noticed the time passing."

She looks at me with an unsure gaze, like she has no idea what to do with such praise. "Uh… Um… Maybe… M-Maybe I could… lend it to you t-tomorrow as w-"

"Hicchan~!"

We both give a start as Misha nearly blasts the door off its hinges with her entry.

"Err, sorry about that," I apologize to Hanako who again attempts a disappearing act behind her book, and quickly head towards the pink-haired girl waiting for me at the entrance.

Well, at least she doesn't look all that depressed, meaning things couldn't have gone to hell entirely. Although… even if she's sad, Misha won't let it show in front of most people…

Eh, enough of this. Just ask her already.

"How did it go?" I try to keep my tone strictly neutral as I state my question.

"I told Shicchan that she's my friend and I'm not giving up on her no matter what!"

She says this with a smile, but it's the kind of "default" smile people have come to expect from her, which doesn't tell me much about her true emotions underneath.

"And…? What did she answer?" I attempt to push her ever so slightly.

Misha hesitantly scratches her cheek. "She told me to leave her alone."

Oh damn. That doesn't sound very good. To make things worse, I still can't gauge her mood at all. I couldn't have imagined Misha having such an unreadable expression. It's almost scary.

Then suddenly, like she decided to have mercy on my nerves, her smile morphs into a full-blown grin.

"I said 'nope'~!"

Does not compute.

"N… Nope?" I echo the word which sounds to me like it was uttered in a foreign language.

"Nope~! I said I'm not giving up on her, right? So~! It'll take a lot more than that to drive me away! Wahahaha~!"

Watching her laugh, I can now tell without a doubt that her resolve is still the same as it was in the morning. And why not? Misha's stubbornness is only rivaled by Shizune's, after all. For the second time this lunch break, I feel like I made a fool out of myself with my needless worries. Oh well, at least no one knows about it…

"Were you worried about me, Hicchan~?"

…You evil woman, you.

"Well… maybe."

"Hahaha! It's okay~!" She pats me on the shoulder. She might as well be hammering me into the ground, the whole thing is so embarrassing. "But~! I actually came to tell you not to wait for me this afternoon! I'm going to be at the council room with Shicchan~!"

I think that is highly unlikely, unless Misha knows how to pick the lock. Although on second thought, she did say "at" and not "in" the council room…

"Just what are you planning to do there?" I can't help it, I have to try asking her at least.

Misha responds with a playful shrug. "What I said~! I'm not going to leave her alone!" She leans to the side, glancing at the clock above the blackboard. "Oh, look at the time, Hicchan~! I have to run, I can't let Shicchan sneak out of the room without me! Bye-bye~!"

She waves at me, spins around and hustles down the corridor.

I would watch her leave, but my classmates are giving me a couple of annoyed looks since I'm blocking their way into the room with only seconds left from the break. With a sigh, I turn around and head back to my desk.

It's the stupidest thing, but I almost feel being left out.

* * *

_Music track: Air Guitar_

I didn't see Misha much for the rest of the week, except for our morning classes together. Every time Shizune walks out of the room during lunch break, she is right behind her, and that is usually the last moment I can glimpse either of them for the day.

When I asked her about it, Misha told me only that Shizune always works late into the evening in the council room. I can understand that much, of course, but I simply cannot fathom what Misha is doing during that time. Shizune surely doesn't let her in, I'm willing to bet money on that.

Because of Misha's unpredictable schedule, we haven't spent a single evening together ever since she started this, and I never would have thought the fact would bother me as much as it does. Oh right, did I say that our relationship was overly physical and that it's odd for us to sleep together all the time? Please forget about that, I was only being a moron as usual. That was merely strange. This is much worse.

I wish I could say that Misha is making some progress at least, but as far as I can tell the only thing she accomplished was driving Shizune further and further up the wall. Yesterday, for instance, she basically fled the classroom the second the bell rang, probably hoping to lose Misha in the tumult. If my pink-haired sources are correct, she did not succeed.

Now it's already late into Saturday afternoon. I'm sitting in my room alone, studying and homework all done, wondering what the heck should I be doing with my free time.

Oh, right! I can finally go to the library and get something… to read… Realization dawns upon me as I notice the stack of books on my bedstand. Of course, I already did that yesterday. And currently I don't feel like reading any of them, even though they look interesting. This is annoying beyond belief.

Perhaps I should take a walk outside… No, done that three times this week already. Go to the Shanghai? That doesn't sound so bad, but… alone? Nah. Going to the city to see a movie or visit the arcade on the other hand would feel like going on a date without a date. Utterly depressing. Maybe if everything else fails… I could hang out with Kenji…? Thankfully I'm not desperate enough for that just yet.

In the end I decide on taking a walk anyway, at least to the main building and back. Supposedly it's good for my health. The days shorten as winter draws ever closer, so even though it's not that late, it is almost dark outside by now. It's also getting rather cold as well, so I try to move quickly, already regretting the whole thing.

I make it to my destination in a few minutes. Possibly because it's Saturday, the school is already half-asleep: there are no lights in most windows, with a couple of exceptions. I notice that the window of the student council room is among these.

I wonder if Misha is there somewhere right now. I could just go in and see for myself. If she's there alone, maybe we could talk a little. I can't deny that I really do miss her company, ear-splitting laugh included.

However, it seems I have no choice but to admit it now, I could have done this anytime. Misha never told me to stay away, the one who made that decision was me. But why? Am I really this afraid of my presence messing things up? Or am I staying away for some different reason?

Am I feeling neglected? Or even… jealous?

Whatever the reason is, it doesn't interest me much at the moment. I hastily make my way towards the entrance.

The corridor leading to the council room is still fully lit, even though the lobby is not. I nervously slow down as I get near the door which I've been walking in and out of during much of my stay here at Yamaku. Aside of my dorm room, I think I've spent the most time here outside of classes. Or I used to, at least.

As impossible as it may sound, I nearly fail to notice Misha. She's standing to the right of the door, her back resting against the wall. Considering there's a locker to her left, one could easily walk down the corridor without recognizing her presence. Especially when she's being so unusually quiet: she seems to be pretty absorbed in that sizable manga anthology she's reading, and also fails to notice me until I'm standing right in front of her.

"Hey," I greet her in a slightly hushed voice.

"Ah, Hicchan~!" Misha's eyes light up as she looks at me, a reaction that I'm rather satisfied with. "Did you come to check on me? Hahaha~!"

She makes no attempt to be quiet of course. I'm not sure why I did, either, it's not as if there's anyone around to hear us. Certainly not Shizune.

I give a shrug. "I guess so, yeah. How's it going? Shizune's inside the council room, I take it?"

"Yup~!" She nods enthusiastically. "Shicchan seems to be extra busy today. I wonder why~! The elections are still pretty far away."

"How do you know she's busy in there?" I ask with some confusion, staring at the door. Can she peek inside through the keyhole or something?

Misha giggles. "She hasn't been to the bathroom since five hours! Wahahaha~!"

My eyebrows soar upwards, not exactly because of her deduction, but because of the timeframe: there's no doubt in my mind that Misha spent those five hours standing here in this one spot as well. She's doing the very same thing I did, although arguably with less apparent results. Her legs must feel incredibly tired by now.

"Why don't we sit down for a while?" I offer. "You could use a break. I'll just bring two chairs from a nearby classroom."

She waves her hand dismissively. "No, I'm fine, I'm fine! Really~!"

I'm pretty skeptical about that, but if you want to convince a person like Misha, arguing is not the way to go. Instead…

"Oh, then I guess you'd have no problem with stepping away from the wall for a second, right?" I set up my trap in the most offhand tone I can manage.

She blinks in confusion. "Hmm~? Well, okay…" She takes a small, innocent step forward, and… "Eeek!"

…immediately loses her balance. She had no idea of what I already suspected: her legs have fallen asleep a good while ago.

Luckily for her, I've prepared for this outcome and easily catch her in my arms. "See what I mean?"

"That was sneaky, Hicchan~!" She pouts, although her annoyance is obviously fake and doesn't last long either. "Still~! I don't mind resting a little like this, I guess. Hahahaha~!"

Should have seen this coming. With a deep sigh, I lower myself to the linoleum floor while Misha proceeds to use _me_ as a chair. Her hair tickles my cheek as she makes herself comfortable, her face inches away from mine.

On second thought, this isn't so bad at all.

"So, how's the Shizune-project going? Is this passive resistance of sorts working out?"

I have to admit that I only asked this to maintain conversation, as most of my attention is now focused on playing around with Misha's pink locks. I really did miss having her this close to me, holding her, smelling that faint scent of shampoo in her hair. It reminds me of pink; I'm not sure if it's because of the scent itself, or because it's Misha.

She grins. That's also even more charming up close. "I think so~. Shicchan is impressed when people don't give up against her, even if she doesn't let it show. She's probably moving out of the 'anger stage' by now…"

"Anger stage…? What's that?" Misha using a phrase that sounds awfully like something she read in a psychology book drags my mind back into the conversation.

"Well, you know… There are these five stages, or steps, or things like that…" she tries to explain, but finally resorts to a more direct approach. "I'll just list them, okay~? First, it's 'denial', then comes 'anger', then 'bargaining', then 'depression', and finally, 'acceptance'~! We still have a long way to go, but we're getting there!"

I stare at her with a blank look. "Misha, I think… those actually are the five stages of grief."

"Oh, that too!" She nods, unfazed. "But I think it also fits here! Wahahaha~!"

I'm not sure how I should respond to that, but as it turns out I don't have to: the sound of a turning lock reaches us from the other side of the door.

"It's Shicchan!" Misha jumps to her feet in excitement - looks like her legs recovered pretty quickly.

I do the same thing, although for very different reasons. "Damn! I have to hide somewhere!"

Almost in panic, I run to the door opposite to us in the corridor. It's unlocked, thank goodness.

"You don't need to hide, Hicchan…" Misha calls after me, but I just resolutely shake my head and hurry into the empty classroom, leaving the door open just a crack so I can see what's happening.

_Music track: Caged Heart_

The student council room door swings open.

Shizune walks out with careful steps, like she's afraid of an ambush. My heartbeat speeds up as I see her looking straight ahead in my direction, but there's no recognition in her eyes; I don't think she can notice the door being slightly open from such a distance anyway. I still let out a relieved breath as she turns her head to the side to face Misha.

"Evening, Shicchan~!" she greets her with a cheerful smile, her hands quickly forming the same words in parallel. "Are you all done for today?"

There's no answer. Instead, time itself seems to freeze around the two as they keep staring at each other, Misha's expression open and friendly, while Shizune's showing a cracking resolve that began to slide towards exasperation. She definitely tries to look angry, but Misha could be right, she can no longer make it work.

That doesn't mean she already gave up, of course. Far from it. This battle of wills between them is so intense, the tension in the air so tangible that it's giving me goose bumps, even though they haven't actually done anything aside of locking gazes.

Shockingly, it's Shizune who breaks eye contact, stepping past Misha as she walks down the corridor. She tries to make it look like she simply grew tired of the whole thing, but it's still an obvious admittance of defeat - something I would have never imagined Shizune doing until a little while ago. Now I am less surprised.

A moment later, like she's following some well-established routine, Misha slowly turns around and starts trailing after her. I carefully stick my head out into the corridor to get a better view. She's following Shizune closely, with only a couple of steps between them, but also making sure to always stay behind her back. It doesn't take me long to realize the significance of this arrangement: Shizune can't hear her footsteps and she's completely out of her sphere of vision, so she can act as if Misha is not there at all - unless she consciously decides to acknowledge her presence by turning around.

Judging from the way she keeps walking forward with her head stiffly looking only straight ahead, I think Shizune is all too aware of this.

They're not far from the lobby now; all it takes is a turn to the left and they're gone from my sight. I'm fighting an urge to hurry after them. After all, I only came here to talk to Misha. I had no intention of getting involved in this any further.

Still, something tells me I should go. I can't tell what it is, it's like my limbs are trying to move on their own, yelling at me to let them. Eventually, I get fed up with the pointless struggle, open the door wide and break out into a run.

It doesn't last long; I'm already panting by the time I step out of the building. I stop for a moment to catch my breath, trying to spot the two girls in the school grounds. I don't see them anywhere, which is strange because they shouldn't have this much of a lead. Did they speed up their pace as well? That could very well be the case, since like me, Shizune did not look dressed for the weather either, so she's probably cold.

Ah, there they are. Looks like they took a small detour towards one of the nearby trash cans, and now they're heading for the gates. If I go there in a straight line, I can probably catch up to them.

This turns out to be an overly optimistic prediction: by the time I reach the gates, they're already a good sixty feet ahead of me on the sidewalk. Shizune does move fast, taking sharp turns without much warning; for instance, it seems now she suddenly decided that she wants to cross the street.

I hear a small bump as she steps off the sidewalk. Right next to it on the road is a rectangular manhole cover that's slightly warped, causing it to move an inch or so up and down every time some weight is placed upon it; I came to notice this because of the distinct sound it makes when a car passes by. Shizune takes another quick step and she's already off - but that's the very same moment when Misha steps onto the road as well.

"Ow!" I hear a surprised yelp from her direction as she freezes on the spot.

For a second, I don't understand what's going on, but then I realize: as the manhole cover moved back into place, it must have caught the tip of Misha's shoe.

"Shicchan, wait! I'm… stuck!" Both her words and signs are to no avail. Shizune does not see her. She continues her way across the road, reaching the sidewalk on the other side in no time.

What's that noise…?

It's almost like… like I'm hearing the sound of a screaming engine from the distance… but…

_Music track: High Tension_

Headlights.

They almost blind me for a moment as the car reaches the top of the hill. It's coming fast. Way too fast, damn it, well over the speed limit.

"Misha, get away from there!" I yell, running towards her in a frenzy.

It's not enough. If I only weren't out of breath…

Misha is trying to pull her foot free, but no matter how hard she tries, it remains stuck.

The driver should be able to see her by now. Why isn't he slowing down?!

I push my body to its limits, running even faster. My heartbeat hastens in protest, but who the hell cares!

There are a couple of people on the sidewalk, waving towards the driver to stop. None of them can reach Misha, they're even further away than me. The only person close enough is-

"SHIZUNE!"

She does not notice anything. Not the car, not the bystanders, not Misha, not me yelling after her even though it's pointless. Just keeps walking on.

The car's not slowing down at all.

It's almost-

Misha turns around and looks at me, bathed in the eerie golden-white glow of the headlights from behind. Her terrified expression burns into my mind, never to be forgotten.

After that, I can't follow what's happening anymore.

I hear the dull sound of impact.

Misha is flying through the air, onto the sidewalk.

The car speeds by me.

_Music track: Shadow of the Truth_

I suddenly realize that I'm still running, heading towards Misha's quivering form.

She's conscious. Her clothes are a mess. Her head's bleeding. She's holding her right foot, which is bent in some terrifyingly unnatural angle.

She screams out in pain.

I kneel down next to her, wanting to help her… but I don't know what to do. Some faint, vague memory of a first aid course springs to mind… something about a "recovery position"… But she's not unconscious, I can't get her to remain still…

I can't-

I…

"Someone call an ambulance!"

…

"Poor girl… My goodness, her leg…"

…

"That drunk bastard! Did anyone get the license plate of the car?"

Many people gather around us, I can hear them talking, yelling, cursing. Still, I barely understand any of it; their voices meld into Misha's agonized scream, creating a terrible cacophony that clouds my mind, making it a struggle to form coherent thoughts.

It hurts. Everything hurts.

…

How could this happen?

How… how could I let this happen…?

How?!

I raise my head in a daze, my gaze wandering around without focus… and through the gap between two bystanders, I see her.

She is still walking down the street, slowly disappearing from view as the road leads downhill. In the same brisk pace. Like nothing in the world happened.

Shizune…

How could _you_ let this happen…?!

How could…

You… you…

…

Fuck you…

Fuck you, fuck you, _fuck you!…_

Fuck you, you goddamn selfish bitch! "FUCK! YOU-!"

Some of the people nearby nervously step back, hearing me explode in anger.

They can go to hell too.

Everyone can just-

"Ugh…!"

That… that was my voice.

Stabbing pain strikes my chest. My heartbeat is a chaotic mess, spiraling out of control.

It hurts so much… I can't even breathe…

My right hand clawing at my ribcage, I try reaching with the other towards Misha, but I can't even see my hands anymore. Just darkness.

A vast, empty darkness I am tumbling down into.


	8. Chapter 8: Spite

**8. Spite**

_Music track: Cold Iron_

Nngh. The light is… annoying.

I attempt to force my eyes shut, but it still manages to get behind my lids somehow, nudging me awake.

I move my gaze across the room. My first impression tells me that I'm in a hospital… but actually, that's not true. I'm in the school infirmary next to the head nurse's office, lying on one of the beds.

Why am I here…?

Memories of the accident come back to me in a blur. I know they should leave me upset, but all I feel is a slight pang of discontent. It must be the effect of some medication I've been getting.

Still, even without the emotions associated with panic, the sense of urgency remains.

"Hey… anyone here…?" My voice is hoarse and drowsy. "Hello…?"

I can hear the sound of approaching footsteps. Whoever it is, he's in a hurry.

I manage to raise my head slightly and see the nurse stepping into the room.

"Ah, you're awake." He smiles at me, although it feels less genuine than usual. "Good afternoon, Hisao."

That word startles me. "…Afternoon?"

"Yes. I will have to confess that thanks to me and some sedatives, you've missed a good chunk of Sunday. It's half past three right now."

Every glance at his cheerful face reminds me of someone else, and makes me more and more eager to cut him off, but I cannot find the strength to ask the question until he's already finished.

"Misha… where is she? Is she okay?" Sedatives or no, a sinking feeling starts to emerge in the pit of my stomach as I say these words.

The nurse's smile disappears, and he gives a slow nod. "Alright, let's cut to the chase then."

Then stop nodding and do it already!

"Miss Mikado is going to be fine." I hear his words loud and clear, but his still-troubled expression robs me of any sense of relief. "She's currently in the hospital with a broken foot. They're keeping a close eye on her to make sure there's no internal bleeding or other nasty surprises going on, but her condition seems to be astonishingly stable. In case you were wondering, the driver's been caught too, an hour or so after the incident."

He really could have said that with a bit more enthusiasm. Is he hiding something from me?

"So what's the bad news?" I ask, hoping to put an end to this charade.

Then it strikes me. The bleeding obvious.

"Did I… have another heart attack?"

He finally lets out a chuckle, although I don't understand why.

"Hisao, if you had another heart attack, we wouldn't be chatting here in the infirmary right now. You'd be in the emergency department of the hospital, with countless tubes and needles sticking out of your body everywhere."

Well, he's got a point. Even if I don't find his joke all that funny, since… let's just say: been there, done that.

"This still was a whole lot more than a simple 'scare', though," he continues in a serious voice once again. "You were in fact transported to the hospital for a few hours, and we could take you back here only because they couldn't find anything wrong with you - but in all honesty, what the people who saw you collapse yesterday told me doesn't really mesh with the results we got. You did _look_ like you had a heart attack, Hisao, even if all other evidence right now points to you being more or less fine."

I don't understand what he's getting at. "And… that means…?"

He steps closer to the bed. "That means you were insanely lucky. Both of you, to tell the truth. Making it through a car accident like that with only a couple of bruises and a broken bone, without even a concussion is not something you see every day." He puts a hand to his temple, letting out a deep breath. "And so, being the head nurse, it should be my job to give you an earful about how you shouldn't overexert yourself and how you should avoid situations of such extreme emotional distress, but…" He manages a more honest smile this time. "Well, given the circumstances, that would make me look bad enough that if Emi caught wind of it, she'd punch me in the face. Worse still, she would be right."

We share a few seconds of amused silence, probably imagining the same thing.

"So I'm just going to say this: please watch out for yourself, Hisao. Even if this whole incident wasn't your fault and I can understand you how feel about it, that doesn't change the fact that your luck might run out one day. Keep that in mind, you hear me?"

I try to clear my head before replying, to reach the same relatively tranquil state I was in when I awoke. I really want to give him a serious answer, with a calm mind free of bothersome thoughts. If this indeed was a unique stroke of luck for both me and Misha, I have to make it count.

But it doesn't work. My unease refuses to go away; if anything, it only gets worse.

"I'll try my best," I finally tell him. The words coming from my mouth sound incredibly fake to my ears.

The nurse either really doesn't notice, or chooses to act that way.

"I guess that will have to do for now," he says with a grin. "Stay like this for a bit longer, the sedative will wear off in a few more hours. I wish I could make you stay here until Monday, but I don't think anything short of tying you down with an iron chain would keep you from visiting Miss Mikado in the hospital today."

I mutter something in affirmative as he turns to leave.

These emotions welling up within - they're starting to frighten me. If it feels this bad right now, how bad will it be with the sedative gone from my bloodstream? I don't want to know. I really don't.

But what I want doesn't matter here. I'm going to find out anyway.

* * *

_Music track: Friendship_

It feels odd to return to the hospital like this.

Of course, this isn't the same hospital I've spent those months in after my heart attack, but at a certain level, all hospitals are the same. They're very clean, white and green tend to dominate their interiors, you have nurses and doctors running around and so on. To steal a phrase from Rin, their "hospital-ness" is at the maximum. The mere fact that they were built to serve this particular purpose makes them have enough things in common to give me this sense of familiarity.

It's familiar, just like a place where I've spent so many days and nights should be. But unsurprisingly, it's not a place I am eager to return to.

Thankfully, today I'm only a visitor here. On one hand, that's a relief, on the other hand that makes it feel even more odd.

Gah, I don't think I'm making any sense.

After some asking around, I'm directed towards room 252 on the second floor. It's already past visiting hours, but the nurse knows a few people working here and promised to give me a hand.

Running into a doctor in front of the aforementioned door proves that he hasn't let me down. The thirty-something woman recognizes my name, tells me not to stay for too long and ushers me inside.

Perhaps out of everything I saw thus far, this room feels the most familiar. All the equipment. The IV stands. The smell of antiseptic. How the windows show fallen leaves dancing in the wind outside, shining in the light of the setting sun - back then, I remember seeing cherry blossom petals gliding through the air the same way, not long before I left.

As I move further inside, I see that there are four beds in the room… but only one of them is occupied.

"Hicchan! You're okay!"

For a second, I just stare at Misha, like I'm seeing a ghost. She is sitting in bed, or more like lying on it but with the upper half of the bed tilted to make it act like a chair. I can see the cast around her right foot which sticks out from under the covers. She's wearing a green hospital gown, with her short pink hair all over the place in disarray and a sizable bandage on her forehead.

But her smile is still the same as always. Even if she appears to be on the verge of tears right now.

As I hurry to her bed, everything that has been bothering me on my way here seems to fade away. My unease about the accident doesn't matter. The hospital doesn't matter. My attention is focused solely on Misha.

She leans forward for a hug, and I am more than happy to oblige.

"Hey, of course I'm okay. Didn't the doctors tell you? They brought me here too, but couldn't find anything wrong with me. It was probably just a flutter or something like that."

Well, except "flutters" don't make people faint. But no need to waste words on that right now.

Misha seems to be reassured by my explanation, and I use this chance to ask about her condition. It turns out the prognosis is quite good: if no complications arise, she can leave the hospital in a few weeks and the cast only needs to stay on for a month or two. Pretty unbelievable considering how her foot looked yesterday.

If I had any doubts left regarding our incredible luck in the accident, those are now completely annihilated. If luck really is a skill, Misha could hold seminars on the subject.

I take another look around the room, and notice fresh flowers, baby blue-eyes I think, in a vase on her bedside locker.

"Did your parents come to visit?" I ask her. "My folks called me at least five times already. It was insanely hard to convince them not to drive across half the country to see that I'm still alive."

Misha looks a bit sad as she answers, "No, I only talked to them on the phone too. Maybe they'll come next week. They work on Sundays, and… we can't really afford to travel much."

Damn, wrong topic. The mystery of the flowers is cast aside as I quickly try to change the flow of the conversation.

"Do you want me to bring you something? Something to read, for example? It's awfully boring to just watch the leaves fall outside all day; trust me, I know." A memory pops up from yesterday. "Ah, right, how about some manga? Do you have a favorite author or series?"

She seems to be giving my suggestion quite a bit of thought. "Hmm~… I don't really have favorites, Hicchan…" Her face suddenly lights up. "But~! I've always wanted to finish reading Rurouni Kenshin! It's a classic~!"

"Kenshin…?" I furrow my brows in confusion. "Isn't that some action manga for young boys?"

Misha crosses her arms, looking at me with an overly serious face like I've just insulted a work of art.

Err, actually, maybe I did.

"It's not just an 'action manga', Hicchan! It's a romantic story about love, friendship, tender feelings and redemption~!"

Saying that a romantic story is about love and tender feelings sounds kind of redundant, but who am I to argue.

"Okay-okay!" I throw my hands into the air in defeat. "I'll see what I can do."

The annoyance is gone from her face as quickly as it appeared - if she was even angry to begin with. "You know, Hicchan, there's someone in that story who reminds me of you a bit."

"Don't tell me it's that ex-assassin guy…" I throw out a guess with a wry smile.

"Hahaha! No~. Kenshin also has a scar, though. But it's on his left cheek, not on his chest."

I stall for a moment at the mention of my scar - although it's hardly a surprise, considering Misha had plenty of chances to see it already. Maybe she even commented on it before, I can't quite remember.

"Then who is it?" I ask quickly to move on.

She raises both arms high, as if what she's about to say will be a cause for celebration. "It's Sanosuke~!"

"Ah, Sanosuke! Right!" I'm about to nod, but then stop in the middle of it. "…Never heard of him."

"Wahahaha~! He's one of the main characters, Hicchan~! Tall and sturdy~… with spiky brown hair… Most of the time, he wears baggy white clothes… and…" Misha punches the air like she's striking an invisible opponent. "He fights people with his bare fists!"

Given the fact that, if memory serves, Rurouni Kenshin is a story mainly about genius swordsmen, it stands to reason that this guy is probably suicidal.

"Great. And I suspect he's also handsome, isn't he?"

I ask this mostly for my own sake: it would feel really depressing if the character I'm supposed to have a resemblance to would turn out to be both stupid _and_ ugly.

Instead of reassuring me that he's the most attractive man in the world, however, Misha merely blinks in confusion. "I'm… not really sure, Hicchan. I guess I never looked at him that way."

…Oh. Err, I see.

"A-Anyway, for the record I don't fight people with my bare fists. I don't really fight people in general."

"That's not what I meant, silly~! But~! You do look like him. Not even a bit, a lot!" Her eyes widen, like she thought of some great idea. "You know, you'd make an ultra-super Sanosuke cosplayer, Hicchan~! Let's give it a try once!"

She's staring at me with an open, dreamy gaze, and I have a nasty feeling that Misha can already see me punching people before her mind's eye, with a ton of hair gel on my head, wearing some stupid white bathrobe-like thing.

And now I can see it too. Heaven have mercy.

"I… have to sleep on that," I tell her, in hopes that she will forget about it by tomorrow.

"Okay~! Hahahah-"

Her laughter is abruptly cut short, interrupted by a violent coughing fit.

I immediately lean closer to her with concern. "You okay?"

"I'm… *cough* …okay. Just… one of those pills I took… is giving me a sore throat."

Right, side-effects. I'm no stranger to those.

"Give me a second, I'll get you some water." I take the plastic cup I saw next to the flower vase and walk over to the sink in the corner.

Got to pay attention to the temperature, neither too cold nor too hot would be good for her right now.

I'm already on my way back when I hear Misha saying something. Probably because her throat forces her to speak less loudly than usual, I can only make out the second half of the sentence.

"…just when things started going so well, too. I wonder how Shicchan is doing right now…"

_Music track: Caged Heart_

The cup falls out of my hands. I hear a sharp noise, and glance down to see the water quickly spreading across the floor. It all barely registers in my head until I notice that my shoes also got wet, the damp sensation snapping me back to reality.

"Oh… sorry… it just s-slipped… err…" I gabble some excuse as I grab the cup and put it back on her bedside locker.

I pace around the room, telling myself that I'm looking for a mop while in truth I'm just staring off into empty space. From the corner of my eye I can see Misha following me with her gaze, looking somewhat puzzled.

"Um… about Shizune…"

I have no idea how I'm going to finish the sentence. The leaves swirling in the wind outside suddenly become the most interesting sight in the room; I couldn't turn my head away from them even if I tried.

"Did she… visit you today?…"

"…No…" She does a poor job at hiding the disappointment in her voice. "Well, I was asleep until noon, but… no, I don't think so."

I nod slowly, mechanically.

"I think… maybe you should… give up on this, you know… I mean, you tried really hard, but it's not really working out, is it?… Shizune is not budging, so… maybe we can just let her be…"

I raise my left hand to my face. It's trembling.

"Hicchan… what's wrong?" I hear Misha's concerned voice from behind. "Why are you saying all this?"

Damn the leaves. I force myself to turn around and face her.

"Nothing, I guess… nothing's wrong, except… except maybe that it was thanks to Shizune that you nearly got killed…!"

She stubbornly shakes her head. "That's not true! It was just an accident, Hicchan! I didn't watch my step so my foot got stuck, and Shicchan didn't see me because she was only looking forward, so it really wasn't-"

"ENOUGH!" I scream at her at the top of my lungs.

Stunned silence fills the room, as if neither of us can believe what just happened.

"Hicchan…"

I can no longer look her in the eye.

"I'm… I'm sorry…"

I really am sorry, but at the same time… I've really had enough of these goddamn excuses…

I slump down to a chair next to her bed, burying my face in my hands. Most people do this to hide their anxiety or tears from others; I do it to keep myself from throwing the chair across the room.

"Misha… please… could you explain something to me?" My voice sounds not only upset, but also incredibly tired, like I haven't slept for days. It matches my mood rather well. "Why are you doing this?… Barely over a month ago, you were talking to me about how sick you've become of everything that was going on between you and Shizune… and now… it's like you're _obsessed_ with changing her mind. I… I just don't get it!"

Her reply comes after another short period of silence. "But Hicchan… It was you who told me then that I shouldn't give up on her… that we should stay friends…"

It's true, there's no denying it. A mirthless chuckle escapes my lips. "Yeah, I guess I did. And you know what? In the end, it turns out I was very-very wrong."

That conversation she's referring to… it really feels like it happened years ago. I remember most of it, but can no longer recall my exact motivation; it's like the Hisao Nakai who existed back then no longer has anything to do with the person I am now. The two of us have become separated by this wall of red hot rage, frustration and anguish, and the searing, flame-like emotions make me recoil every time I try to reach out to my old self.

Thus, I can no longer understand what I was thinking. The only thing that seems certain to me right now is that I was being an idiot.

"Sorry Hicchan, but… I don't think so."

Her words echo in my head endlessly.

Right. So that's how it is. Nothing I could say would change Misha's mind. She wants to do this, even if it's hopeless. Even if she ends up dead because of it.

I said that I would support her decisions - but there's no way I can support this. I just can't.

"Suit yourself." Feeling completely drained, I slowly rise from my seat and start walking towards the door.

Her pleading voice reaches me when I'm only a step away from the exit.

"Wait!… Hicchan… I know you're angry… but… I… can't do this alone, so… p-please… please don't leave me alone with this…"

I turn my head to the side to look at her. The determination I saw in her only a second ago, the aura of confidence that surrounded her throughout the week is now suddenly, inexplicably gone.

My mind is already made up, however.

"I'll visit you again later."

With those words I leave the room.

A minute or two passes, and I shudder as I step out into the night. Never before did the autumn wind feel so mercilessly cold.

* * *

_Music track: Stride_

Monday starts in a ridiculously ordinary way: having forgotten to set my alarm, I arrive five minutes late to class. I mutter an apology to Mutou as I enter the room and quickly head towards my seat, when I notice how deserted that row of desks looks in general: not only is Misha absent, but Shizune, Takashi and Misaki are missing as well. The two other rows in the front and in the back aren't quite full either.

It must be the flu or something similar. I should consider myself lucky I didn't get sick while coming back from the hospital in that freezing cold.

It's likely better that Shizune isn't here, actually. Or not. I'd probably make a scene if she were, but the truth is I can't honestly view that as a bad thing right now.

So begins what looks to be an awfully boring day. Mutou is not even saying anything new, he rehearses material which we have already covered and which I've already understood rather well, so trying to pay attention to him is hopeless.

After a while, though, I still manage to notice something. More than once, when he finishes explaining a type of problem, he appears to hesitate, like there's something else he'd want to talk about, only to decide against it at the last second. I can see the indecision on his face again at this very moment.

Well, if he wants to say something he better get to it, because class is nearly over.

It seems Mutou knows this too; he pinches the bridge of his nose as he turns away from the blackboard to face his dwindled class.

"One more thing… Actually, I should have started with this. As you can see, we have several people missing. I'm sure everyone here heard about Mikado's unfortunate accident by now; I've been in contact with the head nurse, and thankfully it looks like she'll be back on her feet in no time. As for the others, most of them only caught some minor sickness, so they should also be fine soon…" He trails off after confirming my suspicion about the flu, like he has to remind himself of what he wanted to talk about in the first place. "I'm afraid Shizune Hakamichi is a different case, however: due to personal reasons, she is transferring from Yamaku Academy. She will be attending a different high school for the rest of the school year, starting next week."

Huh?

…Transfer?

Shizune's… transferring?

"I know this is all very sudden, but don't worry, you can still say your goodbyes to her this week… although she asked that we refrain from holding farewell parties and the like. She won't be in class, but you can find her in the student council room; as the decision was made only very recently, she is busy organizing the new schedule for the council elections. They have to be held earlier than expected, this Friday to be exact, so the new leadership can take over right away when she's gone. Nakai can probably fill you in with the details if you have any questions."

From one second to the next, I feel that all eyes in the room are focused on me. I freeze in my seat, like a deer caught in headlights.

Fill in with the… What?!

"Oh, but before that, I almost forgot about one last thing." Mutou unwittingly comes to my rescue. "Since the votes need to be tallied up by Friday evening, we can't have the voting last all day long. So Hakamichi thought, and I agreed, that we should get it over with at the start of lunch break. On Friday, everyone is to stay in class after the bell; Hakamichi will come here and collect the votes from you all. It shouldn't be more than a few minutes. I will talk to the other homeroom teachers to see if we can get the voting done in all of the classes like this."

A wave of murmurs runs through the room. Somewhat embarrassingly for our science teacher, his students managed to put two and two together faster than him: multiplying those "few minutes" by the number of classes at Yamaku means that the unlucky ones might be forced to spend their whole lunch break waiting for Shizune to show up. Unsurprisingly, that possibility doesn't sit too well with most of them.

How was that great idea of hers again? "Chain the school to their desks. Voting is mandatory. If you don't vote, you get whipped."

She actually made it happen.

Mutou ignores the noise. "And that really is all for today. Don't forget about your assignments; I'll be seeing you tomorrow."

In what can be considered a rare achievement, he manages to finish right before the bell sounds. One by one, my classmates walk out the door; Hanako leaves last, glancing in my direction as she steps through the threshold. I stay glued to my seat.

"Excuse me, sir," I address the teacher in a restrained voice.

He is so busy going through some stack of papers before him that my words come as something of a shock, and not only because I'm being unusually formal.

"Oh, Nakai! I didn't notice you're still here. What can I help you with?"

I waste no time getting right to the point. "What's with this transfer? When did you hear of this?"

Mutou stares at me, confusion taking hold of his features. "Do you mean that Hakamichi didn't tell you?"

His eyes widen a bit as I firmly shake my head. It's no surprise that he's surprised, I guess. The inner workings of the Student Council are so obscure to outsiders, teachers included, that no one really noticed during the past month that Misha and I had quit, or to be more precise, had been kicked out. We did not tell anyone about it, and it looks like Shizune didn't either.

On any other day, I'd probably find this fact to be hilarious.

"I'm sorry Nakai, I also found out only yesterday evening." Mutou sounds genuinely apologetic. "Hakamichi's father called the principal, and she spoke with me, well, wrote me a long message about it too. It wouldn't be my place to talk about the exact reason, but this time I really know nothing more than what I've already told you, which, I admit, isn't much." He pauses, frowning with concern as she looks through the paper stack in front of him once more. "Something is definitely not right about this, I'll give you that. Hakamichi has been missing from a lot of afternoon classes as well, lately."

A lot? More like all of them.

"Her grades are still as good as ever, so I didn't want to give her a hard time about it, but still…" He raises his gaze to meet mine. "Nakai, is there anything you believe I should know about?"

Your complete failure as a homeroom teacher, for one.

"No, sir."

He gives a sigh. "I see. Well then, I'm afraid if you want answers, you will need to get them from Hakamichi directly. You're friends, correct? If she's going to tell anyone, it'll be you. Go ahead and ask her."

Fat chance.

"Right. Thank you, sir." I stand up and leave without another word.

There's no need for me to ask. I already know what happened.

Shizune is responding to Misha's insistence in the same manner that has become the norm for her recently: by running away. Literally this time.

Oh, that Misha is in the hospital right now, mostly thanks to her? Doesn't matter. Getting far away is the most important. And the elections, of course. Can't forget about the elections.

After all, what would this hellhole do without a goddamn Student Council?! No way! People might get killed, mutilated or be left in despair along the way, but the Student Council has to go on forever and ever! _Right?!_

I nearly walk into a wall, having reached the end of the corridor. There's a poster in front of me nearly at eye level: an advertisement for the elections, naturally. The date has already been corrected; I can recognize Shizune's neat handwriting at a glance. The rest is clearly my work, though. I even remember making that red exclamation mark bigger to better catch people's attention.

I lash out and tear the poster off the wall, crumpling it into a ball of paper in my hands.

I don't fucking think so, Shizune. This time you've gone too far.

If you believe you can force the election down our throats and then simply disappear, you've got another think coming.

It won't be so easy. Not if I can help it.

* * *

When the school's over for the day, I head back to the dorms at a slow pace, my mind riddled with thoughts.

I need to do this the right way. It's easy to get distracted by petty revenge, but this has to be a lot more than just that: I want to send Shizune a clear message that she cannot ignore, no matter how hard she may try. It looks obvious that I'll be forced to walk a thin line here.

Though I have to admit, revenge in itself sounds like a nice added bonus right now.

No matter how slow I go, I eventually reach the dorms, recognizing with some disappointment that I did not get any closer to a solution along the way.

And with that weighing on my mind as I enter the building, I am even less thrilled to run into the very last person I'd want to have a conversation with at a moment like this.

_Music track: Out of the Loop_

"Hey! Great timing, man, I was just looking for you."

Kenji.

"What is it this time?" I mumble, hoping that we can somehow keep this short. What a truly naive hope that is.

He leans closer to me, probably going for a conspirational look, but the only thing that springs to mind is that his breath still smells as awful as ever.

"It's happening, man. It's really happening… The enemy is on the move."

Is it just me, or does he make even less sense than usual?

"What the hell is happening?" I make no effort to hide the irritation in my voice.

Kenji's eyebrows reach well above his thick glasses in surprise. "You don't know? You mean they managed to fool you this badly? This isn't good, Hisao. Come on, I thought you were smarter than this, I mean-"

"Enlighten me then. What is it?" I cut him off, forcing the words out of my mouth through gritted teeth.

"It's the elections, what else? They've been moved to Friday this week! Don't tell me you haven't heard about that either…?"

"No, I did. I've heard of it."

It's actually more surprising that he did, considering the last time I saw him outside the dorms was weeks ago in the middle of the night.

"It's outrageous, isn't it?" he rambles on. "How they could pull this off right under your nose… I've told you joining that Student Council was like begging for trouble. Who knows what kind of brainwashing they've used on you to keep this under wraps for so long-"

"I am _not_ a member of the Student Council anymore." I try to put extra emphasis on the "not" word. It was high time I made this clear so at least Kenji would stop pestering me about it.

His face brightens. "Ah, good thinking, man! That last-minute decision probably saved your life!" His cheer doesn't last long, but I'm almost used to his sudden mood swings by now. "Still, this isn't the time to celebrate and all that shit. We've got a serious situation on our hands. If this election thing goes like the feminists planned, that'll be the beginning of the end. I can feel it."

"You mean they're going to elect a president worse than Shizune?" I ask with a snort of amusement. "That's hard to believe."

"President? Who the hell said anything about the president…?!" His shouting makes me think I might have offended him somehow, but I'll be damned if I know how. "I'm not talking about leadership, I'm talking about what comes with it!"

"A shiny key to the council room?"

"No!… Fine, that too, but it doesn't have anything to do with…"

Kenji trails off, and I realize what a terrible mistake I've made.

"Damn, you're right… You have to be right, I mean, you've been there…" He grabs onto my shirt in desperation. "What are they keeping in that room, man?! Tell me! It's guns, isn't it? It has to be guns! They're going to announce martial law once the elections are over, so they'll need a damn lot of those…!"

I grab his shoulders with both hands in retaliation. "Kenji. There. Are. _No._ Guns. In. The. Student. Council. Room. Got that?!"

I shake him a little after each word to make sure he pays attention. Sadly enough, I'm still not sure he did.

"None that you saw, anyway," he replies in a grave voice.

I feel like pounding my head against the wall. No, here's a better idea, I feel like pounding Kenji's head against the wall. This conversation with him is just as pointless as the ones that came before and the ones that will come after. And I'm still here, wasting my time on this nonsense even though I have plenty of other things to worry about. Like Shizune and the elections… just to name a few…

Wait a minute.

It nearly scares me to admit it, but… isn't Kenji talking about the same thing I intend to do? For completely different and clearly idiotic reasons of course, but that's beside the point. He wants to stop the elections from happening, which rhymes well with my own purpose. If left to his own devices, he'll probably never get beyond these incoherent ramblings, but with some direction… who knows, he might actually be useful for once.

This is a tough call. While getting him involved is obviously risky, I feel it is still worth considering.

Hmm…

- _Convince Kenji to sabotage the voting_ - Chapter 9

- _Talk Kenji out of it_ - Chapter 10


	9. Chapter 9: Blame

Sounds good to me.

It's about time Kenji helps me out with something after all those favors I've done for him. Not to mention that he still owes me money - and no, the damn grape juice I spat all over that book in the library doesn't make us even.

The only question is how I should go about it. Kenji thinks he's the leader of some underground resistance movement, even if that movement is no bigger than the current Student Council. Getting him to follow my lead won't be straightforward… but it's not impossible either.

I fold my arms, trying to appear like I'm deep in thought. It may be pointless, but I can never tell how much he actually sees from me in situations like this.

"Anyway, guns or no guns, I have to agree with you on one thing: this council election is bad news."

I wait for his reply, but he simply stands there without moving a muscle or saying a word. What the hell…?

"Stopping it is probably our best bet, if we can pull it off somehow," I continue. "But how can we do that? Got any ideas…?"

Still nothing.

I swear, if Kenji is messing with me or just refuses to move because of some crap like hiding from feminist motion-sensing robots, I'm going to do something I'll regret.

After several seconds of silent staring, he finally chooses to furrow his brows with suspicion. "…Is everything alright, man?"

Eh?

"What do you mean 'is everything alright'…?"

"You started acting strangely all of a sudden," he states in an amazingly calm voice. "Most of the time you don't really agree with me like this… or even if you do, you sound like you don't. That's not a bad thing, dude. I've gotten used to it. I mean, you're the voice of doubt in the Resistance. The guy who keeps me on my toes. I am the Ying and you're the Yang. We complement each other like two sides of the same sandwich. You don't have to throw that away."

Now it's my turn to stare at him, completely dumbstruck.

Damn it Kenji, why do you have to choose this moment to become unusually perceptive out of the blue?

Or… was he like this from the start, and only played the fool to lull the feminists into a false sense of security…?

Oh no. This is bad. I can't believe I seriously considered that for a second. I simply cannot handle Kenji in my current stressed-out mental state; I have to put an end to this conversation before he drives me insane.

"Come on, you're overthinking things," I tell him, trying to keep my voice calm. "I just said I want to help you battle against this conspiracy or whatever. That's a good thing, isn't it? So why don't we skip this pointless argument and get back on topic here? "

Kenji still doesn't look convinced. Damn him.

"Dunno, man. My mom always told me that if something sounds too good to be true, it's probably going to eat you. Don't get me wrong, you're cool and all, and I don't think the feminists in the Student Council actually turned you into a cannibal, but… well, I don't know."

…

All right, I'm done being subtle.

"Oh, cut the crap already!" I yell, grabbing him by the collar this time. "Do you want to stop the elections or not?!"

"Whoa, Hisao, wait! This isn't you! You got to fight it, man! Fight the brainwashing! It's not a good idea to eat your fellow freedom fighter, remember?"

I fight back the urge to strangle him. "_Yes_ or _no_?!"

For a second, it looks like Kenji will launch into another tirade, but then his expression abruptly becomes calm, as if something clicked into place in his mind.

"Hey, of course I want to stop the elections. Wasn't that obvious?"

Deep breaths. Deep… breaths….

"Fine. Then it's decided, you're going to help me," I state in a voice that sounds more like a low growl. "I'll talk to you later so we can work out the details. Don't make any plans for Friday."

It takes every last bit of my remaining willpower to wait for Kenji's hesitant nod, after which I flee to my room and collapse on the bed.

I dread our next meeting already.

* * *

**9. Blame**

_Music track: Moment of Decision_

The next day, I visited Misha in the hospital again after school.

It was a short and not at all pleasant visit. I had already been nervous about the hospital earlier, but now the familiarity of her surroundings began to haunt me in whole new, utterly terrifying way.

For all intents and purposes, she had become me, and I had become Iwanako.

It was the same thing happening all over again: we've spent most of our time sitting in silence, and when I could not take it anymore, I simply stood up and left. Just like Iwanako did back then.

But what should I have said? That Shizune is running away from everyone and everything, and chances are they'll never meet each other again? Or should I have mentioned the little goodbye present I was planning to give her beloved Shicchan, to properly "thank her" for everything she had done for us?

Because no matter how badly she'd like to think otherwise, the truth is obvious: Shicchan doesn't give a shit. About her, about me, or about anyone else.

Still, I couldn't bring myself to say any such thing. Misha looked depressed as is, almost like something broke in her the moment I stepped out of her hospital room on that previous Sunday evening. Her sullen mood felt just as unexpected, and just as impossible for me to comprehend as her earlier insistence to turn Shizune around no matter what. I did not want to make things even worse, so I remained quiet - while at the same time, I felt like a coward who comes up with excuses only to cover his own weakness.

* * *

Waiting for me back in my dorm room was a similarly unpleasant task: to go over the battle plan with Kenji.

I did not sleep much last night, feeling compelled to lie awake in bed and think. In the end, I managed to come up with something that will likely work, but chances are I'll need his help with it. Thank heavens for small mercies, I was able to make him understand most of what I had in mind without needing to repeat myself.

We finished much earlier than expected, actually. It's still an hour before curfew.

"And that's all there is to it. Got any questions, or can we call it a day?"

"You sure you're okay, man?" Kenji speaks up as I put a bag full of colorful balloons back into the desk drawer.

I run a hand through my hair irritably. "Why do you keep asking me this?"

"Because you keep acting like you're not, duh." He gives an annoying shrug. "You shouldn't let all this stuff get to you, Hisao. You have no chance of defeating the enemy around you if you can't face the enemy within. Like that month-old takoyaki I ate once. I'm not kidding, it nearly killed me for real."

I really hope he was trying to make a joke. In any case, it wasn't funny. "Just mind your own business, Kenji."

My words make him inexplicably pleased for some reason. "Oh, thanks for reminding me: I wanted to give you this."

He reaches into his pocket, pulls out a dirty, battered mobile phone and puts it on my desk. Looking like it may fall apart by itself in any given moment, it's a small miracle that it still appears to be working.

"What do you want me to do with this…?"

"Check out the video on the memory card. I've brought you a nice piece of intel," he says, looking very proud of himself. "I'd never take the risk of making a call, but I did use the phone to gather some evidence last year. You have no idea about the horrors I uncovered. There was some sick, sick shit on this phone, man… I had to delete most of it because of a security breach, but there's still a file left that may be useful to you."

I highly doubt that.

"Okay, whatever, thanks. Good night."

To my relief, Kenji seems to take the hint for once and leaves. I stare at the phone's cracked screen; the clock had been set to Greenwich Mean Time for some odd reason.

Eh, what can I lose?

I browse through the folders of the device in the file manager. Kenji wasn't joking, the phone had been wiped clean almost completely. There are no contacts, no text messages, no pictures, no installed programs, nothing. Only one medium-sized file in the "Videos" folder.

Pressing "down" once, I select it - and then hesitantly push the "OK" button in the middle.

_Music track: Concord_

I see a couple of bushes. They're very close to the camera, as if the person holding the phone is trying to hide behind them. From the lighting, I assume it has to be sometime late in the afternoon.

I can make out a faint but very familiar voice. "Err… um… what are you doing over there?"

Is that… Yuuko? Nah, it can't be.

"Sssh, quiet! You'll expose my position!" Well, I certainly don't have to guess who this is. "Go check out the other stalls, I'm on a mission right now!"

Since there's no reply, I can only assume the mysterious girl did as he said.

Kenji with a member of the opposite sex? Man, that's some shock… Whoever she is, I feel sorry for her.

The camera finally moves away from the bushes, but only ends up facing a nearby tree, which keeps growing in size as he runs towards it. I guess that's going to serve as the new cover against whoever Kenji intends to spy on.

Again, I can hear, if only barely, the sounds of conversation from nearby. Before I can make out anything of what the voices are saying, however, they're drowned out by another.

"Surveillance log, entry 13." Due to his excitement, Kenji seems to be struggling to keep his voice down. "The Tanabata festival finally gave me an opportunity that is well worth the deadly risks I'm taking just by being here. No, if anyone wants to know, this is not a date. For the first time, I can get near the heart of the feminism that infests this damn school. The leaders of the conspiracy. The worst nightmare of free men everywhere."

Slowly, carefully, Kenji sticks the phone out from behind the tree.

I can see a stall covered by blue and red fabric, with a couple of plastic tables and chairs next to it. Almost all the chairs are occupied by people eating something from the disposable plates in front of them.

Why does this look so familiar? A year ago I didn't even know a place like Yamaku Academy existed…

Wait, something's moving. Two girls appear behind the stall, dressed in waitress outfits. A third hurries after them, carrying a tray in her hand with two glasses of soda on it.

The resolution of the video is very bad, but the first and the third girl seem to have long hair, blond and brown, while the second one's hair is short and dark… and… she seems to be wearing glasses…

Damn. I remember. The photo I saw in her room, it was taken at the same time. It's Lilly, Shizune… and Misha.

"The Student Council," Kenji states in a disgusted tone. "Our greatest, craziest, most fearsome enemy."

Oh shut up already, I want to hear them talk!

"…we should hurry to make more." I can finally make out Lilly's voice. "This demand is quite unexpected, so much so that we are almost out of food."

Shizune is not looking at her as she speaks but at Misha instead, for obvious reasons.

She's not translating though. Her hands don't move at all.

"Oh… sorry, sorry~! I'm sorry, Lilly! Wait, I have to put the tray down somewhere…" I've never, ever heard Misha talk like that. She sounds… flustered. Nervous.

[Lilly says we need to make more food quick!]

She finally manages to relay the message, and Shizune's answer comes without a second of delay.

[Don't worry, I was prepared for this of course.] She whirls around and reaches under the stall, only to turn back a moment later. [Where are the noodle packages?]

Misha freezes in place, as if she had just been accused of stealing them all.

[I… I don't know. I have no idea, Shicchan, really!]

Shizune gives a silent sigh. [Calm down. I obviously wanted to ask Lilly, not you.]

The penny drops.

"Oh~! Err… Lilly, Shicchan wants to know where you've put the noodle packages."

Lilly seems confused. "I don't remember even touching those. If I'm not mistaken, Shizune brought them here along with the other ingredients. We have already used up six packages, aren't the rest supposed to be at the same place?"

"I… really don't know…"

Now it's Lilly's turn to sigh. "Could you please ask Shizune?"

Misha tenses up again. Memorizing the previous three sentences and presenting them to Shizune seems to require an enormous mental effort from her.

I have to say, this isn't the most efficient method of communication. She makes a lot of subtle and not-so-subtle mistakes, seems to translate only when asked, and even then she quotes the speaker instead of just translating the words as they come.

Combined with her odd mood, reactions and unusual hairstyle, it feels like I'm looking at a completely different person: a shy, nervous girl who is visibly unsure of herself.

It's so strange, I don't know what to think. How can someone change this much in just a year?

Or… did she change at all? Is the person I've come to know the real Shiina Mikado? Her overly energetic, bubbly personality always seemed unusual to an extent. Is it nothing but a front she puts up to keep people from seeing this? The truth?

On the rare occasions when I saw Misha sad, I always thought that it was so unlike her to act that way, and I instantly felt an urge to cheer her up, to bring her back to her usual joyful self.

But, it turns out, perhaps for her those moments were in fact the most real.

"I found them," Lilly appears from under the stall with a plastic package full of noodles in hand, triumph apparent in her voice. "It seems we now have everything we need. Misha, could you light the stove while I chop up the vegetables?"

Misha turns towards the portable gas stove behind them at a snail's pace, approaches it with similarly excruciating slowness, and finally picks up a box of matches into her slightly trembling hand. If I was watching a live video stream or a movie, this is the moment when I'd begin to worry that she's going to blow everyone up.

Suddenly, a hand appears on her shoulder. I recognize the hand's owner to be Shizune as she steps closer, Lilly obscuring her from view until now. I wish I could lean to the side, as I can barely see the signs they're making.

[What's wrong?]

A blunt question, as expected.

Misha's hands are moving about in the air, but I don't think it's the distance, the angle or the video's resolution that's making me believe they're not forming coherent words.

[Look, just calm down a bit, okay? If the customers keep pouring in like that we'll have to work quickly.]

I think I can finally see what Misha is signing, but it doesn't make me much wiser, since she seems to be only repeating a single word.

[But… but… but…]

Then without warning, the words explode out of her without much regard to whether Shizune can understand them or not.

"But Shicchan, I've never used a gas stove before~! It's really, really dangerous! And there are so many people here and they're all staring at me, and this outfit doesn't fit, and you're all speaking so fast I can't keep up, and the weather looks like it might rain right now or in a minute or two, and that makes me sleepy but I know I can't be sleepy right now, and… and…"

CLICK

_Music track: Painful History_

I stop the playback.

That was enough, I can't watch any more of this.

It's almost funny how history is repeating itself. Iwanako and I drifted apart during my stay in the hospital, just like how the distance between me and Misha seems to grow larger with every passing second. And when I could finally leave that damn white-and-green room behind, I was thrust into an entirely new environment, without any handholds whatsoever: no friends, no nearby relatives, nothing.

I'm beginning to feel the same way once more.

Shizune, Misha… The people I thought I knew, the people I thought I could count on, the people I thought I… loved… In reality, they're all turning out to be drastically different compared to the pretense they've been keeping up until now. It's like I've been part of a masquerade without realizing, and now that the masks are off, everyone is laughing except me.

I've spent over six months here, and all these people are suddenly like strangers to me. The two friends I thought I had simply do not exist. The others… who knows? How can I tell what they're really thinking? How can I tell what kind of personality hides behind their supposed acts of kindness? How can I tell who they really are?

It's a lie, all of it. The truth is this: ever since I've arrived to this school of freaks, I've been alone. And I still am.

Before going to bed, I turn off my alarm clock.

I don't care if I sleep in. If I had the chance, I would not wake up until Friday morning.

But then I definitely will. I'm going to do this. Damn the consequences.

* * *

_Music track: Caged Heart_

The cold, misty Friday morning had finally arrived.

To my shock, Misha came to school today.

I can't say I'm happy about this turn of events at all. She had told me it's going to take weeks before she can leave the hospital; either her recovery is going that much faster than expected, or she had simply been this unwilling to stay there, no matter what the doctors said. That way she fumbles around the corridor with a pair of crutches makes me suspect the latter.

We did not talk, I avoided her on purpose. In fact, this development just reinforced my original idea to skip all morning classes entirely. The less she knows about what's happening, the better it is for me.

I check the balloons in my bag for what's surely the hundredth time this morning. They're all fine, none of them ruptured; I would notice that very quickly anyway.

Surrounded by dense fog, the school building almost feels like it's haunted. One can barely see anything outside the windows. Fragments of human speech can be heard sifting into the corridor from the classrooms, but the corridors themselves are completely empty. I walk in them alone, impatiently counting the minutes as the hours crawl by.

Can't time pass a bit faster, damn it?

Part of me just wants to kick in the council door and get it over with. But that would accomplish little, or at least not enough. Not enough for me, anyway.

My last-minute doubts begin to assault me as well. They question whether this is really worth it. Whether I am going too far or not.

I cast them all aside. My decision has already been made. There's no turning back now.

"…Um…"

I hastily turn my head to the side in alarm. I didn't hear or see anyone coming.

It's Hanako. Probably skipping classes just like me, she sneaks around the mist-covered school without a sound, truly like a ghost in a haunted mansion.

I'm not amused.

"What is it?"

Hopefully my curt, impatient question will make her realize that she would do well to keep this short. What could she possibly want from me at a time like this? I can hardly see her lecturing me for not being in class; that would be the pot calling the kettle black anyway.

She had to notice that I'm not in the mood for chitchat, because she seems to become even more tense than usual.

"… Lilly… was… looking for… for you… this week…" Feeling pressured, she struggles to get her point across. "She… wanted to talk… with you…"

Right. And I did my best to make any such contact impossible. "So?"

"…I'm… Um, we…"

She still doesn't give up. Why? Hanako is not the one to start a conversation, not to mention that my unfriendly attitude should have driven her off three times over already. She does look like she'd prefer to run even now, but something is holding her back. Very unexpected.

Whatever, I should have gotten used to such things already. It's just another example of how little I really know about the true selves of these people around me.

Her eyes cast down, Hanako's gaze is fixed on a square of linoleum on the floor that's slightly lighter in color compared to the others. "We're… w-worried about… the three of you."

I snap my head up. She definitely has my attention now.

"Lilly noti- err, we noticed t-that… things… are n-not going okay with you… And now… Shizune is transferring away…"

I allow myself a mental chuckle to that. Good thing someone actually paid attention. Still, it's a nice effort, Hanako, thanks - but I don't want any of your pity. Or Lilly's, for that matter.

"And? So what?"

"But I… I don't…" She is close to breaking down now, I can see it from the way her fingers clench around the sides of her skirt. I wish she would get it over with already. "You… you shouldn't… you shouldn't d-do this, Hisao! It's… it's not going to help…anyone…! Y-You… You'll regret it!"

I stare at her. She barely raised her whisper-like voice and I'm not sure what she meant by that, but I can nonetheless feel my anxiety rise.

"What are you talking about?"

Hanako clenches her eyes shut. Her very being is on the verge, like an overly tense string threatening to snap.

"I s-saw you… pacing a-around… the c-council room… And I… saw t-those… when… when you… when you t-took some of them out of your bag…"

I involuntarily take a step back.

She saw me. Hanako… she knows what I'm about to do.

If… if she tells the teachers… if they find out anything about this, then-

"D-Don't you dare!" I yell into her face. "Don't you dare telling anyone, do you hear me?!"

My enraged voice echoes through the corridor.

Shit! What have I done?! Everyone must have heard that! I have to get out of here!

I dash towards the stairwell leaving the terrified-looking Hanako behind, and don't stop running until I reach the school grounds.

I think I made it. Only a few teachers or students could recognize me by voice, so I'm probably safe.

Unless… unless Hanako rats me out. If she does go to a teacher after this, it won't matter where I run…

No. I can't lose my nerve now. Not at the last moment.

What am I so worried about, anyway? It's Hanako. She can barely talk to people her own age, let alone the teachers. I don't have to be afraid of her. Luckily for me, she's pretty hopeless.

Feeling reassured, I decide to wait an hour or so before heading back into the building to let things calm down a little. I can put up with the cold until then. What comes after makes it more than worth the trouble.

* * *

This is it.

I eye the small, red box on the wall of the second floor corridor. There's only a single line of text on the transparent plate in front, printed in large bold letters.

**IN CASE OF FIRE BREAK GLASS**

I check my watch. Too early, it's still 8 minutes before lunch break. I have to wait for another 174 aggravating seconds. The timing has to be perfect, or my whole plan is useless.

My eyes dart between the watch and the red box in front of me restlessly.

…150 seconds… 120… 85…

33… 20… 12… 8…

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

Now!

I punch the box, and the glass gives in immediately.

The sound of a blaring siren hits my ears. I don't know where it's coming from, it's like the walls themselves started screaming.

But that doesn't matter. My job is to head to the council room as quickly and discreetly as possible.

Rushing down the stairs, I can see the class doors opening left and right. Students rush out, looking somewhere halfway between excited and worried as the teachers direct them towards the stairwell while struggling to maintain some semblance of order.

I manage to stay ahead of them, and watch from behind a locker on the ground floor as the crowd leaves the building. As I suspected, it takes several minutes for the last wheelchair-bound pupil to leave with some help from the elevator.

The school once again becomes eerily quiet, not even the distant voices from the classrooms are heard this time. I realize that even the siren had stopped; it shouldn't have unless someone deliberately switched it off. Looks like they've found the broken fire alarm box on the second floor and realized that the whole thing was just a ruse.

Fine by me, that alarm was grating on my nerves anyway. It's already too close to lunch break for classes to resume… and things aren't looking too good for the elections either.

But it's not over yet. I'm just getting started.

I abandon my hiding place and hastily make my way to the council room just down the corridor. I find Kenji standing there, nervously shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"Good, you're here." I nod to him. "I was worried for a minute that you've let yourself get dragged out with the rest of your class."

I put my open bag down to the floor.

"Here, you can have half the ammunition. It should be more than enough for the both of us." He does not react. "Come on! Shizune can walk out that door any second, so move your ass!"

Instead of listening to me, Kenji decides to open his idiot mouth once again. I can instantly feel my blood pressure rise.

"You know, dude… I-I've been thinking about this and-"

"Move, don't think! We're running out of time!"

"B-But why? Hisao, the elections are already FUBAR. We won this round, man! So why risk our asses for nothing?"

"No, this is not enough! I've already told you that! We need to… we need to settle this for good," I state in a shaky, strained voice. "Here. Take these. …If you're not a fucking coward."

"I'm not a…!" Kenji's outburst is so pointless that even he realizes the fact and gives up. "Fine. But I don't like this. It doesn't matter who we're up against, it's still like… like we're a bunch of bullies or something…"

"Shut the hell up."

Kenji actually obeys. Must be some miracle.

No sooner than we take our positions, the bell sounds, that boring, mind-numbingly repetitive noise filling the near-empty school building. Lunch break has started.

The door of council room slowly opens, right on cue. Looks like it wasn't even locked this time.

Shizune steps out into the corridor. I can't see her face well from where I'm standing, but she's carrying a large cardboard ballot box in both hands, with a stack of photocopied ballot papers resting on top of it. Completely unaware of what happened in the last few minutes, she begins to walk with careful steps towards the elevator.

I can barely restrain myself as I watch her leave. Kenji, _what the hell are you waiting for?!_

_Music track: High Tension_

He finally appears from behind one of the lockers in front of her. Surprised, Shizune comes to a halt.

The bastard is visibly hesitant, but finally throws the balloons in both of his hands at her. One of them is way off the mark, but the other is flying in the direction of her right leg.

Probably on reflex, Shizune jumps back a feet or two, the stack of papers swaying dangerously on top of the box. The balloons burst as they hit the floor, splashing water in all directions around them… but sadly, she manages to avoid it for now.

Kenji reaches for another balloon tucked away in his shawl, and Shizune begins to back away.

Fool.

She doesn't know she's heading right towards me. She doesn't know that Kenji is nothing but a diversion.

Finally noticing me from the corner of her eye, she turns around at the last moment - but it's already too late. From such close range, little more than two feet away, I do not miss.

I feel a special sort of satisfaction as I watch the balloon hit her squarely in the face. Her glasses fly off as she loses her balance, the outbursting water soaking her from head to toe. She falls towards the ground. The moment she lands on her butt, my second balloon hits the cardboard box.

Water is everywhere. The ballot papers are covering the floor, completely drenched, well beyond saving.

…Too easy. Way too easy.

This can't be it. It can't be over yet. There must still be something I can do.

I hurry past her, into the council room. I glance around, then reach into my bag - still plenty of balloons left.

Good.

Without any real target or goal, I begin throwing them around the room with reckless abandon. It works well. The rest of the papers, the other ballot box we made, the reports, notes and handouts in the drawers, the posters, the board games - everything is washed away. Destroyed. Gone.

The Student Council is no more.

I realize with some resentment that I've finally ran out of balloons. I reluctantly turn around and walk out of the room with dazed steps.

Something's still amiss. But what…?

Shizune is still sitting on the floor in the middle of the puddle of water, unmoving, drenched sheets of paper all around her. Shockingly however, I can definitely hear some kind of noise from her direction.

Low, muffled sobs.

Shizune is crying.

…Pathetic.

"What? You thought I'd just let you walk off? After everything you did?" I question her, my voice rife with anger. "So tell me! Was this worth it? Was this worth throwing me… throwing us away like trash?! Answer me!"

Nothing. She can't hear me of course, but that's besides the point. She makes no effort to even see me. She doesn't even raise her head.

She's… she's _still_ ignoring me…!

With a couple of indignant steps, I go to stand exactly in front of her.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you, damn it!"

No reaction. None.

That… that damn bitch!

My trembling fingers dig into her dark, silky locks; I pull her hair backwards, forcing her to show me her face.

Tears stream down her cheeks… but her eyes are clenched shut.

Arrgh… _Y-You!_

My other hand clenches into a fist, and I raise it threateningly into the air.

"I… _said_… LOOK… AT… MEEE-!"

_Music track: Cold Iron_

There's a sudden sensation of impact, and something throws me off balance.

Struggling to stay on my feet, my back hits one of the lockers as I stagger backwards. My face hurts. Warm, salty liquid is dripping from my nose to my lips.

Something… someone broke my nose? The hell-?!

Eyes wide, I stare blankly ahead, unable to believe what I'm seeing.

Hanako stands before me, panting heavily. Her right arm is still extended towards me; both of her fists are clenched, her expression a terrifying mixture of fear and rage.

You got to be kidding… Hanako, of all people, punching me in the face?! What the-?!

Her entire body shakes as her dark eyes dart between me and Shizune's limp form on the ground.

"Stop it…!" She finally turns away, as if the sight is causing her physical pain, her whisper-like voice escalating into a hysterical scream. "STOP IT!"

With that, she whirls around and flees in panic, her running form disappearing from view in seconds. I can only stare after her in disbelief… until I realize that she did not come alone.

"Hanako…?" Lilly stands a couple of steps behind me, looking shaken. Absent-mindedly, I also notice that Kenji on the other hand is nowhere to be seen. That spineless coward.

So, instead of running to the teachers, Hanako brought her friend here instead. How terribly cute. And so very pointless.

Lilly begins to walk forward. Her steps are slow and careful as she waves her cane in front of her, but there's unmistakable determination showing on her face.

"What now?" I ask with a scornful snort. "Don't tell me you're also here to lecture me about what I'm doing wrong… Or do you want to skip that and just try beating me up instead?"

Seconds pass without a single sign that she heard a word of what I told her. Lilly simply walks past me, pausing only when she notices the puddle of water under her shoes. Shortly after, her cane bumps into Shizune on the ground.

She crouches down, her free hand searching for the other girl's face.

"I'm sorry, Hisao… but to the man you've become, I have nothing to say."

A curt answer. More like an offhand comment.

Yeah right. What gives…? Care to get off your moral high horse for a second?! Last I checked, you hated everything about Shizune just as much as I do! And you have the gall to put me down with something like that…?!

That's what I want to yell at her, but my lips refuse to move. There was something in her voice, something inexplicably imposing that simply zipped my mouth shut.

I can't believe this.

Wiping the tears from her cheeks, Lilly takes Shizune's hand between hers, and starts doing some really bizarre motions with her index finger. It's like she's writing something into Shizune's palm, occasionally grasping one of her fingers as well. Is that some sort of sign language?

Shizune's sobs quiet down, and Lilly helps her to her feet.

As far as I'm concerned, I feel too disgusted by this "touching scene" to even look anymore. Leaning against the locker, I close my eyes in resignation and listen to their footsteps as they slowly fade into the distance.

Whatever. I don't care anymore.

You can all rot in hell.

* * *

_Music track: Breathlessly_

A different kind of approaching noise draws my attention after a while. It's similar to what Lilly's cane makes as it touches the ground, but a little heavier-sounding, and it also feels more like there's two of them, instead of just one.

A pair of canes? No…

A pair of crutches.

…Why on earth is she here?

I open my eyes to glare at the newcomer. Misha is leaning on her crutches to keep herself from falling over, looking exhausted to the point that her good leg can barely support any of her weight at all.

"Hicchan…"

I avert my gaze. "Leave me alone."

She doesn't listen. Hardly surprising.

"…You and Shicchan weren't in class, and… when I asked to the others, no one would tell me why… Then I saw Hanako run to Lilly when the alarm went off, but… I couldn't keep up with them, and…" She takes a longer pause to catch her breath. Her voice wavers even more when she continues, "W-What happened? Did you really… did you really do this, Hicchan?"

"And what if I did?" The fact that I can only answer in a quiet murmur makes me feel humiliated.

"But… why? This makes no sense…" Misha's voice grows increasingly desperate, struggling with the tears that she'd hope to hide even now. Deceitful to the very end. "You're… you're not like this, Hicchan… So why… why did you-?"

A jolt of anger runs through me.

"What the hell do you know about who I am?!" I snap at her. "You don't know anything! You were too busy with your own little issues to ever bother to learn! …Like, just for starters, do you have any idea how much I've hated that damn nickname ever since I was a kid?!"

That rendered Misha speechless. An achievement, I suppose.

"Of course you don't. And you know what? I don't know anything about you either, except for the fact that you've been leading me by the nose like everyone else." I spit the words out like they taste unbearably bitter in my mouth. "Who the hell are you, really? I can't tell anymore. Your childish gags, your idiotic laugh, your hair, the way you talk, even the name you want others to call you - everything about you is fake! Tell me, does a real Shiina Mikado even exist somewhere? Was she having fun at my expense during the past month?!"

She slowly shakes her head in denial. "W-What do you mean…?"

"Come on, it's painfully obvious! You were just using me. Ever since you came to my room looking for 'comfort' or whatever, I was nothing but a cheap replacement for Shizune to you!" I point an accusing finger in her direction. Misha flinches. "At least I was good for you in bed; it sure explains why we did little else all the time! You never felt anything, and my feelings didn't matter: the moment you grew tired of this, in the very second you thought up a way to get back to Shizune… you dropped me like a hot potato."

Her gaze drops to the floor. An admission of guilt, if I ever saw one. "You're being really, really unfair, Hich… I mean, that's not… that's not true…"

"I haven't seen you for a week once you started stalking Shizune! What else was that supposed to mean?!" My yell gives way to a bitter chuckle. "Give me a break, why deny it? I can't help being a guy instead of a girl, and there's also no helping it if you're simply not wired that way…"

Misha finally gives up the losing battle she's been fighting, and her tears begin to flow freely from her eyes.

For the first time, I can truly recognize the girl from the video in the person in front of me. So, this is what Shiina Mikado really looks like. What a sorry sight.

I think I've seen more than enough. I turn around and head for the closest door I can spot, which happens to be the one leading into the student council room - or whatever is left of it.

"Just get out of here already," I mutter as I step through the threshold. "I'm sure Shizune will be overjoyed if you join her little pity party."

I can hear the tiniest voice answering me from the midst of her miserable sobs.

"I… I hate you…"

So much for not wanting to hate anyone. At least it's good to know that the feeling's mutual.

The door slams behind me. I start to trudge towards the nearest chair, but my legs refuse to carry me much further, and I soon slump down to the wet ground.

The ravaged council room seems to mirror my current state perfectly. Consumed completely by the raging emotions that flowed through me in the past minutes, my body feels much like a burnt-out husk.

I've come to hate these people around me, and yet, I can't help it… I feel lonely nonetheless. They deserved nothing less, and still… I can't deny that part of me abhors what I did to everyone.

In the end, I've shut them all out.

Now why does this phrase feel so familiar? Because of Shizune, who else?

She and Misha can still live happily ever after of course. She's the victim here, after all. Victims need to be consoled. I can almost see them bumping into each other in the corridor right now, embracing and talking about that horrible man who ruined everything.

Poor Misha, poor Shizune. Hisao Nakai came and messed up your lives.

The bastard.

You know what would be funny? If I could just die right here, right now. What a twist that'd be! A dead man no longer fits the role of the villain so well. All of a sudden, I would become part of the tragedy. Out of the blue, the situation wouldn't be anyone's fault at all.

"It must have been all that medication. Did you see the list of side effects? It'd be no surprise if some of them messed with his head. He didn't know what he was doing."

"A heart attack at such a young age! And then the sudden change of environment, less than a year before graduation! No wonder he couldn't take it."

People would say all that and more. They'd make a martyr out of me. A misunderstood saint.

It would be nice.

But my heart still beats. Slowly and steadily. I don't remember it ever being so calm and punctual in the recent past. It keeps beating on and on, pumping blood through my veins with no end in sight. Unrelenting.

Unwilling to take the blame.

_Music track: -_

**_THE END_**


	10. Chapter 10: See Yourself

Well, all is fair in love and war, as the saying goes.

But this no longer has anything to do with love, and calling it a war would feel like stooping down to Kenji's level… or Shizune's, for that matter.

That's not something I want to do. Filling Kenji in is out of the question.

Still, even if the chances of him actually doing something besides mumbling about the end of the world are miniscule to say the least, I have to make sure he doesn't unwittingly go against my own plans. Better be safe than sorry.

"Listen, let's drop this gun topic for a second. What do you plan on doing, anyway? I mean, if you think the elections really are such bad news, you must have thought of something to prevent it, didn't you?"

Kenji gives me a smug smile that I'm sure was meant to look mysterious.

"What, so now you want to be part of the plan? No offence, but I don't give my top secrets away just like that. A man can never be too careful."

Yeah right. "You don't have any sort of plan, do you?"

His outraged expression makes the answer glaringly obvious before he even opens his mouth. "Bullshit! I have a whole lot of… stuff. The plans are just in the early stages of… planning."

I fold my arms, feigning disinterest. "Fine, whatever. I just think you're looking at this from the wrong direction."

"What?… Don't give me that shit. I always look at things from all directions. Sometimes I even do a handstand."

Sounds to me like someone is sulking.

"Then I guess you must've thought about how useless it is to confront the system head-on, right? You're way outnumbered, for starters. If one has a choice, it's much better to fight it from the inside than from the outside."

"You bet I did." Kenji nods immediately. "…What does that mean?"

Here goes nothing.

"If you're so afraid of what might happen, then instead of trying to stop to elections… why don't you run for council president yourself?"

Kenji's mouth slowly opens, then closes.

"Wha… whu… wha… what?!" he screams at me, his outburst fueled more by panic than outrage. "Are you nuts…?! You think the feminists would let me do that?! They'd have me killed in a second, or maybe even less than a second! They'd cut my throat and spill my guts out, man! I'm having a hard time dodging their assassins already!"

I've been expecting that line.

"That's what you think. But in truth, once you become a candidate, they won't be able to lay a finger on you. Just imagine: do you think they'd want to make you into a martyr in front of everyone? The publicity the elections give you is actually the best defense you can have."

No reply. Looks like it'll take a while for Kenji to digest this information.

"…Man… You… You're one twisted politician, Hisao."

Do you want me to punch you in the face?

"Anyway, I think you should give it a try. Even if you don't win, you can… err, serve as an inspiration for the next generation of anti-feminists."

I can clearly see he's tempted by the idea. Whatever remaining doubts he has, they now make him look more depressed than angry.

"Yeah, that's just the problem, dude. I'm going to have to graduate this year along with you. Tried my best to avoid it, but I could only delay it so far."

…Exactly how old is he?

"So what? That doesn't mean you can't be a candidate. Shizune's leaving next week, remember? The new president has to take over immediately, so you can still lead the council for a couple of months. And then you'll just organize a new round of elections before graduation… only this time, it'll be you who can dictate the terms."

Hearing that last line, Kenji staggers on his feet like he's been shot.

"I dunno, man… I… I have to think about this."

"Go ahead. It's your call."

Without bothering to say goodbye, he turns around and begins trudging back toward his room with aimless steps, almost like he's sleepwalking. I think this went even better than I hoped it would.

I feel a strange sort of relief as I watch his back disappear behind a couple of other male students talking in the corridor. I can't say I've calmed down, but this meeting with Kenji made me realize how close I've come to losing my common sense myself. I hate to say this, but I guess I owe him some thanks.

I must focus. I cannot let myself get carried away. The consequences of that would be devastating.

Of course, that's easier said than done. Especially since, like Kenji, I still don't know what I want to do either. With a weary sigh, I also set off to my dorm room, hoping that I may have better luck deciding after a good night's rest.

If I manage to sleep, that is.

* * *

**10. See yourself**

_Music track: Cold Iron_

The next day, I visited Misha in the hospital again after school.

It was a short and not all that pleasant visit. I had already been nervous about the hospital earlier, but now the familiarity of her surroundings began to haunt me in whole new, utterly terrifying way.

For all intents and purposes, she had become me, and I had become Iwanako.

It was the same thing happening all over again: we barely exchanged a handful of trivial sentences, spent most of our time sitting in silence, and when I could not take it anymore, I simply stood up, said goodbye and left. Just like Iwanako did back then.

But what should I have said? That Shizune is running away from everyone and everything, and chances are they'll never meet each other again? Should I have mentioned that I'm no longer willing to take her idiocy lying down, perhaps?

It would have served no purpose. Misha looked depressed as is, almost like something broke in her the moment I stepped out of her hospital room on that previous Sunday evening. Her sullen mood felt just as unexpected, and just as impossible for me to comprehend as her earlier insistence to turn Shizune around no matter what. It seemed like silence was my only option.

* * *

Arriving back to the dorms, I still hardly consider myself to be in high spirits. Homework can wait; it'd be pointless to even try getting any of it done as things stand.

I did not sleep much last night, feeling compelled to lie awake in bed and think. I now have a plan that will probably work, even if it's undoubtedly risky. Nonetheless, I feel I am more than willing to take the risk right now. I'm at the point that even if whole school will-

I freeze as I turn into the small corridor branching off the hallway which leads both to my and Kenji's rooms. Someone's standing in front of my door, and it's not my hall-mate.

It's Lilly.

I have the feeling I know why she's here, and it's not something I want to talk about. Maybe I can still turn around, take a walk outside and come back later? It's possible that she did not hear me yet…

"Hisao, is that you?"

Right, of course she did.

"…Yeah. Hi, Lilly. Um, what can I do for you?"

I'm not exactly the best at telling people to leave me alone without sounding rude. Still, she's the most well-mannered person around my age, heck, possibly around the entire school, so hopefully I can get the point across with nothing more than my sincerely dispirited tone.

"I'm truly sorry if this isn't a good time. To be honest, I've been looking for you all day yesterday." With just two small sentences, Lilly acknowledged my feelings, but also made it clear that she's not going to back off. This isn't a battle I can win. "I asked one of your classmates about where your room is, I hope you don't mind."

What difference would that make?

"It's okay."

As my words die away in the air, aggravating silence descends upon us.

"I'm…" Lilly begins to say, but seems to be at a loss about how to continue.

In that case, I'll give her a hand. Let's get this over with. "It's about Shizune, right?"

She slowly inclines her head. "Yes."

It's hard to say whether she's relieved that I helped to move things forward, or annoyed that I interrupted her thought process. Well, it doesn't matter, since my reply won't change either way.

"There's nothing I can tell you."

"…I …understand."

That's what she said, but she's still standing in front of my door, looking unwilling to move.

Oh, I get it. Since there's nothing I can say, we should talk about what this "nothing" means in particular?

Alright, whatever.

"I haven't spoken to Shizune in weeks, if that's what you wanted to hear. She threw both me and Misha out of the Student Council," I state in a dry tone. "If you want to know why she's leaving, why don't you ask her yourself? I've been told you two _can_ talk to each other if you really want to."

Lilly's eyes open in shock. "Shizune… expelled you from the council?" she echoes, conveniently ignoring my last sentence. "I would have never thought… I could notice that your relationship took a turn for the worse, but…"

She did manage to force something out of me in the end, didn't she?

Her expression pained, even sad, she bows slightly in my direction. "Forgive me, Hisao, I was being tactless. I shouldn't have cornered you like this." Reaching forward with her cane, she steps away from the door. "I will not inconvenience you any further."

Lilly moves to leave, but her way is blocked by me standing in the corridor… and this time I'm the one who finds it hard to simply step aside.

"Look… The truth is… I am…" I start to stammer. What the hell am I doing…? "Misha was… she's-"

I'm cut off by a door behind us nearly breaking off its hinges.

_Music track: Out of the Loop_

"What's going on here?! Is this an ambush?" A somewhat panicked-looking Kenji jumps out of his room, holding a chopstick in one hand and some piece of paper in the other. He points at us with the chopstick like it's some magic wand he can use to unleash a barrage of curses on the incoming enemy.

Well, except there's no incoming enemy, just us.

"Good afternoon, Kenji." Lilly tries her best not to let him know how much his timing sucks.

"Your timing sucks." I am less considerate.

He's not paying any attention to me, however. The moment he heard Lilly's voice, his expression began to transform into something truly unthinkable.

Kenji looks friendly. No, not just friendly, more like positively beaming with cheer. Like all the feminists abruptly disappeared off the face of the Earth exactly two seconds ago.

"Oh sorry, I just heard a girl's voice and thought… never mind, it's cool." He smiles at her. I'll say that again: Kenji is _showing a carefree smile_. To a class rep, no less. "Hey, Hisao. Good you're here, I wanted you to have a look at this."

He walks up to us and hands me the sheet of paper. The handwritten text on it is nearly illegible, but I can at least decipher the title.

**DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE FOR ALL MEN**

I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but I still am.

"What the heck is this?"

"My political program. I'm going to the council room right now to submit it along with my candidate registration. Cool, eh?"

I don't think anyone is interested in seeing your ramblings in written form, but far be it from me to stop you, as long as you get out of my face ASAP.

"Would that mean that you intend to take part in the elections?" Lilly is much better at hiding her surprise than I am, but it's still there.

Kenji's cheerful facade cracks a little as he warily turns his head in her direction. "Yeah, I'll be running for council president. It was Hisao's idea… So, err, yeah."

"I see. There is still some time until graduation, isn't there?…" I'm sure Lilly doesn't know, but her contemplative tone probably sounds like a death threat to my next-door neighbor, if his increasingly strained expression is any indication. "Would you mind if accompany you? This may be a little sudden, but I'm considering being a candidate myself."

Say what now…?

"S-Sure! Fine by me!" Kenji's hasty reply comes before I could ask what on earth she's talking about, and I'm further kept from voicing my shock by the terrified whisper he sends in my direction. "You're sure about the publicity protection thing, right?"

You think Lilly didn't hear that? Well, at least she's pretending she didn't…

"I'm positive."

It seems I managed to reassure Kenji somewhat, as he succeeds in putting some of his fake cheer back into action. "We better get going then. Later, man!"

Looking both reluctant and eager to leave, Lilly bows once more. "Good night, Hisao. Sorry about before."

I give a tired sigh. "…Good night."

A few seconds pass, and they're gone.

* * *

_Music track: Nocturne_

As I feared: reading, studying, homework - they're all hopeless. My thoughts seem to go every which way but in the direction I'd like to direct them.

Maybe I should have accompanied those two to the council room. Kenji might need an interpreter, even if Lilly doesn't. Still, chances are seeing Shizune would make me lose it. I have to wait until Friday to confront her; with that much preparation, I can hopefully keep myself in check long enough.

Yes, that sounds awful, I know, but it's nonetheless the truth.

I rest my head on my arms sprawled across the desk. It's like this feeling of total exhaustion become the norm for me recently. I should be worried about it, but for some reason I'm not; I probably can't bring myself to care even about that anymore.

All in all, it looks like I've just hit rock bottom.

So pathetic. Should I just head to bed, and hope for some better luck getting a bit of sleep than yesterday?

Nah, I don't feel like getting up from my chair right now. I guess I'll just go to sleep right here…

…

I can hear the door open. Damn, I should've locked it.

"Hey." An unmistakable male voice sounds from right next to me.

"God damnit, Kenji. Learn to knock…" I mumble, refusing to move a muscle.

"I just wanted to say thanks," he goes on, ignoring my protests as usual. "It went without a hitch, exactly like you said. Although, man, it was still creepy as hell. I went there and had to wait in front of the locked door for who knows how long in the company of that blond killer, before that Hakamichi girl came out for some reason."

I want to tell him to shut up and get out, but the horrible truth is that I'm actually interested in finding out what happened. Argh…

"…And then?" I mutter in a resigned voice.

"It was the craziest shit, man! She took my declaration, read it, and just nodded!" Kenji exclaims with horror. "No complaints about procedure, no rants about being too late to sign up, nothing!"

He might be exaggerating, but I have to admit that I also expected her to be more reluctant to accept a new candidate a mere three days before the election date. Strange.

"Hey, that declaration or whatever did contain that you wanted to be a candidate, right?" I ask, just to make sure.

"Of course! Come on, I'm not crazy!" I have to wonder about that. "Anyway, that's not all. I was starting to suspect it was a trap and when the blonde spoke up I was sure she's going to kill me, but she only asked me to write down that she wanted to run in the elections too… My life was at stake, so I had no choice. I had to defile my declaration by adding that to the bottom of the page. And you know what happened then?!"

"No, but I suspect you're going to tell me."

"That Hakamichi girl looked at it and just nodded again!" Kenji declares in a grave tone.

"Uh-huh…" I mutter under my breath.

Really, what was Lilly trying to do? Was that some desperate attempt to get a reaction out of Shizune? Something that would give her a hint about her abrupt departure? Well, in that case she was bound to be disappointed. Shizune's behavior might be unusual for her and Kenji, but now that I think about it, it's nothing new to me anymore.

"That's when I realized something," he continues, now back in full-blown conspiracy mode. "Luckily for us, the feminists are not as united as I thought. Seems like there's some serious infighting going on, with battles for positions of power lasting to the bitter end. This must be one of them. I mean, it's just weird for someone to leave school a few months before graduation, isn't it? Well, get this, Hisao: I think that Hakamichi girl is not leaving because she wants to. She was kicked out. By _her_."

"Her…? You mean Lilly?" I can't believe I seriously considered the possibility for a second before realizing who he meant.

"Who else? They've hated each other's guts for some time, right? And there I was, stuck in the middle of a showdown between two feminist bosses. Fucking terrifying, man." Kenji falls silent for a second, and when I hear his voice again, he sounds more distant, like he turned his back to me. "Anyway… Not gonna lie, I almost felt sorry for that council president girl. This world is a cruel place, Hisao. The small fishes get eaten by the bigger ones, then those get eaten by the even bigger fishes, which are eaten by the really huge ones and so on… and in the end, they all get eaten by me. Kinda sad, if you think about it."

How I am supposed to respond to that, I have no idea.

"But you know the name of the game, dude." His voice brightens again. "Thanks to you, we've taken an important step towards stopping the feminist disease. You've proven yourself; I'm now confident that I can share all my secrets with you. They will be in good hands."

Oh no. Somebody kill me.

"Of course, it'd probably be too much for you to handle everything at once, so I'll give you the information in small doses. It's safer that way for the both of us. So for now, you can have this."

I finally find the strength to raise my head from the desk to see what he's talking about. Kenji is holding a dirty, battered mobile phone in his hand. Looking like it may fall apart by itself in any given moment, it's a small miracle that it still appears to be working.

"What do you want me to do with this…?"

"Check out the video on the memory card. I've brought you a nice piece of intel," he says, looking very proud of himself. "I'd never take the risk of making a call, but I did use the phone to gather some evidence last year. You have no idea about the horrors I uncovered. There was some sick, sick shit on this phone, man… I had to delete most of it because of a security breach, but there's still a file left that may be useful to you."

I highly doubt that. But, well… he's giving me this as a token of gratitude, so…

"Thanks." I try to smile while taking the phone and putting it on my desk.

"Not a problem, man." Kenji waves at me as he heads towards the exit. "See you around."

As the door closes behind him, I stare blankly at the phone's cracked screen. The clock had been set to Greenwich Mean Time for some odd reason.

Eh, what can I lose? It's not like I have anything better to do, right?

I browse through the folders of the device in the file manager. Kenji wasn't joking, the phone had been wiped clean almost completely. There are no contacts, no text messages, no pictures, no installed programs, nothing. Only one medium-sized file in the "Videos" folder.

Pressing "down" once, I select it - and then hesitantly push the "OK" button in the middle.

_Music track: Concord_

I see a couple of bushes. They're very close to the camera, as if the person holding the phone is trying to hide behind them. From the lighting, I assume it has to be sometime late in the afternoon.

I can make out a faint but very familiar voice. "Err… um… what are you doing over there?"

Is that… Yuuko? Nah, it can't be.

"Sssh, quiet! You'll expose my position!" Well, I certainly don't have to guess who this is. "Go check out the other stalls, I'm on a mission right now!"

Since there's no reply, I can only assume the mysterious girl did as he said.

Kenji with a member of the opposite sex? Man, that's some shock… Whoever she is, I feel sorry for her.

The camera finally moves away from the bushes, but only ends up facing a nearby tree, which keeps growing in size as he runs toward it. I guess that's going to serve as the new cover against whoever Kenji intends to spy on.

Again, I can hear, if only barely, the sounds of conversation from nearby. Before I can make out anything of what the voices are saying, however, they're drowned out by another.

"Surveillance log, entry 13." Due to his excitement, Kenji seems to be struggling to keep his voice down. "The Tanabata festival finally gave me an opportunity that is well worth the deadly risks I'm taking just by being here. No, if anyone wants to know, this is not a date. For the first time, I can get near the heart of the feminism that infests this damn school. The leaders of the conspiracy. The worst nightmare of free men everywhere."

Slowly, carefully, Kenji sticks the phone out from behind the tree.

I can see a stall covered by blue and red fabric, with a couple of plastic tables and chairs next to it. Almost all the chairs are occupied by people eating something from the disposable plates in front of them.

Why does this look so familiar? A year ago I didn't even know a place like Yamaku Academy existed…

Wait, something's moving. Two girls appear behind the stall, dressed in waitress outfits. A third hurries after them, carrying a tray in her hand with two glasses of soda on it.

The resolution of the video is very bad, but the first and the third girl seem to have long hair, blond and brown, while the second one's hair is short and dark… and… she seems to be wearing glasses…

Damn. I remember. The photo I saw in her room, it was taken at the same time. It's Lilly, Shizune… and Misha.

"The Student Council," Kenji states in a disgusted tone. "Our greatest, craziest, most fearsome enemy."

Oh shut up already, I want to hear them talk!

"…we should hurry to make more." I can finally make out Lilly's voice. "This demand is quite unexpected, so much so that we are almost out of food."

Shizune is not looking at her as she speaks but at Misha instead, for obvious reasons.

She's not translating though. Her hands don't move at all.

"Oh… sorry, sorry~! I'm sorry, Lilly! Wait, I have to put the tray down somewhere…" I've never, ever heard Misha talk like that. She sounds… flustered. Nervous.

[Lilly says we need to make more food quick!]

She finally manages to relay the message, and Shizune's answer comes without a second of delay.

[Don't worry, I was prepared for this of course.] She whirls around and reaches under the stall, only to turn back a moment later. [Where are the noodle packages?]

Misha freezes in place, as if she had just been accused of stealing them all.

[I… I don't know. I have no idea, Shicchan, really!]

Shizune gives a silent sigh. [Calm down. I obviously wanted to ask Lilly, not you.]

The penny drops.

"Oh~! Err… Lilly, Shicchan wants to know where you've put the noodle packages."

Lilly seems confused. "I don't remember even touching those. If I'm not mistaken, Shizune brought them here along with the other ingredients. We have already used up six packages, aren't the rest supposed to be at the same place?"

"I… really don't know…"

Now it's Lilly's turn to sigh. "Could you please ask Shizune?"

Misha tenses up again. Memorizing the previous three sentences and presenting them to Shizune seems to require an enormous mental effort from her.

I have to say, this isn't the most efficient method of communication. She makes a lot of subtle and not-so-subtle mistakes, seems to translate only when asked, and even then she quotes the speaker instead of just translating the words as they come.

Combined with her odd mood, reactions and unusual hairstyle, it feels like I'm looking at a completely different person: a shy, nervous girl who is visibly unsure of herself.

It's so strange, I don't know what to think. How can someone change this much in just a year?

Or… did she change at all? Is the person I've come to know the real Shiina Mikado? Her overly energetic, bubbly personality always seemed unusual to an extent. Is it nothing but a front she puts up to keep people from seeing this? The truth?

On the rare occasions when I saw Misha sad, I always thought that it was so unlike her to act that way, and I instantly felt an urge to cheer her up, to bring her back to her usual joyful self.

But, it turns out, perhaps for her those moments were in fact the most real.

"I found them," Lilly appears from under the stall with a plastic package full of noodles in hand, triumph apparent in her voice. "It seems we now have everything we need. Misha, could you light the stove while I chop up the vegetables?"

Misha turns towards the portable gas stove behind them at a snail's pace, approaches it with similarly excruciating slowness, and finally picks up a box of matches into her slightly trembling hand. If I was watching a live video stream or a movie, this is the moment when I'd begin to worry that she's going to blow everyone up.

Suddenly, a hand appears on her shoulder. I recognize the hand's owner to be Shizune as she steps closer, Lilly obscuring her from view until now. I wish I could lean to the side, as I can barely see the signs they're making.

[What's wrong?]

A blunt question, as expected.

Misha's hands are moving about in the air, but I don't think it's the distance, the angle or the video's resolution that's making me believe they're not forming coherent words.

[Look, just calm down a bit, okay? If the customers keep pouring in like that we'll have to work quickly.]

I think I can finally see what Misha is signing, but it doesn't make me much wiser, since she seems to be only repeating a single word.

[But… but… but…]

Then without warning, the words explode out of her without much regard to whether Shizune can understand them or not.

"But Shicchan, I've never used a gas stove before~! It's really, really dangerous! And there are so many people here and they're all staring at me, and this outfit doesn't fit, and you're all speaking so fast I can't keep up, and the weather looks like it might rain right now or in a minute or two, and that makes me sleepy but I know I can't be sleepy right now, and… and…"

Please stop. It's so depressing to see you like this…

As if she heard my plea, Misha falls silent.

That's not true of course. Shizune is holding up an index finger, pushing it close to Misha's lips. You don't need to understand sign language to know what that means.

Looking pleased by her reaction, Shizune lowers her hand and gives her a warm smile.

[You're doing great.]

My eyes widen as I notice the effect those few simple hand movements have on Misha.

"You…you really think so?" For the first time, I see her arms and mouth move in parallel.

[Of course. This setup might not be the most efficient way of handling things, but we're having so many customers here because we're all doing a great job. You, me and Lilly as well.]

Before my very eyes, the flustered, insecure girl slowly disappears, replaced by someone all the more familiar. I know it's impossible, but even her long brown hair seems to have acquired a pinkish tint to it.

"Okay then, Shicchan! I'll try my best!"

That grin…

"But… please help me with the wok, okay? I don't want to burn the noodles by mistake…"

Shizune dismisses the concern with a wave of her hand.

[It's not a problem if they get burnt a little. After all, what does something like that matter when you have three cute girls working hard to make food just for you?]

"Wahahahaha~!"

About to chop a carrot to pieces, Lilly's knife-holding hand freezes in the air as Misha's laughter makes the microphone crackle. She involuntarily winces a little.

On the other hand, I find myself wishing the laughter would never stop.

This is not a mere front. It can't be. But then… what on earth is it?

"Lilly, the stove is ready~!"

"Thank you, I'll be there in just a minute," she answers, turning her head slightly.

Hey… Even though she can't see and her eyes are closed, it looks as if she's staring straight at the camera…

"By the way, Kenji, why don't you come out of hiding? We still have a bit of fried noodles left, and we would gladly give you some if you'd like…"

My hall-mate's panicked voice drowns out everything else. "Oh shit, I've been discovered! Aborting mission!"

No, wait, don't-!

The screen turns black, and a second later I'm looking at the contents of the "Videos" folder again. Nothing's there but a single, medium-sized file.

_Music track: Friendship_

I keep staring at the battered phone in silence. For some reason, it feels like I just learned more about Misha than I did ever since I've got here. If I could only make sense of what I saw…

Either way, it looks like I owe Kenji some thanks yet again. This is starting to get hugely embarrassing.

I stand up from the chair and change into my pajamas, getting ready to finally go to bed, while my mind keeps mulling over the contents of that year-old video.

Does it really matter if I understand her or not? After all, until recently I was content just going with the flow. I tried not to think about it too much: Misha was Misha, and she did what she did. That was all fine by me. Now, however, I'm beginning to realize that I'm falling into the same trap Shizune did earlier. Nearly word by word, even.

And anyway, the bliss of ignorance is just no longer enough. Both of them did things I would have never expected them to do, and while I may have given up on Shizune, I don't want to do the same to Misha.

Even if I still won't understand, I want to know more about her. About her personality, her past. About her plans for the future. And then maybe… if all else fails, maybe I could accept that she does what she does once more.

Do I still have a chance? Will our relationship be able to survive Shizune's departure? I can only hope.

I lie down on the bed and pull the covers over my eyes.

Hope is still better than nothing. It gives me strength to see things through. And then, when this mess with Shizune is finally over and I haven't been expelled from school or thrown into jail, I'll visit Misha in the hospital again… and apologize to her for everything.

First thing on Saturday.

The end of the week can't come quickly enough.

* * *

_Music track: Stride_

Friday finally arrived with an unusual, misty weather - and promptly turned all my plans upside down.

Man proposes, God disposes, right? Looks like Friday is out to teach me the meaning of this proverb in painful detail.

The reason for that being… well, as impossible as it may sound, Misha came to school today.

On one hand, I'm happy to see her. Her stay in the hospital was supposed to last well over one week, so her recovery must be going better than expected… or, well, it's also possible that she just ignored the doctors' advice and came no matter what. She's visibly far from healed: the cast is still on her right foot, she can't put any weight on it and she must use a pair of crutches to get around. But even so, the very fact that she can walk on her own is encouraging.

On the other hand, though, she being here completely terrifies me. She knows nothing about what's going on. She has no idea that this is Shizune's last day here at Yamaku, that the elections will be held today… and that I'm going to try my best to stop the whole thing.

From the second she limps into the classroom, I feel like I'm watching some kind of psychological thriller unfold. Our classmates rush to her, bombarding her with questions about how she's feeling, how long the cast needs to stay on and so on and so forth. I sit in my chair with my nerves on edge, unable to move a muscle, anxiously waiting the moment when Shizune or the elections are brought up and all hell breaks loose.

The moment refuses to arrive. Strangely enough, no one even goes near either topic, even though I have the feeling that Misha would like to ask them about it; she glances at me and towards Shizune's empty chair often as she tries to satisfy our classmates' curiosity with a moderately fake-sounding cheer in her voice. They don't give her a chance to steer the conversation in that direction, however.

This can't be anything but deliberate. They must at least suspect that Misha doesn't know, and don't want to be the ones to break the news to her.

So I guess rumors of the conflict within the Student Council have finally started to spread. Shizune's sudden transfer must have raised people's curiosity, and if Lilly managed to figure out that something isn't right, then it wouldn't be impossible for others to likewise connect the dots.

By chance, my classmates have become my accomplices in this little game of deception. I can't believe I'm feeling relief over this.

The disgusting sensation is only fleeting, however. My anxiety gets twice as worse once Misha arrives to her seat at the neighboring desk.

"…Good morning, Hicchan," she greets me in an odd voice as she slides carefully into her chair, balancing her weight on her good leg. She lays her crutches down to the floor, her eyes not leaving me for a second.

That's it. I can't take this anymore.

"M-Morning." My legs almost move on their own as I jump to my feet. "Sorry, but I need to run, I have something to take care of."

Without another word, I flee the classroom, deciding that it's probably for the best if I skip all morning classes today.

I'm such a coward.

* * *

I spend most of the time before lunch break wandering around the school building. The thick fog completely isolates the place from its surroundings; you can't see anything but a gray haze through the windows. It's almost as if Yamaku was transported into a pocket dimension to shield the rest of the world from the earth-shattering events that will soon be set into motion inside it.

Well, perhaps not earth-shattering for most people, but they definitely feel that way for me. I'm risking a lot with what I'm about to do, in order to achieve something that may prove to be largely pointless in the end.

And still, if I don't do it, then no one will stand up to Shizune and her selfish idiocy, and that is something I will not allow to happen. She was the one who took things too far first.

The first step is to throw a wrench into her election plans. Unfortunately for her, Shizune delayed things until the last possible moment: if the elections can't be held today, then she won't be able to take part in the procedures at all. That is all I'm after. If the school decides to organize a new round of elections at a later date, that is no concern of mine. Shizune will no longer be around to see it.

The second and similarly important step is to confront her. She's been living in denial for too long about what she can and cannot do, and what she can get away with. I've been evading her far too much as well; it's time to give her a piece of my mind in a way she won't forget any time soon. She needs to know why I did what I did. She might choose to ignore everything I tell her anyway, but at least she'll no longer be able to claim ignorance.

And no matter how it'll go, by tomorrow Shizune will be out of my life for good.

Well, good riddance, right?

Right?

…Damn it.

It's almost time. I climb the stairs to the second floor and head towards the storage room at the end of the corridor. Everywhere I go, photocopied replicas of the one and only "Declaration of Independence For All Men" litter the walls. From what I've heard, Kenji put them up as part of his "campaign" with the Student Council's written consent - Shizune must really not care about anything anymore.

Well, putting them here was pointless, since barely anyone ever comes by. That is one of the reasons I chose this place; the other being the small, red box on the wall next to the storage room entrance.

There's only a single line of text on the transparent plate in front, printed in large bold letters.

**IN CASE OF FIRE BREAK GLASS**

This is the risky part. The alarm is connected directly to the local fire department; it is anything but a toy, and I do believe the school punishes those who trigger it in vain accordingly. I'm not sure if there's criminal liability involved, even.

Worse still, if they fail to find the broken alarm box while evacuating the school and don't shut the thing off by themselves… I'll probably have to admit that I did it, at least if I want to keep this from getting out of hand. Otherwise the place will be swarmed by fire engines before long, resulting in the horrible embarrassment of the entire school staff - all thanks to me. I don't want that; but even if I didn't care, such an outcome would make my situation look even bleaker should they eventually find out that I was the culprit on their own.

At least now I could claim that I tripped and triggered the alarm by accident… but I'm not sure how far that'll get me either. I'll be in big trouble no matter what.

Still, there's simply no way around this. If I don't break that glass in exactly two minutes and twelve seconds, I might as well give up on the whole thing altogether.

Two minutes and nine seconds now…

Seven… five… three-

_Music track: School Days_

"Here you are."

I can feel my blood freeze. I glance back ever so slowly, dread filling all corners of my mind.

I'm completely busted.

"The mysteriously disappearing Nakai, who turns up in the morning but inexplicably vanishes when classes are about to start."

Mutou is standing behind me, eyeing me with a hard look.

"But… how…"

How can he be here?!

"I left the class with a group assignment, in case you were wondering. Right now, I was on my way to the student council room to check with Hakamichi that everything is ready," he states in a dry tone. "I was thinking I might also find you there, but from the looks of it I was sadly mistaken. You were simply skipping classes, correct?"

I can't think of any viable excuse. My brain has ground to a halt. "…Yes, sir. I'm sorry."

Mutou crosses his arms over his chest. "Nakai, what in blue blazes is wrong with you? You've been acting like you're in a coma all week, and now you're skipping classes for no good reason… this is unlike you. No, not like you at all."

I have no answer for him. I don't know what I could say.

Instead, I opt to just stare at the floor. Tick-tock, tick-tock… The sounds of an imaginary alarm clock echo in my mind, reminding me of precious seconds slowly slipping away.

"Alright, listen." I glance up. Mutou's expression seems to have relented slightly. "I know your friends gave you a rough time this week. I have to say, when I was told that Mikado was hit by a car and you might have suffered another heart attack… I haven't gotten much sleep that night either."

I gawk at him. This must be the first time I've heard Mutou talk like this.

A second passes, and he continues in his usual tone like nothing happened. "Even so, you need to pull yourself together: what you're doing now accomplishes little. Or am I wrong? What do _you_ think? Did skipping my physics class make you feel any better?"

"No, sir." I mechanically shake my head.

He hasn't got the faintest idea why I'm here. I sort of understand that he's trying to help me, but all he's doing is making me more and more frustrated. How long have we been standing here? Am I already out of time? I can't tell anymore.

Mutou, sadly, cannot see anything beyond the fact that I gave him the answer he was hoping for. He gestures towards the corridor behind him. "Then we should go back to the classroom. You probably haven't noticed, but Mikado was released from the hospital this morning; she came to school straight away also, despite the nurse's fervent protests. I assume she would be happy to see you…?"

He's waiting for me to get moving. But I can't. If I go with him now, everything will be ruined. The elections will go without a hitch, and Shizune will leave… just like that. And yes, Misha is probably waiting for me in the classroom… with questions that need to be answered. Or perhaps she already knows. And she's hating me for it.

No, no, I cannot leave. I can't! I… I have to do something!

With a sudden, barely controlled movement, I throw myself against the wall behind me. I don't know if I made a passable impression of slipping or not, and I don't really care either; my arms flail in the air, hoping to somehow hit that little plastic box.

I hit nothing but air and the hard, unforgiving plaster. I glance to the side from my slumped position on the floor; the fire alarm seems to be light years away. I wasn't even close.

Still, I likely wasn't far enough to leave any sort of doubt about what I was trying to do, or even if I did, my gaze just now betrayed my intentions perfectly.

There's nothing but deafening silence all around me, and I can't bring myself to look up at the teacher again. Come on, say something already.

"It looks like you forgot about a few things, Nakai." Mutou's voice is low and reserved. "Well, no matter. Let's review what you've learned. What do you remember of the fundamental principles of scientific experiments?"

…Eh? Where did that come from?

Driven by surprise, I manage to meet his gaze once more, but end up none the wiser. Judging from his expression and tone alone, I might as well be sitting in physics class right now.

"Research needs to be conducted in a way that allows for precise measurements, minimizes outside interference, while also favoring methods that are easy to reproduce should we want to double-check our results. Simplicity and safety are also important concerns," he continues his bizarre train of thought, not giving me time to answer the question. Not that I could have answered him at this point. "The Sun provides plenty of plasma to study, for example, but because it's far away from us, creating plasma by ourselves is often better for some experiments. There is also more than one way to create new atomic nuclei from the nuclei of lighter elements, and we have to use the method that suits are goals best. Or to bring up a less esoteric example…" His gaze slides up the wall. "…if my goal is to speak with Hakamichi before the voting without the chance of being interrupted by others, I could certainly try to make it so that only the two of us are present in the school building. But that would violate several of the above guidelines: success isn't guaranteed, the method is overly complicated and unsafe, and its ethics are questionable. Instead, I need to realize that it doesn't actually matter if the school is empty or not; as long as the voting is not yet underway, everyone will remain in their respective classrooms, as per our agreement. No one will interfere; I can just go down and talk to Hakamichi right now, as simple as that. Did you follow all of this, Nakai?"

"Uh… Err…" I think my eyes are nearly popping out of their sockets right now. "…Y-Yes, sir."

The scariest part is that I'm not bluffing. I do understand what he's trying to say… even if I can hardly believe it.

"Good." Mutou nods curtly and stands aside. There's a strange, uncharacteristically cheerful glint in his eyes. "Off you go then."

I can only give a similarly miniscule nod in reply. I somehow get to my feet, and hurry towards the stairs.

_Music track: Stride_

I owe an apology to Mutou about what I thought of him before. I was wrong. He's… I guess he's an awesome homeroom teacher - or at least a lot more perceptive than what I gave him credit for.

I'm the one who's not worthy of his trust.

Apparently, from what he just told me, he seems convinced that I want to talk Shizune out of leaving. He might not know the details, but he can still guess that this was her own idea from the beginning, and when it comes to the "personal reasons" necessitating the transfer, one should look no further than me and Misha. He must think that I want to seize this final opportunity to make things right somehow.

But he's wrong on that count. If Shizune wants to leave, then she can leave for all I care. What I want is… is…

What the hell do I want exactly? I know the things I wanted to do, but to what end? What was the true goal of this "experiment"?

As far as sabotaging the elections go, the answer… well, when viewed from this angle the answer is rather obvious I think.

I wanted to make Shizune feel miserable.

The first rule I've laid down was that this shouldn't be about petty revenge, and then I went and tried to do exactly that. And to think how much I was willing to give up for it…

What has gotten into me?! Even if I managed to get away with it, this would've made me no better than her! If it weren't for Mutou, I…

Hold it. Stop. I need to calm down. This isn't the time to panic.

The second half of my plan still stands; I need to see that part through. I owe as much both to myself and to Shizune to tell her the truth about her selfish machinations.

Yes, the truth needs to be brought to light - and I'm going to do that right now.

I run even faster down the stairs, knowing that I absolutely have to reach the council room before the bell. Come on, come on….

I pass by a fellow student at the last flight of stairs, and a couple of seconds later I'm finally on the ground floor. Now I only need to-

"Hicchan?"

_Music track: Caged Heart_

The voice stops me in my tracks.

I was in such a hurry that I didn't recognize her from the corner of my eye as I ran by. Misha is looking at me from around the middle of the stairs; the way she balances herself with her good foot and both crutches on a single step is a rather worrying sight.

This just isn't my day. Why the heck did she get out of class? And why now? Why at the worst possible moment?

"Where have you been, Hicchan…? Are you here to see Shicchan too?" she asks with confusion written across her face, mixed with a hint of sadness and exasperation. "The others told me that the elections will be during lunch break… but why? It's still too early! What's going on?"

No one told her anything still? Really? Not even Mutou?

Well, honestly, I don't want to either. I mean, why? Why the hell does it always have to be me?!

…That being said, this time I'm pretty much cornered. I can't simply walk away now, after all, can I? It's not like she can run after me, but…

Maybe I should just resign myself to my fate. I can't avoid this, no matter how hard I may try. I wanted to tell her about what's happening sooner or later anyway, tomorrow to be exact. What difference does a day make, not counting my cowardly wish to delay things as much as possible?

Obviously, there's one notable difference: Shizune's still here. Hearing the news, Misha will no doubt want to talk to her.

I don't want that.

I don't want that at all. I don't want to continue with the same stupidity from last week. I don't want Misha to meet her. Shizune should just… she should just go the hell away!

…W-What am I saying…?

What… what am I so afraid of? I was about to confront Shizune myself! So what if Misha's also there?! What I want to tell Shizune is simply the truth! Nothing but the truth!

The truth… right…?

Damn it… Damn it!

My head feels like it's about to explode as my right hand tears into my hair in frustration. And then…

All conflicting thoughts and emotions are washed away by the sound of the bell.

Lunch break has arrived.

Oh crap! And I'm still not at the council room! I snap my head back, my eyes on the far end of the corridor. I must get there, _now_!

"Hicchan, wait!" I hear Misha shout after me as my legs begin to move.

Despite my crazed frenzy to get going, I freeze in place. Somehow, I instinctively know what is about to happen, even without looking in her direction. Two things flash through my mind in quick succession:

Misha is not used to the thought that her crutches impede her movement, and…

…she easily gets dizzy on the stairs.

"Ah-?!"

Oh no…

By the time I whirl around, she's already losing her balance. The crutch slips from her right hand; she struggles to stay on her good foot, but the side of her injured leg is now completely without support. Wobbling for a second, she quickly falls forward.

Time slows to a crawl. I watch her flailing form plunge through the air as I make a leap; my momentum carries me much further than intended and I feel a jolt of pain as my body crashes against the bottom of the stairs.

I can't let that distract me. My eyes do not leave Misha for a moment as I reach out and catch her, grabbing her by the waist before she falls head-first onto me. I can't stop her movement completely, however: my arms wrapped around her in desperation, we roll away from the stairs on the floor a couple of times, before finally coming to a halt.

_Music track: Innocence_

…

I am lying on my back, feeling out of breath. My body hurts like hell.

Not that I mind much. It's nothing compared to what could have happened - if I walked away from her previously, or even if I hesitated for just a moment now. A disturbing thought occurs to me out of nowhere: if I didn't hesitate to go after her and Shizune a week ago… maybe I could have pulled her away from the car as well.

"Hicchan, are you okay?"

What a stupid… I should be asking that, not her!

"Um… You can let go now. I… hahaha, I can't really move like this."

Her words make me realize that I'm still basically pinning her to my chest with an iron grip. Feeling embarrassed, I let my hands fall to the side.

She can't stand up the way she is, of course, but she manages to prop herself up with both hands, crawling a few inches forward to look me in the face.

"Thank you, Hicchan." She smiles. It's the first genuine smile I saw from her today. "Are you sure you're alright~?"

This again…? Exhaling irritably, I avert my gaze in defiance. "I'm fine."

Oh for crying out loud… I'm sounding just like some sulking preschool kid…

I glance back at Misha, wanting to apologize, but the words get stuck in my throat. She isn't looking at me, but at the corridor ahead of her with widening eyes. I somehow manage to turn around on the floor and raise me head to see what is happening.

Shizune is standing there with a large cardboard ballot box in her hands. There's also a stack of papers on top of it, most likely to be used for the voting. Her posture is odd, like she froze in mid-step or something.

Anyway, she's right there, and that means… that means I still have time! I can't sign like this, but I only need to get up and…

I can't move. It feels like all of my limbs are turning to stone as I watch Shizune's gaze wander from the thrown-away crutches on the stairs to me, and finally to Misha.

There's something in her eyes, something impossibly close to… despair.

Why?

Before my mind can even attempt to make sense of what's in front of me, something even more incomprehensible happens: strength seems to leave her form entirely, and I see her slump to her knees. The box falls out of her hands. The sheets of paper fly every which way, covering the floor all around.

After a few seconds of shocked silence, low, muffled sobs reach my ears.

Shizune is crying.

I don't understand.

"Hicchan," I flinch at Misha voice, coming from above me in a tone that I simply cannot place, "will you help me get to her… please?"

Feeling completely lost, my only option is to silently obey. I put my arm across her shoulder while she leans onto me; we slowly stand up and then limp towards Shizune's still form.

She looks up at us as we get closer. The tears flowing down her cheeks are now clearly visible.

I can't believe it. I never saw Shizune cry. She never did anything of the sort, retaining some of her aura of authority even when she was running away from me… from us. She remained firm in her decision even when she shut us out. Her firmness was perhaps one of the things that hurt me the most. This… this sight is simply unreal.

My baffled thoughts almost cause me to miss the moment when her arms begin to move.

[I'm sorry…]

That's what she said. There's no way I could have misread that.

[I… didn't notice you were missing until I reached the convenience store, and… by the time I got back… the ambulance already took both of you away… I…] She lowers her head again, breaking down completely. [I'm so sorry…!]

My mouth opens, but I cannot spit out a single word.

Perhaps it's better this way. All the things I wanted to tell her, that "truth" I wanted to throw in her face so badly… it all feels so incredibly stupid right now, I can't even put it into words.

It has become clear enough that even an idiot like me can see: Shizune doesn't want to leave Yamaku because she got fed up with us. She wants to leave because she feels guilty about the accident, and could no longer bring herself to face us.

But how… how could I misjudge the situation so badly?! This can't be right! How can she be sorry, when… I mean she didn't… she didn't even visit Misha in the hospital…!

…Not true.

No, she actually did. She also left flowers.

It's no wonder those caught my attention back then. When I was admitted to the hospital after my heart attack, my room was soon filled with flowers and other get-well gifts, but the one that interested me the most was a small posy with tiny blue petals. The reason was simple: they said Iwanako brought those for me. It became my obsession for a while, before her first visit; one of the first books I read there was on the Japanese language of flowers, Hanakotoba.

Baby blue-eyes: the flowers of apology.

When I saw them next to Misha's bed, I should have known what they meant right away. But I didn't notice because I didn't _want_ to notice.

It certainly was easier that way. Blaming Shizune for everything.

Something snaps me out of my thoughts: Misha is no longer leaning against me. She still holds onto me for support, but also slowly lowers herself to the floor.

Once she's there, she wastes no time to hug her crying friend tightly.

She doesn't say anything. She can't sign like this of course… but, well, I suppose there's also no need for words.

As I watch Shizune's sobs subside somewhat, I'm reminded of Kenji's video I saw a couple of days ago. The situation feels so similar; only this time, it's Misha who's there for Shizune instead of the other way around. This must be the moment Misha always dreamed of - even if I'm certain that it's something she could have done without in this situation.

She's a great friend. And I'm a great moron.

Misha was right all along. While I was busy searching for excuses to hate my ex-girlfriend who _I_ cheated on to begin with, the girl whose moment of weakness I took advantage of back then was trying to find a way to reach out to her.

She knew me better than I knew myself. I kept trying to distance us from Shizune, because the mere thought of her upset me, but why was that, really? Was it because of what she did, or was it because of what I did, and what I _didn't_ do?

"Thinking that I already blew my chances to make things right myself is all too easy." That is what I told myself before I went to Misha's room a few weeks ago.

Wise words I guess, the problem is that I missed half the point. If I really meant that, I would have waited before the door of the council room after Shizune threw me out. But I didn't really go there to make amends; I just wanted to shift the responsibility to someone else. The rest of my babble was simply a means to an end.

Misha went and did what I never dared or wanted to do. She did not give up even in the face of refusal.

I could say that I blew it completely - but that would equal to falling into the same trap as before. The least I can do now is to give it a try myself as well.

My odds? …Who cares about my odds?

I see Shizune follow me with her gaze as I also lower myself to the floor. This will make it easier.

[I'm the one who should apologize.] My signs come off as rather haphazard, but I hope I'll manage to get my point across. [I mistreated the both of you, badly. And while I may have admitted to some of it before, I never showed much remorse, did I? Truth is, I was way too preoccupied with self-pity to notice anything. I feel like a despicable idiot, and… well, it may be too late to say this now, but I'm sorry. I simply lack the means to tell you how much I regret all of this.]

I'm trying to keep my gaze focused solely on her as my hands form the words, but I still notice that Misha pulled slightly away to look at what I have to say as well. As if I wasn't nervous enough already…

Oh, shut up. Less complaints, more honesty.

[But Shizune, if what I say still matters to you the tiniest bit… please don't leave us like this. I… I don't want you to leave. Even during the past month, when we barely met… the fact that you weren't around, that you left us, just like that… it drove me totally crazy. I miss you. _We_ miss you. A lot.] With a deep sigh, the last fragments of bitterness escape me. [Don't tell me you didn't miss us at all…]

My eyes bore into hers for long seconds, and her expression slowly begins to change… but in a rather unexpected way.

Shizune is actually glaring at me. I can't say that I enjoy the feeling, but there's still something pleasantly familiar about this special kind of glare: it has willpower behind it. She's glaring at me because she disagrees, because she thinks I said something dumb, not simply because she hopes that glaring long enough will make me or Misha go away.

This is the girl I came to know, and to love, during the past year. Pathetic as it may sound, I've truly began to fear that she's been lost forever, or may have never existed to begin with except in my misguided fantasies.

[Are you stupid?… Of course… Of course I missed you!]

I can hear Misha laugh, while I manage a hesitant smile. Being scolded never felt better than this. Relief washes over me like a giant waterfall, erasing my remaining doubts completely.

That's right. Thank the gods, the reality warpers or what have you - I wasn't mistaken after all.

Both Misha and Shizune… I love them for who they really are.


	11. Chapter 11: Together

**11. Together**

_Music track: Nocturne_

I am shocked awake by my phone's blaring ringtone.

I reach out and try grabbing it without having to climb out of bed, but my arm is just a couple of inches too short. With a yawn I get to my feet, throwing a sleepy glance at the clock: it's 1:30 in the morning.

My body is mostly on auto-pilot as I pull the charger cable out of the phone and slowly put it to my ear. "Hello?"

"It's about time you picked it up. Don't tell me a child your age is sleeping at this hour? Don't you have anything useful to do? Slothful."

A deep, gruff male voice tells me this in place of a greeting.

Normally, it'd take me a moment to recognize it, especially since its owner is not someone I know very well, but this time, his name occurs to me instantly. Jigoro Hakamichi is not a person you can easily forget.

I'd like to ask him how he managed to track down my number, but I already know where that would lead, so I decide not to press the issue. "Can I help you with something?"

"No, not really. I definitely don't need help from lazy brats like you." He sounds like he's offended by the very idea itself. Does that mean he just called to annoy me? "You would be better off asking for _my_ help, but you clearly lack the wisdom to recognize your betters. So the answer is no, boy - I called you because I want you to take responsibility."

I had a retort on the tip of my tongue, but his last sentence robs me of my ability to respond.

…That's why I hate him. He might talk like some buffoon, but he can still render me speechless with a few words if he really puts his mind to it. How he always manages to find the sensitive subjects like this, I'll never know.

Worse still, the person I should really be angry at is myself. After all, the reason he got to me like this is that I do have a lot to answer for.

Probably interpreting my hesitation as consent, Jigoro goes on.

"I made a mistake. A huge one."

"…Sorry?" I mumble blankly. I must be incredibly tired, because I'd swear I've heard him talking about making a mistake - but surely that can't be possible.

"My huge, fatal mistake was listening to the mindless drivel you threw my way when you barged into my house and made a mess of my fishing equipment." He's speaking, well, shouting even louder now, even though he wasn't very quiet to begin with. "Thanks to you, I made some overly broad and easy-to-abuse commitments and now I am forced to face the consequences. Infuriating."

What…? Am I half-asleep already or is he making no sense at all?

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Of course you don't. You probably don't remember telling Shizune to call me if she needs anything either, do you?"

Oh, come on.

"But… it was you who told me to do that to begin with…!"

"That's unimportant. The reason I came to that godforsaken school for a visit was your insufferable prattling, so everything that took place during the visit was obviously your fault as well." Great. Only a man like him can say that in an entirely serious voice. "But don't try to change the subject. Exactly six days ago, on Sunday, if you're too lazy to count, my daughter, who never calls or sends me text messages, sent me a novel-length text asking me to arrange her transfer from your school to somewhere else. Not only was I forced to read it, even though I hate reading novels on my phone, but I had to spend much of the day talking to your scatterbrained principal and other even more simple-minded officials to fulfill her request."

He momentarily falls silent; I'm not sure if it's for dramatic effect, or because he expects me to say something, but I don't feel like doing so either way.

"But that's not all of it. A few hours ago, just when I was nearly ready with all the paperwork, my daughter sent me yet another insanely long message asking me to call everything off." I involuntarily draw a sharp breath. "It's not that I am overly interested in your crazy affairs, but considering all that happened, I do have one question to ask: _What in the world is going on over there?!_"

I have to hold the phone away from my ear at the end of his rant, and I can still easily hear every single word.

But what am I supposed to tell him?

"We… the three of us had a… a falling out," I mutter in a voice laden with guilt. "But I hope we managed to patch things up yesterday… mostly thanks to Misha, I think."

"Really? And I'd guess this whole commotion was, again, your fault?"

I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. Especially when he's right.

"Yes."

"Predictable." After another short silence, he continues in a slightly lower voice, "Well, finding another school for Shizune has been a hassle anyway. I suppose I won't mind too much if she stays there with you and that other girl. Make sure this never happens again."

With that, and without any sort of proper farewell, he hangs up.

I put my phone down with a sigh. As before, the conversation with Jigoro proved to be a debilitating experience. No surprises here.

What I don't understand is… why do I have this small, stupid smile on my face?

…I better get back to bed.

* * *

_Music track: Afternoon_

It's already well into Saturday afternoon when I finally manage to leave the classroom. Mutou specifically drafted me into cleaning duty, which I normally get a pass on, and even made me help him with some paperwork afterwards. He didn't say a word about it, but I suppose this may be a kind of punishment for the stunts I pulled yesterday.

Well, it's fine by me; I owe him a lot more than this. All things considered, I still got off pretty lightly, anyway.

So, what now? My legs give the answer before I can, carrying me towards the council room with swift steps. Old habits die hard; I remember that it took conscious effort from me _not_ to go there after classes during the past month.

I feel a bit silly. And nervous. I think I'm mostly feeling silly _because_ I'm nervous.

"Hey there, man!" someone calls out to me as I reach the bottom of the stairs on the ground floor.

Yeah right, someone. His identity couldn't be more obvious.

"How's it going, Kenji?" I wave at him as he walks towards me with a spring in his step. "You look to be in high spirits today."

"You bet I am. We won an important battle yesterday, Hisao, against all odds!" he boasts.

"We did? I thought the elections were cancelled…?"

"Come on, man, think! Why else would the feminists call off an event like that, if not because they were afraid that I'd win?"

Err, I think I'll let that pass.

"If you say so. But that means you still didn't actually win in the end, did you?"

"Heh, and so what? Sure, a couple of months as council president would've been nice, but that's not the most important part at all." Kenji easily brushes my comment aside. I don't think I've ever seen him so optimistic. "You know what really matters here? This result means there are plenty of sane people at Yamaku who'd fight for the good cause. People who can take over our work when we're gone. That's awesome, man! I never expected that, and… it sort of makes the shit I went through all these years all worth it. Even without us, the battle goes on."

Finished with his speech, he appears to gaze proudly into the distance - and while he's actually just staring at a fire-extinguisher on the wall, I'm sure that in his mind, he sees an army of anti-feminists gathering together, lining up to take the field.

As ridiculous as he looks right now, for some reason I can't find it in me to make fun of him. All too often during the past month, I think he greatly outranked me in terms of common sense.

"Well, have a nice weekend then, Kenji." I briefly put a hand on his shoulder as I walk by. He still gazes relentlessly at the wall. "And thanks."

All it takes is a couple of seconds, and I'm standing in front of the door leading inside the council room.

I have no idea why I'm hesitating. I know the door isn't locked; they told me they'll wait for me to catch up with them once I'm finished with my after-class duties. Still… I haven't been in this room for almost a month. I haven't been part of the council, I haven't been with Shizune - it's understandable if I'm anxious a bit, right?

Gathering my will, I reach for the handle - but the door opens just before I could grab hold of it. I instinctively back away in alarm.

"Huh…? Lilly?"

She steps through the threshold with a smile. "Oh, it's you, Hisao. I'm sorry if I startled you."

"It's okay, no harm done. It's just… well…"

"Yes, it's rather unusual to see me around the council room, isn't it?" She guesses my thoughts while closing the door behind her. Her smile gets a tiny, barely noticeable speck of guilt to its curve. "The truth is, I've come because I wanted to apologize. Shizune and I may not be on the best of terms, but my actions during the past week did not help matters for anyone, and I do feel regretful about that."

"Well, I… didn't exactly make things easier for anyone myself," I mutter in a hesitant tone, hoping to forestall a possible repeat of her apology in my direction. Few things would make me feel more miserable right now, considering the circumstances.

Luckily, Lilly either didn't plan on it, or managed to take the hint. What am I saying? Lilly can _always_ take a hint.

"The last few days made me reconsider a lot of things, to be honest," she continues. "The lunch break we've spent together a little over a month ago, for one. Remember how I reproved Shizune for trying too hard to make up with Misha? …My goodness, I was being such a hypocrite."

That's a strong word, especially coming from her. "What do you mean?"

She tenses up for a moment, as if realizing that she might have said too much. "I suppose this would need a bit of context. You see, Hisao, for a long time my sister Akira and I had been living by ourselves, as most of our family lives in Scotland. This summer, however, my parents asked us to go and live in Inverness with them, permanently."

Greatly surprised, I try to recall our fishing trip together during summer break. I think Akira said something about the two of them leaving "for a while", but she also said that she has to leave her car behind for good. What does this all mean?

"After much thinking, I decided not to follow their request for the time being," Lilly announces without much fuss or fanfare. "My reasons were manyfold, but one of them, without a doubt, was that… I have a dear friend here who I do not want to leave behind. Some might very well call me thoughtless or selfish, but this was my decision nonetheless, one I did not regret making." She smiles gently once more. "I have told this to Shizune as well: despite what I might say about no one standing up to her, I'm glad that she is part of a circle of friends who look out for each other the way you do. In the end, I think this is what matters the most."

"I… see." Exasperated at my inability to form a more coherent response, I'm almost happy to hear an uncertain voice coming from further down the corridor.

"Um… hello. Sorry, uh… am I interrupting something?"

It's Hanako. Her voice is not only uncertain, but more like a half-whisper - and still, the mere fact that she came to us like this catches me by surprise.

"Oh, not at all." Lilly takes a step in her direction, before momentarily turning her head back towards me. "Thank you for hearing me out, Hisao. Take care."

I give a nod, realizing a bit too late how pointless that is. "See you around, Lilly."

She nods as well; strange as it may seem, now mine doesn't look as pointless after all.

Lilly catches up to Hanako in a few moments, who waves at me sheepishly before the two leave arm in arm, lightly conversing along the way.

"So, how was the newspaper club meeting yesterday?"

"It was nice… I think. Naomi said she likes the… the layout I've made for the front page on Wednesday."

"My, that's some splendid news. I know you worked quite a lot on that."

"Y-Yes. It was pretty fun though…"

Their voices slowly fade into the distance, robbing me of my last excuse to stay put. It was a lame excuse anyway, considering eavesdropping like this isn't the most polite thing to do.

With a sigh, I open the door and step inside the council room.

_Music track: Lullaby of Open Eyes_

Shizune rises from her seat when she notices me, and… and nothing. There's no one else here but her.

But if Misha wasn't in the room when Lilly dropped by, how could they… Oh.

So they really do have some way of talking to each other. It's not that I doubted Misha's word, but this obvious, if indirect piece of evidence still manages to give me pause.

[Hello.]

Shizune greets me with slightly awkward motions. She must also be aware of the peculiar one-month gap that left this situation feeling both natural and odd at the same time.

I try my best to look less nervous, although I fear I might as well try walking on the ceiling.

[Hi. What happened to Misha?]

Obviously expecting the question, she throws me a disapproving glance while leaning slightly forward - a pose that feels a bit artificial but also very effective.

[She was hungry, so I told her to go ahead and have some early dinner. We already finished everything ages ago, and were bored to tears waiting for you to show up.]

[Yes, sorry about that. Mutou had me help with administration after cleaning duty.] I sign quickly, nearly embarrassed. Yeah, that glare is effective indeed. [Are you sure there's nothing left I can help you with?]

The question isn't as meaningless as it might seem. Simply put, I've learned that when Shizune says "we're done", it doesn't always mean that everything's truly finished. Sometimes she simply feels content with pushing the rest to the next day - or she thinks we helped enough, and plans on doing the rest on her own.

When she turns around and heads towards a desk at the wall filled with stacks of paper, I already know which is the case here.

[Help me get these sorted.] She is gazing at me expectantly; I suspect she's ready to add "you asked for it" at the first sign of disappointment on my part.

She won't be seeing any of course. [Okay, I'll get right to it.]

I take a seat at the desk while she sits down at another one further into the room to continue whatever she's been doing when I arrived. We start working, pausing only to exchange a few sentences every now and then - it's nothing special I suppose, but still… it manages to put my mind at ease. The sensation is partly surprising but very much welcome: it feels like the trials of the past month have already begun to fade, as if they were nothing but a strange, unpleasant dream.

No, wait, that can't be right. It's not true that everything is the way it used to be: a month ago, Shizune and I were dating. Am I trying to say that except for that one scene in the guest room, we might as well have been nothing more than close friends?

There's no way I can believe that.

[Right, I wanted to ask you something. Do you know a person named Kenji Setou?] Shizune puts down a sheet of paper to state this troublesome question, snapping me out of my thoughts.

[Yes, he is my next-door neighbor at the dorms.] I answer cautiously. [Why?]

Better test the waters first. I'd rather not reveal more about Kenji than absolutely necessary, now that I think about it. The thought of him and Shizune having a honest conversation while I'm forced to play the role of the interpreter is a greatly disturbing one.

[I saw him only once or twice before, but now he keeps coming here all week for one reason or the other.] She explains with a thoughtful look. [You probably know that he's been a candidate, but there seems to be more to it than that. Just a few minutes ago, he barged into the room, pointed a finger at me, held up a huge sign saying 'we shall meet again' with about a hundred exclamation marks, and then stormed out before I could even give a proper reply. It was really odd.]

Odd doesn't even begin to describe it, but that's nothing unusual. What's truly embarrassing, however, is that Kenji used to be a lot less willing to take the initiative like this, and it was me who talked him into changing his approach.

Shizune seems to be expecting some sort of reply, so I give a small nod. She looks somewhat disappointed by that, but goes on a second later.

[He always looks pretty confident about what he's doing though, and that's interesting. Maybe I'll re-read that 'declaration' thing he gave me on Tuesday; I barely skimmed through it earlier.]

Another small pause. I still don't know what I should be adding to the conversation.

[If you're here the next time he appears, could you introduce us properly? You must know him better than I do.]

[…Alright, if you insist.]

I turn back to my work, but I'm already regretting my curt answer. What made me so distant all of a sudden? Sure, I'd prefer to keep her away from Kenji, but that's starting to feel more and more like some excuse…

I feel a light tap on my shoulder. Turning around, I notice that Shizune is now standing right behind me.

[What's wrong?]

I wish I knew. I really do.

[It's nothing. Sorry.]

My reply can merely delay her next question a few tense seconds. I can't say I didn't see it coming.

[…Are you sure you're okay with this?] Her expression is troubled, becoming even more so when my puzzled look shows that I'm not sure I understood her. Or more like I've become pretty good at pretending. [Are you okay with ignoring everything that happened? Starting over with a clean slate? It's… it's something I'd like to do, but I'm no longer sure if it's really a good thing to hope for. I realize now that most people can't do something like that out of nowhere… or don't want to.]

I gaze at her in silence, and slowly but surely realization forms within my mind.

Most people… including you, Shizune. You might compartmentalize everything that happens around you, but you can't ignore the past completely: you wouldn't worry about this the way you do now otherwise.

I'm really grateful that you do, though.

[You're right, it's not easy for any of us… But as far as I'm concerned, yes, that is what I would like to do.]

But at the same time, it's impossible. Like I said, things are not how they used to be. There's no point in downplaying it: something of value was certainly lost between the two of us - after all, if it wasn't something precious to me, it wouldn't have driven me as crazy as it did in the past month.

She's right, something is wrong, and it's the fact that I'm trying in vain to ignore the obvious. I have to accept, or at least recognize what has changed, or there won't be any closure for either of us.

[But… Shizune… I'm sorry to bring this up out of the blue, but I need to tell you something.]

It takes every ounce of my willpower to keep holding her inquisitive gaze.

[Misha and I… we're dating right now.]

Every passing second feels like an hour as I lower my arms and rest them in my lap.

…

A single blink. That's all the reaction I see from her, before her hands move to reply.

[I know.]

I see just a few simple, straightforward signs - but they take a good couple of moments to sink in.

She knows. I'm shocked, even though part of me is aware of the fact that I shouldn't be. Misha and I made no great secret of our relationship in front of anyone. Perhaps the reason why I didn't expect Shizune to know was my foolish conviction that she was going out of her way to ignore us recently. However, while on the surface she might have tried to do something of the sort, I can see now that was never really true.

That said… I still feel sort of melancholy, somehow.

Shizune's lips curve into a faint smile. That surprises me even more.

[Speaking of whom, you better catch up with her. Looks like you just finished with this anyway.]

A snap my head back to the stacks of paper on the desk, intending to argue, but to my bafflement, I see that she's right: I finished sorting moments before and didn't even notice.

[Misha told me she'll be waiting for us at the rooftop. So go ahead; I will join you a bit later.]

I reluctantly rise from my seat. [But you will really come, right?]

I'm not even sure why I asked that. The worry in my voice must have sounded absurd.

Shizune seems to appreciate it, however. [Of course. I just have a few more things to take care of, and I'll be right there.]

The odd feeling in the pit of my stomach subsides.

[Okay then. We'll be waiting.]

I walk out of the room, slowly closing the door behind me until I hear a sharp click.

It's more than that, I know. I'm also closing the door on an aspect of my life here at Yamaku. On something I cherished, on something I felt was a decisive part of the person I've become here.

It's not easy, it's not happy - but from here on we can all begin things anew.

* * *

_Music track: Romance in Andante II_

I can hardly call this a "once in a lifetime" event. I probably have seen the sunset from the rooftop before, even if I can't recall anything about any of those occasions. But one thing is for sure: no matter how many times I've seen it so far, it has never been as beautiful as this.

The dying sun's reddish-orange rays hit me immediately as I step out of the stairwell, blinding me for a moment before I shield my eyes and take a look around. It's like the entire rooftop has been painted crimson: the fence, the small pebbles on the ground, the worn benches and tables near the edges - and even the hair of the girl sitting on one of said benches with her back to me, the light breeze ruffling her short locks.

If I didn't know she was here, I might not have recognized Misha like this, with so little pink and so much red.

I'm almost next to the bench by the time I realize that this would've been the perfect occasion to sneak up on her. Well, it's possible that she didn't notice me yet…

My plans are immediately ruined by the pair of crutches lying on the floor, which get in the way of my feet and almost make me fall on my face. Pretty sloppy of me; I didn't see those at all.

Startled by the noise, Misha quickly turns in my direction. "Oh, hi, Hicchan. I didn't hear you coming."

Really? Hey, what do you know, in the end I surprised her after all. Although it's not really having the effect I was hoping for…

Thankfully, the smile returns to her face quickly enough. "Have you talked to Shicchan yet~? She said she's going to be super mad if you make her wait for much longer…"

A light chuckle escapes my lips. "Hey, Shizune wasn't that mad. I just came from the council room, she told me where you are, actually. She says she'll join us in a bit."

I plop down on the bench to Misha's right. My eyes linger on her face, bathed in the glow of the setting sun.

"Aren't you going to ask why I'm late?"

She seems to be confused for a second, before breaking out in laughter. "Wahahaha~! Okay-okay, Hicchan, why are you so late~? Were you doing something interesting?"

"Well, actually no, nothing to write home about. I guess it just felt a bit weird that you didn't ask where I've been after waiting so long."

Misha ponders on that for a moment. "Maybe~. But Shicchan already scolded you for that, and you're here now, right~?"

Heh, can't argue with that.

I chuckle with her and reach out, pulling myself closer to her on the bench until our shoulders touch. Even such small physical contact feels soothing, washing away some traces of the unpleasant feeling that struck me before I left the council room.

"You know… I can still hardly believe it," I mutter, leaning back to make myself comfortable.

"Hmm~? Believe what~?"

My gaze wanders towards the horizon. "That things turned out the way they did. That Shizune and us are friends again, and we can sit here looking at the sunset like this. It sounds almost too good to be true, and yet… here we are." I turn back to her, and take her right hand in mine. "Thank you, Misha. I really mean it. This is all thanks to you and you alone."

Her face turns one shade closer to the color of the setting sun. Looks like I've rendered her speechless to the point that she won't even laugh or giggle or anything - I don't think I ever managed to do that before.

This is not the time to pat myself on the back though. My shoulders droop slightly. "And also… I'm sorry. About a lot of things… like about not telling you that Shizune was trying to transfer from Yamaku. And about not believing in you in general, I guess. Honestly, it was like I went out of my way to sabotage everything. I'm really sorry about all of that."

Misha finally finds her voice, although still has difficulty putting her thoughts into words. "Hicchan, you don't have to… I mean I'm not… Hahaha, I mean I didn't do that much, I just… um…"

"Yes, you did. You told me I looked strong when I waited before your door back then, right?" She manages a feeble nod. "Well, that was nothing compared to the last two weeks. Really, I still don't understand how you found the strength to see all of this through."

She cocks her head to the side. "But Hicchan, I already told you that too~. When I decided to try talking to Shicchan, remember?"

Yes, I remember, even if I did not give it much thought before.

With me, she can be strong as well, she said. My mind revisits the memory of the hospital last Sunday, when Misha practically begged me not to leave her alone with her efforts, and then jumps to Kenji's video again, recalling her sudden change in mood and demeanor after a few kind words from Shizune.

I can tell the three are connected, yet I feel like I can't see the forest for the trees.

"But~! Maybe this started a bit earlier, I think…" Misha interrupts my musings, eyeing the railing at the edge of the rooftop, as if the events in question were carved into it. "That little tour around the school with you was really nice, Hicchan. For a lot of reasons, like how you made me see how bad it would be to give up being friends with Shicchan… But that's not the biggest one, you know~."

I watch as her eyes close, paying excruciating attention to her every move and word.

"I was thinking in a… well, in a really, really selfish and stupid way back then. I thought everything that was happening was happening between me and Shicchan. I thought that even if I left, it could hurt the two of us, but no one else would mind much… and you would still be there for her, anyway. But~! When we talked that day, I realized that's not true at all." She takes a slow breath, a tiny, uncertain smile lifting the corner of her lips. "There's no 'two of us' anymore, Hicchan. The Student Council has three people, right~? So all three of us are friends, together. If someone quits, it's not going to hurt just one person, it'll be painful for everyone. You were worried about me, and… it's silly, but that felt really nice, you know? It made me happy. And the more I thought about things, the more I believed that as long as we can stay together; you, me and Shicchan… everything is going to be okay in the end."

All that's left of the sun is the tip on the edge of the horizon. It only takes a second - and it's gone.

I can sense something is not quite right when Misha's hand slowly slides out my grasp, her head lowered. Her eyes re-open, and I glimpse an indecipherable emotion within as she addresses me once more.

"So, Hicchan… even if you go back to Shicchan now, that'll be okay too, I think." The strengthening breeze picks up her words, carrying them far away. My mind is blank, as if the wind took my own thoughts with it as well. Long, empty seconds pass, before I hear Misha's voice again. "If I were in your place… I really, really don't know what I would do…"

_Music track: -_

…

Wha…What…?

My brain struggles to comprehend what I just heard. Why would she even bring up such a thing? Was it something I said…?

No, that has nothing to do with it. I could feel that something was off from the very beginning; Misha has been trying to find a way to get this off her chest ever since she noticed me standing next to her at the bench.

The bigger question is: were her words an offer or a suggestion? Her last sentence, however mildly put, seems to point towards the latter…

So… is this it then…? I thought it possible that Shizune's departure would drive us apart… The opposite… that never occurred to me for a moment.

But why? Did she see all that happened between us as nothing more than some "temporary fix"? Something she did out of necessity… or guilt?

Just what are Misha's real feelings towards me? Does she believe that in her heart, I can never compare to Shizune at all? Or perhaps, does she think that… she could never compare to Shizune in mine…?

…No.

I know all too well where this would lead… and thankfully, I'm so very-very tired of it. Maybe it would be well within my rights to be angry about this, but what's the point? I'm fed up with how I keep finding reasons to be upset, especially when I have no way of telling whether I'm right or wrong - since, let's face it, no matter how long I speculate, it will still remain nothing more than that: speculation. Which is also known as the sure recipe for disaster, I've learned that well enough now.

I cannot tell how Misha truly feels - but after coming all this way, I'd better be sure about where my own heart lies. And if I am, I'd do well to let her know. Perhaps then we'll both be able to see more clearly.

I awkwardly clear my throat.

_Music track: Aria de l'Etoile_

"Well… I guess it's strange, but… I don't think I've ever told you this before…"

My voice comes off as rather nervous, but there's no helping it. I put a hand on her shoulder, trying to get her to look at me, but so far to no avail.

"You know, there is someone I love."

Now that did the trick. I can't help but smile as I gaze into her widening golden eyes.

"We're very different people, she and I. Sometimes I underestimate her… sometimes she fails to understand me. Still, at the same time, I get the feeling we're oddly alike here, in the way we came to live, study and make friends at Yamaku."

My thoughts once again linger on her words about strength, on the hospital, on that year-old video… and suddenly a new memory joins those three: Shizune standing on the rooftop, almost at the same place we are now, her arms spread wide.

"Hey, maybe we also have something else in common. It's nothing groundbreaking I guess, but I just realized… how should I say this… Those close to us make us better people. We treasure the ones who let us into their lives and help us feel like we belong somewhere… Okay, maybe that sounds a bit overblown, but… to me, she's definitely one of them. I love her, and… I would not give her up for anything in the world… that is, if she feels the same way." Despite the tension, my smile widens into a silly grin. "Maybe you know her? She's supposedly called Shiina Mikado, even if that name doesn't see much use within the school walls…"

That evokes a small laugh from her, in direct contrast with her hand rubbing her left eye. "Hicchan…"

"I know, I'm too wordy." I lift my arms and gently cup her cheeks in both palms. "Then how's this for an answer?"

I slowly lean forward, not wanting to be rash but also refusing to show any hesitation, and after what feels like minutes of anticipation, our lips finally meet.

The kiss doesn't last long, merely a couple of seconds at most, but after an ambiguous start I can still feel it becoming something more than just a one-sided effort on my part. Though Misha won't jump into my arms, her hesitant, almost shy reaction is honest and pure, without pretense - and for me, that is more than enough.

Her eyes flicker towards the fence one more time. "But… you should be careful, Hicchan~. I've heard she's a really weird girl, so…"

She trails off, finishing her sentence with a small, timid chuckle instead.

"Not at all…" I state in a soft voice. My head feels heavy, and I tip more to the side to lean against both the back of the bench and her shoulder. "…Not at all."

Or if she is, then so am I. And Shizune of course. Let's not forget about Lilly and Hanako, not to mention Emi and Rin; I don't think I need to explain why. Then there's Mutou. I mean just look at the guy: he's weird in this weird scientist sort of way. Kenji? No comment. And you know what? I think Iwanako was weird too. Why else would she fall for such a patently weird guy like me…?

In the end, if you think about it… this world is filled with nothing but weird and even weirder people. Heh. Hehe. Hahahaha…

I'm hit by another, even stronger wave of exhaustion. Like when you untie the string at the bottom of an inflated balloon, and the air comes gushing out all at once, leaving only a wizened piece of rubber behind. With my body similarly devoid of strength, I find myself lying down on the bench, resting my head in Misha's lap.

Man… it feels like it's been days… or even weeks since I've truly lain down to rest…

Misha does not argue anymore; instead, I notice her hand resting gently against my cheek. Her legs feel soft and warm, and I soon begin to drift off; I don't fall asleep completely however, walking the blurred line between wakefulness and dreams for quite a while. I don't actually want to sleep, no matter how tired I may feel; I'd like to experience this moment of serenity to its fullest.

"I can see the stars, Hicchan…" Her bright voice helps my consciousness resurface. "You were right… They really are amazingly shiny~."

My eyes open wide, and I peer at the darkening sky in wonder as Misha runs her fingers gently across my hair. The few visible stars above the fading red streak on the horizon sparkle like brilliant, faraway diamonds.

I am finally at peace.

* * *

_Music track: The Student Council_

[Hey… Are you sure we didn't go overboard a little?]

I sign hesitantly to Shizune, my gaze sweeping across the student council room and its newest additions once more.

As expected, she looks entirely unfazed as she adjusts her glasses in a businesslike manner. [Not at all. When one has so much to do, recreation is very important! We absolutely cannot let the current or the future Student Council get burned out by work!]

[You're right, and I don't think anyone minds all the board games here, but… just what are you going to write into the monthly budget report about these…?]

On the floor next to a nearby desk, there's a piece of equipment, well, actually a game controller, which vaguely resembles a drum kit. On the desk itself, lined up in a neat row are three conventional controllers, one guitar-like thing without strings but with five color-coded buttons on its fret, one microphone, a projector and a brand new gaming console to which all these are connected.

Needless to say, this stuff was not cheap by any definition of the word. We didn't actually buy the projector at least, but borrowed it from a nearby classroom.

Before I can get too preoccupied with trying to remember the price of each, however, a thunderous finger snap hits the air.

[Don't worry, we're not going to write anything; officially, this was part of the election expenses. We can call it post-election recreation!]

I give a small sigh.

Alright, I think my worrywart quota is filled for today. I was there when we bought all these, anyway; I guess I just didn't realize what I was getting myself into until I saw everything lumped together in one massively expensive pile.

That explanation of hers is pretty fishy though. Election expenses, she says… I doubt the budget was big enough for this to begin with, even if we didn't spend a single yen on anything else. Every time I spoke with the principal about the budget, she always went on and on about how little money the school has left to spare, so any sum above zero would count as an achievement in my book.

The only possibility I can think of is that Shizune added some of her own money into our funds as well, something she'd no doubt refuse to admit. I can't help but wonder if this was the first time.

…Okay, fine, I actually did that too. It was just a five thousand yen bill though, dropped into that small purse when she wasn't looking, just when we were next in line at the cashier.

It's all for a good cause.

Today is the 1st of November. Incidentally, it's also Thursday. The council elections are finally over; they were still held earlier than originally planned, but postponing them for months didn't seem fair to all the candidates after the previous incident, when they were forced to get their act together in less than a week. The results are encouraging so far: the new Student Council will be a lot bigger than ours, with a good number of first-year students in it. The fact that we'll still be running most things for a while can also give them time to ease into their roles; as Shizune so aptly put it, "a gradual transition is important".

Well, it's probably also true that she's reluctant to let things go. In a way, we all are.

Today however, even if it's also the day of the "after-election party" Shizune had been planning for a while, will be about something completely different. And when I say completely different, I mean-

"Hicchan~! Are you and Shicchan in there? The door seems locked for some reason~!"

…Yeah, it's locked, but that doesn't keep Misha from trying to get in anyway. Following my gaze, Shizune regards the rattling door for a moment before our eyes meet. For once, I'd say we both look equally shocked.

[I thought you gave her a list of groceries as long as the Great Wall of China…!]

Already slightly miffed by the turn of events, my frantic signs don't help my fellow conspirator's mood one bit. [Don't be stupid, of course I did! There's simply no way she could have bought them all already…! Some of those ingredients are impossible to get in any nearby store!]

[Are you sure about that? Did you really check every single place she might know about…?]

Shizune does not answer, merely crosses her arms in front of her chest and stares at me pointedly, daring me to ask the question again.

I… think I'll pass.

It's more likely that the opposite is true: Misha doesn't know nearly as many stores around here as her, and now she came back to tell us that she couldn't find some of the stuff we asked. Or she just couldn't understand something on the list. Or her bags were feeling heavy, and she came to give us the things she bought so far before heading out again - considering the cast on her foot was only removed two days ago, that wouldn't be a surprise.

It is beginning to dawn on me that our plan has more holes in it than Swiss cheese - which is especially embarrassing considering I was the one who came up with it.

Too late to worry about that though. Shizune turns towards the desk full of gaming accessories thoughtfully, before abruptly spinning around to face me again.

[Talk to her at the door, but don't let her in. Buy me some time.]

With that, she whirls around yet again to grab the projector, not giving me the chance to respond. Honestly, I don't think I could have replied with something more meaningful than "well, okay, I'll try my best" anyway.

"Just a sec, Misha, I'll be right there!" I call out, and then make my way to the door with loud but absurdly slow steps, like some humanlike robot in a cheap sci-fi movie.

I also try fiddling around with the lock as long as I can, even "accidentally" dropping the key to the floor once. Still, the time soon arrives when I simply cannot delay opening the door any longer without coming off as suspicious, if I'm not suspicious already.

I decide to open it just wide enough to poke my head out to the corridor. Misha stands there with a stuffed white shopping bag in each hand, grinning from ear to ear.

"Wahahaha~! I knew you're here~!"

"Yeah, sorry about this, we got really busy and locked the door because the room is … in a bit of disarray right now." I try to come up with a usable excuse without actually lying. It's hard. "So, you've got everything from the store?"

"Not yet~! But~! I brought you this!" She puts the bags down, grabs a small packet from the top of the left one and offers it to me.

Uh-oh. Chocolate coated almonds.

Lately Misha seems to have taken upon herself to make me join the parfait-eating side of the Force, which in turn meant defeating my distaste for praline. She only got as far as chocolate coated almonds for now, but I can in no way deny that I absolutely love these.

"I brought something for Shicchan too~!" She hands me my gift, then snatches another packet from the bag and pushes at the door to open it wide. The almonds work so well as a distraction that I almost move out of her way before I realize what I'm doing.

"Wait, hold on! I wasn't joking when I said that the room's in total chaos. I'm not sure it'd be a good idea to go in right now. Shizune's got her hands full, so… she might not be happy that we're distracting her."

Misha merely laughs at my objections. Okay, I guess that's not saying much. "It can't be that bad, Hicchan~! Shicchan said she'll be cooking for us today~, but we don't have to turn the room upside down just for that… I'm not sure why we have to cook in the council room, anyway~…"

"Shizune came up with it, not me. She seems pretty passionate about it." This is entirely true. It might've also served as a handy reason to lock ourselves up here, but Shizune does want to make dinner for the three of us. This room being a less than ideal place for cooking, however, I don't think we'll see her go beyond ready-made stuff from the store, for which a simple portable stove will do just fine.

"Yeah… She's really excited, isn't she~?" Her smile only falters the smallest bit, but I notice it anyway. The truth is, Misha was never very enthusiastic about the so-called "after-election party" - I was the one who talked her into taking part. To her, the whole celebration has something of an "early goodbye" feel to it, which obviously doesn't sit well with her. I can only hope we'll be able to turn that around.

For that, however, we need more time. "Look, just let me take your bags and I'll give everything to Shizune, okay?"

Mimicking Shizune's earlier posture almost perfectly, Misha crosses her arms. Her cheery expression and sing-song voice are the only things that don't fit, but those differences don't necessarily mean anything. I wonder if I've made her mad.

"No~."

Man, this isn't good. "Um… Please?"

"Wahahaha~! Nope~!" Well, at least she's not mad. "You're hiding something from me, right, Hicchan~?"

On the other hand, I'm completely screwed. "…Why would I be hiding anything from you…?"

"Hmmm~… No idea!" She leans closer, until most of my field of vision is obscured by pink hair and two sparkling orbs of gold. "But I think you know~!"

"I… don't think I… Whoa-!" Misha suddenly grabs onto me while simultaneously charging forward, using all her weight to push me back inside the room.

There's no way for me to stop her from getting in, but that doesn't mean I'm beaten yet. The moment I manage to regain my balance, I wrap my arms around her and trap her in a similarly fierce hug, her head surrounded by my arms and chest from all sides. To my relief, she doesn't try to wriggle free.

"Hey~… Hicchan, I can't see!"

"Yeah, that's exactly the point," I reply in a slightly smug voice.

"That's not fair~!" Despite her words, I can tell that she finds the situation somewhat amusing as well. With the crisis temporarily averted, I look around the room, searching for Shizune to see how she's doing.

I do a double take as, instead of seeing her running around in a frenzy, I find her standing next to us with a gentle smile on her face.

[You can let her go now.]

That was fast… With a small shrug, I do as she says, and Misha and I take in the rearranged council room together.

Yes, rearranged is no overstatement: most desks have been pushed towards the wall, leaving more open space in the center, where the drum kit has been placed along with the table with the rest of the gaming equipment. The console itself is now on the floor, while the projector is balanced precariously on a pile of books and board games on top of the desk, throwing a slightly shaky image on the wall. The curtains are pulled closed, which makes the projected letters clearly visible in front of the green background.

Still, I think I'll read them aloud anyway.

_Music track: Generic Happy Music_

"Happy Birthday, Misha."

I sign my words as well, and Shizune quickly follows my lead.

[Happy Birthday. We wanted to do this after the party and the cake, but I guess there's no harm in giving you your present a bit early.]

Yeah, like she says, the original plan was to go after Misha once the preparations were complete here and take her to the Shanghai, where Yuuko is already waiting for us with our delicious pre-ordered cake. Hopefully this change of plans won't prove to be a problem… I mean I don't know how it'd be a problem… And it's not like I'm nervous or anything, just… well… you see…

"…you."

I only catch the last word of a sentence so quiet that I have to wonder where it came from. There's only the three of us in the room, it can't be Shizune, it can't be me…

"Err, sorry?" I stare at Misha like she just somehow proved to me that all the laws of physics are wrong. I notice a watery shine in her eyes that wasn't there moments ago.

"Thank you." Her voice is still barely more than a whisper, but this time around she also signs what she says, and Shizune replies unaware of the phenomenon that left me completely dumbfounded.

[Don't thank us yet, save your praise until you ate some of my homemade dinner! I worked very hard to get those recipes just right. It's going to be delicious!] Her prideful speech is cut short by a second of hesitation. [Anyway, it's only natural that we celebrate your birthday. I actually feel a little bad that we didn't do something like this last year.]

It took me a while, but I finally manage to stop gawking like an idiot. "You've heard the council president. So, want to give the game a try?"

The next thing I know, I nearly fall to the floor as Misha lunges at us, using the fact that Shizune and I stand close to each other to try embracing both of us at once.

[Hey! Don't just-] The rest of Shizune's signs become incomprehensible as she also struggles to stay on her feet.

"Wahahaha~! Thank you-thank-you-thank you~!" Now that's more like it. "All right! Let's do a song~!"

Unfortunately, hugs and sign language do not mesh too well, and Misha is forced to step back to repeat the sentence in Shizune's direction.

[Okay, but we can't stay for too long, it wouldn't be right to keep Yuuko waiting. The owner of the Shanghai is already doing us a great favor again by letting me use the kitchen.]

Wait a second. "You're going to cook _there_?"

[Where do you think I made all that food the last time? You know it's forbidden to use a stove in the classrooms, and I didn't ask Misha to get me all these ingredients for nothing.] Well, that makes sense. That said, Shizune can still amaze me with her connections. [By the way, I call dibs on the guitar.]

"What…? Damn, I wanted the guitar too."

Shizune gives a satisfied nod, like she just beat me in a game of chess.

[Well, too late; the early bird catches the worm. No more worms left for you!]

Oh, now this means war.

"Looks like you're really eager to get your hands on that guitar. Don't tell me someone's been practicing at the arcade…"

She throws me a not very convincing glare, but before I can bask in the glory of getting the last word…

"I call dibs on the drums~!"

Gah! Now I'm left with nothing but the microphone! Then again, I guess this was inevitable: Shizune can't sing, and Misha… well, let's not get into that.

"Don't worry Hicchan~! I know you have really, really nice singing voice!"

I do?

"…And just where did you hear me sing?"

"In the shower of course! Wahahaha~!"

Do you really have to say, and, well, sign that out loud?

[Then it's time we put that talent of yours to the test. But make no mistake, you will not be singing just for your own amusement - give it everything you've got! Our pride as musicians is at stake, and the Student Council Band will not tolerate the lead singer slacking off!]

Oh boy… Right, I surrender, I surrender. Let's just get on with this before I kick the bucket out of sheer embarrassment, okay?

_Music track: -_

Shizune quickly grabs the guitar; just the way she's holding it makes it obvious already that she has some experience under her belt. Misha hops behind the drums, twirling a stick in each hand in a pretty impressive display of dexterity with a huge grin plastered across her face. I have no choice but to pick up the microphone… and try to look at least half as cool as them. I don't think it's working.

We all gaze expectantly at the projected image of our in-game avatars on the wall as the song we picked out begins to the thunderous applause of the virtual audience.

The intro starts off with a few chords from the guitar. We forgot to lower the difficulty setting from "normal", but Shizune makes the whole thing look ridiculously easy: even if she can't hear the results of her efforts, she can undoubtedly feel the rhythm, playing each color combination the game presents at exactly the right time.

The drums soon join in, with Misha alternating between the three main pads at a speed you'd never expect to see from her - that is, if you didn't witness her playing the taiko drums in the arcade for hours, putting any and all competition to shame.

She does not laugh as that would interfere with the music, but you can literally feel the waves of joy radiating from her, inspiring me to look forward to my own part as well. Because I know: her happiness isn't only about the song, or the drums alone. It's about what we can create together.

I glance at the lyrics of the upcoming verse like a mountaineer at the towering peak in front of him, guitar and drums melding together in a gripping melody to aid my ascent. They will help me, and I will help them. We will reach the top as one.

I draw a deep breath, a smile playing in the corner of my lips.

Here goes nothing.

_Music track: Romance in Andante_

**_THE END_**


End file.
